Sunday, June 27, 2010

Separated At Birth

I have absolutely loved the World Cup this year. I don't know if it's my patriotic spirit or the vuvuzela or the excuse to drink in the morning, but I'm captivated. Even though USA lost in plastic horn snapping fashion yesterday, I'm still going to watch and root for England Argentina. You know why? Diego Maradona. He's regarded as one of the greatest players in football *cough*soccer*cough* history. He's well known for the "Hand of God" goal in the 1986 World Cup. Otherwise known as "la mano de Dios" which I thought meant something else entirely. After a long relationship with the cocaine, Maradona had a stint as a talk show host before becoming Argentina's head coach in 2008. He's one of those outspoken, blast the media types who reminds me of Ozzie Guillen. Let's go to the Seperated at Birth Breakdown before I have to get drunker and watch more soccer...

Diego Maradona
We covered the "Hand of God" goal but he's also credited with the "Goal of the Century" from the same World Cup in 1986. *vaca sagrada* What I like about Diego is his willingness to fire away at any chance he gets...
"Many journalists should apologize to the players," he said, oozing confidence and never losing his cool. "I'm not suggesting you drop your trousers, but it would be honest and great so we all get along better."


"All of a sudden we're an excellent team ... the most handsome people in the barrio!"
Maradona has also been a highlight reel on the sidelines. I never know what he's doing back there. He's fascinating and it takes the pressure off of his players. He'd also probably get tossed for arguing balks if he could. Speaking of which...

Ozzie Guillen
Guillen doesn't have the prolific playing career that Maradona does. He did win Rookie of the Year in 1985 but that's because voters hated Stew Cliburn and his 2.9 WAR. But Ozzie has gone on to win the hearts of many with his insane antics as manager of the White Sox. He won a World Series and probably can't get fired even though he supposedly came to blows with GM Kenny Williams earlier this year. The Ozzie legend is huge so I'm just going to steal some quotes from a Crasnick article from two years ago...
"He's garbage, still garbage, going to die as garbage," Guillen says of Mariotti. [Ed. I concur, by the way]

"You're not even a pimple on your daddy's ass," Guillen tells Wendelstedt.

"How you doing, Ozzie?" North says.
"Oh, shut the [bleep] up," Guillen replies. [Ed. Love Ozzie meter goes up 4 points]

"[Showalter] never even smelled a jock in the big leagues," Guillen says. "Mr. Baseball never even got a hit in Triple-A. I was a better player than him, I have more money than him and I'm better looking than him."
Two huge egos, successful managers, self proclaimed good looking, tons of cash. My question to you, were they separated at birth?

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