Curveballs for Jobu 8/19/11

Curveballs for Jobu is the trip around the ballparks that Offbasepercentage keeps forgetting to take.

Today's honorary bat boy is Brook Fordyce.




Jobu last appeared on June 29, when candy was only five cents and the Astros had Mike Scott. Since that time, MTD has been on a journey trying to discover the true meaning of the third day after Christmas, while Derwood took up work as a traveling air guitar salesman.


Yankees 8, Twins 4. My first Jobu since May 3 and of course we lead off with the Yankees. But this game was more about the Twins. It's been an interesting year for Minnesota, for hilarious reasons: Carl Pavano stinks, and for historic reasons: James Thome recently hit his 600th home run. But Thursday may have been the most bizarre day of the season for the Hrbeks. Minnesota came to the park with no bench, and that's not me trying to make fun of the caliber of players on the bench, or suggesting that the players were forced to stand all game. The Twins did not have anyone available on the bench: Michael Cuddyer (neck), Denard Span (concussion symptoms), and Matt Tolbert (?) were all banged up with injuries and didn't play, Jason Kubel was away from the team for family reasons, and a person named Luke Hughes missed his flight from Triple-A Rochester because HE WAS AT THE WRONG GATE. That's like the time when I was supposed to fly to New York for a family reunion, but was at the wrong airport. It's not that Uncle Ralph was mad, he was just disappointed. Anyway, Hughes arrived just in time to strike out on three pitches in the ninth, and New York stayed a half game up on Boston in the AL East.

Dodgers 5, Brewers 1. How do you slow down a red-hot team? Let Rod Barajas playa hate. The LA catcher hit a solo home run in the second to get the Barajas (new word for "party") started and the Dodgers never trailed in preventing Milwaukee from completing a 7-0 home stand. Clayton Kershaw was pretty good, too, tossing eight shut out innings in winning his 15th game.

Nationals 3, Reds 1. Now, I've been away for quite a while, but I think I may know what's wrong with the Reds: Miguel Cairo is batting fifth. Anyway, Thursday belonged to Jesus Flores, who homered for the first time since May 8, 2009. You know who else homered that day? Chris Coste.

Indians 4, Whitesox 2. The return of KenHarrelsonVoice™!

"Well, the good guys came into Thursday's game hoping to pick up a half-sandwich on the idle Tiggers. Sox got a little bingo from Pauly in the third, you can put it on the boarrrrrd, yes! Attaboy Pauly. But the Tribe came right back with two in the fourth against Zach Stewart. Stewsie left one out over the plate and Matt Laporta put it on the boarrrrrd, no. Our Sox threatened in a couple innings, but couldn't push any peas across the dish. The good guys did strike out 13 bad guys: Jason Donald in the first, he gone! Shin-Soo Choo in the second, he gone! Carlos Santana in the ninth, he gone! Wimpy's pick to click, Juan Pierre, went 1-for-5."

Braves 1, Giants 0. Mike Minor (6 IP, 4 H, 9 K) and three relievers combined on a five-hitter as Atlanta won on Paul Runge bobblehead night.

Bluejays 7, Athletics 0. Actual announced attendance: 14.




Other games, but down here...

Padres 3, Marlins 1
Angels 2, Rangers 1
Phillies 4, Diamondbacks 1
Redsox 4, Royals 3

Brett Gardner's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.


Brett Gardner had a really good 2010 season for the Yankees as a speedy left-handed hitter, putting together a .383 on-base percentage and collecting a 4.5 WAR. He was assured a job out of spring training and was even going to lead off against right-handed pitchers.

I'm not sure what happened leading up to the month of April, but it's possible Gardner wasn't notified the season had begun. Or maybe he just stopped bringing his bat to the plate with him, I don't know, I haven't seen every Yankees game. Either way, something is wrong in Brett Gardner Land (population: dozens of called strikes), and Sunday against the Orioles was the left fielder's toughest day at the plate in a month full of tough days at the plate.


Let's sample the cool breezes at Camden Yards.

2nd inning - Gardner strikes out looking against Jake Arrieta.

4th inning - Gardner again strikes out looking against Arrieta.

Fake Jake Arrieta quote in toned-down KenHarrelsonVoice™: "he gone."

9th inning - You know the old saying: sometimes there's just too much Kevin Gregg to handle, and Gardner finds thought out the smelly way, fanning on four pitches.

11th inning - Jason Berken gets a four-pitch swinging K.


[*Note* While Gardner's offense has been Simply Espinozian through the season's first month (.154/.214/.288 slash line coming into Sunday's game), he did make a great catch to end the bottom of the eighth inning and keep a game tied the Yankees would go on to win in 11. Contributions.]

Curveballs for Jobu 4/8/11

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Eddie Gaedel.




CFJ was canceled yesterday while MTD discovered the true meaning of the day after Christmas. But we're back with plenty of Miguel Cairo talk.



Yankees 4, Twins 3. One of NY's biggest projects coming in the offseason, besides alerting the authorities about my P.P.P. (Pantsless Pavano Protest) in February, was trying to get Alan James Burnett straightened out. So far it's working as the righty is 2-0 after tossing six innings of two-run ball. So we don't need the wagon and the padded room for Anthony in Poughkeepsie just yet. Also, Derek Jeter passed Rogers Hornsby for 33rd on the all-time hit list with a 2-for-3 day. I'm pretty sure we're the first site to mention that.

Astros 3, Reds 2. The crowd of 20,014 included a walk-up sale of 6,301, presumably to see Matt Downs hit. Downs delivered, ripping the go-ahead double in the ninth to send Houston to its first win of the season and hand Cincy its first loss. Miguel Cairo just keeps padding his all star game resume: pinch-hit single in the fifth, .400 average through Thursday.

Whitesox 5, Devilrays 1. The 2011 debut of KenHarrelsonVoice:

"Edwin Jackson was humming, tellyouwhat. Johnny Damon-he gone! Matt Joyce-he gone! Ben Zobrist-he gone! Sean Rodriguez-he gone! 13 whiffs in all for Eddie Jacks and the Palehose offense got cooking right away. Juan Pierre with a duck snort in the first got things started, attaboy Juany. Then Alex doubled in Juany and Gordo. Later, Pauly singled in a run, attaboy Pauly, and the good guys added two runs late to keep the bad guys winless at 0-6. Today the Sox send Johnny Danks to the slab against Tampa. Come on, Johnny, little bingo."

Indians 1, Redsox 0. Rafael Perez got the win and Chris Perez picked up the save for the 4-2 Tribe. In other Perez news: Horatio Perez went to the bathroom, Luis Perez replaced the light bulb in the bedroom closet and Manny Perez drove his uncle, Jorge Perez to his dentist appointment.

Phillies 11, Mets 0. Brad Emaus: 0-for-4.

Brewers 4, Braves 2. Dan Merklinger cleared waivers and was sent down to Double-A Huntsville Thursday, so I'm just a little too emotional to talk about this game.


Other games, but down here...

Athletics 2, Bluejays 1
Rockies 7, Pirates 1

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Kevin McReynolds.

Marlins 8, Nationals 2. Well, that bum Stephen Strasburg really stunk up the joint Tuesday. In his return from the disabled list, Strasburg allowed six earned runs in 4 1/3 innings, which is no way to win MTD's heart with the Vernon High School homecoming dance just a month away.

Orioles 14, Indians 8. We'd like to introduce a new segment at Jobu entitled How Poorly Did Cleveland Pitch Today? The August 10 winner is Really Poorly (14 runs, 11 earned, four HR allowed). Really Poorly will take home a Bobby Meachum bobblehead doll and be entered into our drawing for the end-of-the-year grand prize: a DVD copy of Todd Van Poppel reading a poem about blueberries.

Twins 12, Whitesox 6. KenHarrelsonVoice™ returns:

"The Chisox came into this one tied for first with the Twinkies and with Freddy Garcia on the slab, the outlook was brighter than pigeon poo on a roof top, tellyouwhat. But the bad guys had Freddy's number this time around. In the second, Jim Thome, J.J. Hardy and Joe Mauer each put it on the board, no. Tony Pena, Wimpy's pick to click, came on in relief but T.P. allowed five runs and the good guys' lumber went quiet. The crew's pick to click, Pauly, had a couple duck snorts. Scott Linebrink in the eighth: Orlando Hudson-he gone! Michael Cuddyer-he gone!"

Padres 4, Pirates 1. Ryan Ludwick hit his first two home runs as a Padre and Wade LeBlanc struck out eight in 5 2/3 innings, denying Pittsburgh its coveted 40th win.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Billy Hatcher




Giants 9, Brewers 3. We're big fans of Buster Posey here at Offbase, going back to his school boy days at Lee County High School (GA). Posey hit another home run Thursday, his fourth long ball in the last four games. Also: Aubrey Huff continued his quietly-excellent season with a HR, 4-RBI night. Huff, in his first year with San Fran, has a slash line of .298/.384/.556 and a 145 OPS+ would tie his career high, set in 2003 with Tampa Bay when he finished 24th in the MVP voting behind Esteban Loaiza (unnecessary Esteban Loaiza reference).

Bluejays 8, Twins 1. Was at baseballreference going through some of the old Toronto seasons and realized the franchise hasn't retired a single jersey number in 33 years. Joe Carter hit more than 200 home runs, and one big one in the World Series, in seven seasons, but had marginal overall numbers. Roberto Alomar had a great five seasons, but it was only five seasons. Dave Steib (3.44 ERA and 173 wins in 15 seasons)? John Olerud (.395 OBP, 130 OPS+ in eight seasons)? If we had to choose, we'd say Tom Henke's No. 50 (2.48 ERA, 1.02 WHIP, 217 saves in eight seasons). Or Rance Mullinks' No. 5.

Astros 1, Pirates 0. Roy Oswalt probably doesn't have much time left in a Houston uniform, but first he said "please, please, please, can I face Pittsburgh once more?" Oswalt tossed a one-hit shutout and Lance Berkman launched a pair of solo home runs as Houston swept the three-game series. Jeff Clement: DNP.

Whitesox 1, Angels 0. KenHarrelsonVoice™ returns:

"Johnny Danks had it hummin' on a muggy day on the southside, tellyouwhat. Howie Kendrick in the first, he gone! Mike Napoli in the second, he gone! Jeff Mathis, Kevin Frandsen, Cory Aldridge, they gone! Aldridge came back up again with a fist full of determination, but he gone! Then with two down in the ninth, Danksy got the sign from A.J. and Kendrick came up again-he gone! Good guys got a little bingo in the first, sac fly from Pauly, attaboy Pauly. Wimpy's pick to click was Vizzy, who walked twice but made an error and was caught stealing. Wimpy drops to third behind Stoney and the Crew. Good guys 1, bad guys zero."

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Juan Berenguer




Royals 2, Angels 1. Lefty Joe Saunders was good-8 IP, 1 ER-but the Anaheim bullpen was not-Brian Fuentes blown save, Scot Shields blown nose. KC has won six of eight and is nine games back in the Central on July 3, the closest to first the franchise has been on this date since the 2003 team was in first place, 2 1/2 games up. Wilson Betemit: 1-for-4, single.

Reds 12, Cubs 0. Solid day for the Cubbies. The offense picked up a pair of singles against Bronson Arroyo (6 IP), then Cincy exploded for nine runs in the seventh off Ryan Dempster and a little leaguer named Zach.

Diamondbacks 12, Dodgers 5. The Kirk Gibson era got off to a nice start as Arizona rolled over Hiroki Kuroda (1 2/3 IP, 6 ER) and Jeff Weaver (1 1/3 IP, 3 ER). Any time Jeff Weaver is prominently involved in an embarrassing loss, I'm delighted.

Whitesox 5, Rangers 3. KenHarrelsonVoice™ returns:

"The bad guys led 3-1 after six, but the Sox got a little bingo goin' in the seventh, tell you what. Like the ghost of Scotty Pods, Gordo started the inning with a duck snort, attaboy Gordo. Then Juan, the crew's pick to click, singled. Alex and Pauly drove in runs and all of a sudden the good guys were tied. Ninth inning, bad guys have hard throwing Neftali Perez in the game, but the Sox have Kotsy on the roster for a reason: ninthinningbigtime. Kotsy drove a double into the gap, scoring two and the Palehose took their first lead. Bottom 9? He gone! Wimpy's pick to click, Andruw Jones didn't play."

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Rod Beck



Royals 1, Nationals 0. This Stephen Strasburg youngster is going to be alright. The Washington offense, on the other hand, reportedly will be played by the Espinoza Nine in an upcoming feature film. Strasburg set another rookie record, picking up 41 strike outs in his first four starts (Herb Score's 40 was the old record). Sadly, the Nats could only get six singles against the Royals, which is the equivalent of getting six handshakes on prom night, and Strasburg, despite nine Ks and one earned run, Riggleman'd for the first time in his young career. Wilson Betemit: DNP.

Phillies 7, Indians 6. Jimmy Rollins, who correctly predicted the Phillies would win last year's World Series in five games, hit the first walk-off home run of his career to help the Phils beat the apendage formerly referred to in conversations as Kerry Wood's right arm. Shin-Soo Choo belted two home runs (his first since June 1) for the Indians, who have lost eight of nine.

Mets 5, Tigers 0. R.A. Dickey is pitching like it's....well, he's......R.A. Dickey is pitching well in 2010. The knuckleballer, who was terrible in nearly all of his 442 2/3 innings through 2009, went eight scoreless Wednesday and has now given up two runs or less in five of his seven starts.

Whitesox 4, Braves 2. Let's bring back KenHarrelsonVoice™ for this one:

"Well, the good guys had to sit through a rain delay before this one, nearly two hours, tell you what. The crew's pick to click during the rain delay was Murray, 7th from the left on the tarp. Atta boy Murray. The bad guys took the lead in the second on a duck snort, but the Sox came back. Pauly with a little bingo, singled in Vizzy, then Carlos put it on the board eeeeeee-s, then later he put it on the board eeeeee-s again. Big night for Carlos, Wimpy's pick to click. In the 9th, Jenkser came in and did what the Jenkser does: he gone! Good guys 4, bad guys 2."

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Kent Tekulve




Astros 5, Rockies 4. The 'Stros are what you would call a streaky team. They started the year 0-8, won eight of their next 10, lost eight in a row and 11 of 12, won four straight, lost 13 of 17, and have since won eight of 10 after taking three of four from Colorado. Roy Oswalt pitched seven innings of four-hit ball and struck out nine.

Whitesox 3, Tigers 0. I'll do this one in KenHarrelsonVoice™:

"Johnny Danks twirls a one-hitter through seven, attaboy Danksey. Vizzy put one on the board eeee-yesss, and lookat A.J., little pop out of A.J. today, attaboy A.J. Little bingo for Alexei, he had a duck snort in the fifth. Good guys three, bad guys zero. The crew's pick to click Mark Kotsay went 0-for-3 with a strikeout. Kotsy'll get 'em tomorrow though. Batting cage under the first-base stands, Kotsy be there in the morning, you better believe it. Attaboy Kotsy."

Reds 7, Giants 6. Second baseman Brandon Phillips ripped a two-run triple to cap a rally in the eighth for the Reds, who I can say for the first time on June 11 are the best team in the NL Central. Phillips had a four-hit game, and I think the second baseman from Redan HS (GA) could be putting together his finest season. His 120 OPS+ is 27 points above his career average and he's getting on base more, which clashes with the philosophy of Dusty Clogs Baker.

Athletics 6, Angels 1. This Trevor Cahill guy is OK. He gave up six hits in a career-high eight innings. The right-hander from Oceanside-760-(Braden'd) has now allowed three earned runs or less in all nine starts since he got beat up by Toronto in his first start of the year April 30. That's definitely the most words I've ever written about Trevor Cahill.