Scheduled Alex Rodriguez Hearing May or May Not Happen

The countdown is ticking toward zero-hour for the Alex Rodriguez Biogenesis/PED/General Douchebaggery hearing that is scheduled for next week. Except now, it appears that the meeting could be canceled. That, of course, is terrible. Simpy because it means that this whole daytime soap opera is going to dragged out even longer than it needs to be.

I admit that I have gone out of my way to avoid this whole mess. I hate it. Hate hate hate hate it. Largely because it involves two people in baseball who annoy me more than a human being should be allowed to annoy another human being without physically doing anything to that person. Those people are Alex Rodriguez, and Bud Selig.

But I did get a laugh at what, apparently, is the wording used for the penalty against A-Rod. Cue the blockquote:

MLB said the penalty was for "use and possession of numerous forms of prohibited performance-enhancing substances, including testosterone and human growth hormone over the course of multiple years" and for "engaging in a course of conduct intended to obstruct and frustrate the office of the commissioner's investigation."

Engaging in a course of conduct intended to obstruct and frustrate the office of the commissioner's investigation. Did Rodriguez egg your house, Bud? Make prank calls? Loiter at your local liquor store? Threw a rock through your window? I am upset that the phrase "Git offa mah lawn" was not used once in that statement. Not. One. Time.....Damnit.

I, obviously, am 100% OK with Rodriguez getting a 211 game suspension. I am also OK with anything that adds a few inches to the waistline - and costs a few inches at the hairline - of Bud Selig.

What I am trying to say is: In the span of the of 30 minutes that I spent writing this post, I have become a fan of the shenanigans that is this investigation. The whole thing is regressing into nonsense and will likely provide plenty of things for me to write about. So, thank you, Alex Rodriguez and Bud Selig *vomits* for giving me news that isn't actually news but is incredibly easy to make fun of. I kind of appreciate it. *vomits again*

A Whole New Meaning to the Term A-Fraud

Pucker up

It's very rare these days to have a news story come out of nowhere and knock the public upside the head with a 20 pound sledgehammer. But that is exactly what happened yesterday when The Miami New Times News ran this Tim Elfrink story about an anti aging clinic in Miami. The story then exploded. His three months worth of research linked not only players that got busted last year for testing positive for heightened levels of testosterone in their system (Bartolo Colon, Melky Cabrera), but it also uncovered a few names that escaped any scrutiny. There was the "surprise shock" in seeing Gio Gonzalez's name attached to the report, there was the "kind of surprising, but not really unexpected" addition of Nelson Cruz, and there was the "damnit, we should've known he would be included" inclusion of everybody's favorite New York Yankee, Alex Rodriguez. Like clockwork, and just in time for baseball's new in season HGH testing program to go into affect, a PED scandal. Oh goodie.

Of course, that was yesterday's flavor. the onslaught of information, speculation and conjecture came from every baseball outlet. MLB Network stopped their regularly planned program to cover this breaking story. ESPN, I'm sure, said something about it, then they went back to drooling over NASCAR and Tim Tebow. It was impossible to escape what was happening. I wasn't even able to find solace or get sanctuary from firing up my old Friendster account as social media darlings had even taken to that platform to discuss, analyze and dissect how MLB players could be, um, well, stupid enough to trust someone like Anthony fucking Bosch.

Of course, we as a people are fickle these days. News becomes old in about 45 minutes, and we are off looking for the next thing that can raise an eyebrow or stir up some enlightening debate. People on Twitter went back to tweeting nonsense, people on Instagram went back to taking pictures of food and people went back to ignoring Friendster's existence. Everything went back to normal, or so it seemed. Just when you thought it was safe to venture back out onto the interwebz again, Ken Rosenthal went and decided that we not only had not had enough of this PED scandal, we also needed a new and illegal way of viewing Alex Rodriguez's tie into this whole mess. Suggesting a possible "out" for the Yankees using his hip surgery, and getting a Doctor to say that A-Rod can't continue playing due to the injuries leaving a bulk of the tab for the insurance company to pick up and saying:

The Orioles received similar benefits when Albert Belle was unable to play again due to a degenerative hip condition in 2000.

Say it with me Kenny, "A degenerative hip condition, in this case osteoarthritis, is not the same as a labral tear." Repeat that 10 times out loud, then write it down 100 times and turn it in after class. That's not where Mr. Short Stack kicks this whole thing off, but that is pretty standard knowledge. The only word that combines the two players is the word "hip." Apparently, our beloved bow tied reporter decided that even minimal fact checking was indeed not necessary before running this story. Let's continue.

The party line is that A-Rod will work his hardest to make a full recovery, just as he did after his previous surgery. But the landscape is different now — much different if Rodriguez indeed was using three substances banned by baseball, as shown by records obtained by the Miami New Times from Anthony Bosch’s anti-aging clinic.

Pretty standard for a team to tow that kind of line concerning their most expensive player. Sidebar, this is the second time that Rosey mentions A-Rod and PED use. I can't afford to install a ticker on the side of this post, so I will just point them out as they come along. Moving on. 

If Rodriguez used PEDs from ’09 to ’12 — after admitting that he used them from ’01 to ’03 — it would stand to reason that he is uncertain of his ability to perform without “assistance.”

That's three, and, no kidding. He's already leaped the first hurdle for PED users in garnering a ridiculously lucrative contract. Now comes the task of living up to said contract. Insert needle here.

A-Rod can attempt to go through his rehabilitation, then make the case that he is physically unable to perform. A doctor surely could make such a diagnosis quite plausible, given the weakened condition of Rodriguez’s two hips. 

 Ahem, weakened condition of one hip. His other hip has already been fixed via surgery, so it's not like he now has some sort of duck waddle type gait going on (although, that would be amusing). It's OK though Kenny, you already made something up once with the Albert Belle mention earlier, why stop now. And I'm sure the Doctor's, um, fee, wouldn't be too extravagant.

A legal fight could ensue, with the insurance companies contending that either A) Rodriguez could still play or B) that his use of PEDs contributed to his physical deterioration. But good luck trying to win either case. 

Yeah, because this would be an insurance company's, and their attorney's first trip around the fraud block.

For the Yankees, there would be no better way out. 

And, boom. You have now officially given the Yankees their only option, and it is to take an illegal route down fraud avenue. Well played.

He says later in the piece that the Yankees would get "significant pushback" from the MLB Players Union if they were to simply try to void his contract on the grounds of A-Rod using PED's. The same Union that has now given the OK to implement in season blood testing for Human Growth Hormone. I find this very hard to believe that the MLBPA would come so far to improve it's public image where PED's are concerned only to turn around and then fight for a player who had just recently, and very publicly, been ousted for not only using enhancers, but lying about not using them since 2003 when he got ousted in 2009 for the same fucking thing!

For a small man, you have quite the reach Mr. Rosenthal. A-Rod has quite a few nicknames among non-Yankee fans (A-Roid, A-Fraud, etc.), but he will get a new one thanks to Matt Sussman and what he said on the twitter machine this morning:

A-Insurancefraud
— Matt Sussman (@suss2hyphens) January 30, 2013

I will say this however, if the Yankees were to go and try to pull this off, and then succeed in doing so. I will henceforth be contracting myself out to homeowners who own abandoned buildings. If they can pull off a heist of an insurance company to the tune of $134,117,647.06, I doubt any insurance company is going to be upset about paying out a few thousand dollars for a building burning down that hadn't been used in the last handful of years.

A-Rod Has Another Bum Hip

Alex Rodriguez's hips are aching again which either means it's about to rain or we get six more weeks of winter. The 37-year-old shell of a superstar isn't gracefully sauntering into the sunset of his Hall of Fame career. It's more like an awkward and painful limp to the finish. A gimp gait to retirement, if you will. Now comes the news that A-Rod will have surgery on his good, left hip that will likely sideline him for half of the 2013 season. He already had the right hip repaired several years ago. I'm not board certified but it appears the weight of his wallet has destroyed the joints in both his right and left, lower middle. But let's go to the block quotes for a second opinion...

A-Rod will undergo surgery on his left hip to repair a labral tear, the same procedure he had on his right hip in March 2009, according to sources familiar with his case. The surgery will take place in January and will be performed by Dr. Bryan Kelly from the Hospital for Special Surgery rather than Dr. Marc Philippon, who performed the first procedure in Vail, Colo. in 2009.

A-Rod isn’t expected to play until June or July, costing him three to four months of the 2013 season. Rodriguez turns 38 in July.

Right. *taps clipboard* Basically what I said. If Rodriguez was a German shepherd, they'd probably just put him down at this point.

Rodriguez hit 18 home runs and .272/.353/.430 for a 2.0 bWAR, the worst of his career in a full(ish) season. Hey, Derek Jeter only had a 2.1 bWAR so..there's..$46,000,000 of the Yankees 2012 payroll. Rodriguez will make $29 million for his half of 2013 and $119 million if he makes it through 2017. Maybe A-Rod will remember to lift his blocks of gold with his knees next time.

This news leaves the Yankees with a hole at third base. Not that ole no hips was exactly zipping around the hot corner. Too bad Wilson Betemit signed that two-year deal with the Orioles last season, said nobody. The free agent third base market is weak which should spark the Chase Headley trade rumors in 3, 2, 1...

Also disappointing? The Post's "Hip, Hip, Oh No!" headline. I hold you to higher (lower?) pun standards than that.

Not A-Rod and Cameron Diaz Too!?!

Never to be outdone by teammate/nemesis Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and his actress girlfriend, Cameron Diaz, have apparently split up too. Earlier this season, Jeter and Minka Kelly (Lyla Garrity of Friday Night Lights, hot chick in the new Charlie's Angels) called it quits after three years. So it only made sense for A-Rod and Diaz to also break it off...

The couple, who began dating in February of last year, rarely spoke publicly about their romance, but was never shy when it came to being photographed on their many beach getaways and intense workouts together.

So what happened? A source told Us that the pair's work ethic was to blame.

Diaz, I assume, is hard at work being goofy on talk shows and trying to not be so rough looking. Actually, IMDB says she has 2012 movies Gambit (nothing to do with the awesome Cajun X-man) and What to Expect When You're Expecting coming out in 2012.

Rodriguez has battled injuries this season and has a .284/.367/.475 line in 390 plate appearances. He was having his best defensive year at third base with a 10.8 UZR but it's hard to trust one outlying season after six years in the red. The split should allow him to focus on getting healthy for the post season and finding a more man-ish looking buff blond lady friend.

Aww, they'll always have popcorn in Dallas.

A-Rod To Buy Fancy-Pants Penthouse

It appears Alex Rodriquez is moving to the Upper West Side. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that A-Rod is set to buy a five bedroom condo in the Rushmore Building that overlooks the Hudson River for around $6 million. This kind of real estate investment will likely set A-Rod back a full month's worth of paychecks.

So what does $6 million buy somebody on Riverside Blvd. and W. 64th St.? After some exhaustive (seven and a half minutes) research, this is the best I could come up with. The floorplan is from the 37th floor instead of A-Rod's 35th floor condo but I can't imagine there is a difference.
That's just about 3,600 sq. ft. The black and white floorplan might not convey the fancy-pantsness of the condo so in anti-slideshow fashion, here's a virtual tour. Suck on that Bleacher Report.

Ah, the living room. This is where A-Rod and Cameron Diaz will entertain celebrities and diplomats with swanky cocktail parties. I fear my invitations will once again be lost in the mail. Even though I'd be the perfect guest to debate the awesomeness of being a centaur with Alex or how hot Cameron used to be in The Mask.

This would be where the magic happens. Let's move along quickly before someone imagines something nauseating.


A-Rod's new foyer. This will surely be fitted with some rather revealing and disturbing life size statues of Rodriguez.


This bathroom is from a different floorplan but probably won't be that much different than his. I couldn't find out whether or not it comes with an attendant to hand out cologne and breath mints.

The Rushmore also has a bunch of classy amenities that Alex won't be caught dead in. This concludes my Cribs tour of A-Rod's new digs. Sorry i couldn't get a peek into the fridge. But I'm guessing it contains a bunch of healthy stuff I've never heard of. Mine is filled with rum and pizza rolls.

The 35 Year Old And Over Team

If I've learned anything from blogging, it's that people love lists. So I'm going to run out some lineups that fall in line with the arbitrary parameters that I have set. Yesterday we looked at the 25-year-old and younger team. Today's lineup consists of players who are 35-years-old or older by April 1st, 2011. The 2011 forecasts are courtesy of Bill James. Now, allow me to present to you the 2011 New York Yankees.

Catcher - Jorge Posada 8/17/1971
2010: 18 HR, .248/.357/.454, .357 wOBA, 2.4 WAR
2011: 16 HR, .260/.363/.454, .375 wOBA

Posada only started 78 games behind the dish in 2010 and will see considerably less time there in 2011 with the signing of Russell Martin and prospect Jesus Montero's already ready bat for the bigs. But my other choices were Rod Barajas and Bengie Molina. And I'd rather play one of those catch screens over Molina both for defense and offense. And base running.

First Base - Paul Konerko 3/5/1976
2010: 39 HR, .312/.393/.548, .425 wOBA, 4.2 WAR
2011: 32 HR, .273/.361/.496, .372 wOBA

Konerko turns 35 just before this season starts and turned in the second best season (per WAR) of his career in 2010. Konerko parlayed that season into a fresh 3-year, $37.5 million contract with the White Sox. I don't have a joke about the White Sox captain so I suggest you follow @OneyGullien for a good laugh.

Had Konerko not barely qualified, Derek Lee would have made the list since we share a birthday. Also born on September 6th, porn star Raven Riley.

Second Base - Adam Kennedy 1/10/1976
2010: 3 HR, .249/.327/.327, .303 wOBA, 1.0 WAR
2011: 4 HR, .264/.334/.354, .307 wOBA

Bill James might be a little generous with his projection here considering Kennedy only signed a minor league contract with the Mariners this off-season. I'll give Kennedy the nod here unless Joe Morgan is looking to fill his newly acquired free time. Kennedy ended up as the everyday second bagger in Washington after the Nats traded Christian Guzman to Texas before the deadline. He would flail away to that .303 wOBA which only Brandon Wood was in awe of.

Others receiving votes include Omar Vizquel (from The Golden Sombrero) and Tony Lazzeri (from our own Derwood). Lazzeri hit .273/.361/.417 in 1935 and I'm starting to think Derwood didn't understand the question.

Short Stop - Derek Jeter 6/26/1974
2009: 18 HR, .334/.406/.465, .390 wOBA, 7.1 WAR
2010: 10 HR, .270/.340/.370, .320 wOBA, 2.5 WAR
2011: 13 HR, .295/.365/.410, .344 wOBA

Jeter followed the second best season of his career in 2009 with his worst season in 2010. That earned him a new 3-year deal worth $51 million. Jeter will make roughly around $33 million more than Evan Longoria will make over the 6-year deal he signed in 2008. That seems just.

If you think I come off as a little bitter towards Jeter for no apparent reason, I present Exhibit A, B and C. I hate that guy.

Third Base - Alex Rodriguez 7/27/1975
2010: 30 HR, .270/.341/.506, .363 wOBA, 3.9 WAR
2011: 35 HR, .284/.381/.530, .393 wOBA

I assume you've heard of A-Rod by now. He's a pretty good baseball player when he's not yelling at cameramen for filming him eating popcorn at the Super Bowl.

The over 35-year-old third base club is pretty impressive with Chipper Jones and Scott Rolen rounding out this particular Hall of Fame bunch.

Right Field - Ichiro 10/22/1973
2010: 6 HR, 42 SB, .315/.359/.394, .338 wOBA, 4.8 WAR
2011: 7 HR, 30 SB, .316/.361/.391, .339 wOBA

Ichiro isn't showing any signs of slowing down as a 37-year-old and, compared to the other outfielders on this list, can still field his position.

Center Field - Torii Hunter 7/18/1973
2010: 23 HR, .281/.354/.464, .350 wOBA, 3.5 WAR
2011: 23 HR, .272/.340/.457, .346 wOBA

Hunter started 97 games in center in 2010 before being jettisoned to right field for Peter Bourjos' plus glove. Hunter could still man center if push came to shove but the Angels crapped on common sense by trading for Vernon Wells who would probably get the first shot at center if Bourjos' bat doesn't play.

Left Field - Manny Ramirez 5/30/1972
2010: 9 HR, .298/.409/.460, .382 wOBA, 1.6 WAR
2011: 23 HR, .290/.401/.503, .393 wOBA

Manny only played 46 games in left for the Dodgers in 2010 and will spend most of his time as the designated hitter for the Rays in 2011. But I'd rather deal with his drunken-hobo wandering in the outfield to get his bat in the lineup compared to whatever it is that Bobby Abreu does nowadays.

DH - Jim Thome 8/27/1970
2010: 25 HR, .283/.412/.627, .437 wOBA, 3.6 WAR
2011: 17 HR, .245/.384/.498, .384 wOBA

Every time I look up Thome's career stats, I'm stunned. This guy seems to have hit the quietest 589 home runs, .278 AVG, .404 OBP, .559 SLG, .407 wOBA and 73.5 WAR in baseball history.

My boy Vladimir Guerrero is the other option here but despite his resurgent 2010, he's still crippled from the waist down from playing on the painted concrete in Montreal.

Staff Ace - Chris Carpenter 4/27/1975
2010: 3.22 ERA, 3.69 FIP, 3.84 xFIP, 3.7 WAR
2011: 3.06 ERA, 3.27 FIP

Carpenter missed most of 2002 and then almost all (if not all) of 2003, 2007 and 2008. But when he is pitching, he's been fantastic. Carpenter would have been my pick here even if Andy Pettitte didn't retire. But I was really tempted to put Pettitte here and Scott Brosius at third and Chuck Knoblauch at second.

Closer - Mariano Rivera 11/29/1969
2010: 1.80 ERA, 2.81 FIP, 3.65 xFIP, 1.7 WAR
2011: 1.89 ERA, 2.52 FIP

At this point, I'm convinced that Mo Rivera will outlive us all and still be closing for the Yankees in the 2132 Galactic World Series. Strangely enough, Barry Bonds and Ted Williams' frozen head are also on that Yankee team.

Yankees Eliminated, Raising Payroll To $3 Billion

In a fitting turn of events, Alex Rodriguez watched strike three pass him by to end the Yankees season. The Rangers stunned the baseball world and Yankees fans everywhere after they "manhandled" the Bronx Bombers according to Yanks GM Brian Cashman. Cashman wans't exaggerating either. The Rangers outplayed the Yankees in every facet of the game including outhitting them by a hundred points (3.01 to 2.01). Final score: Rangers ($64,810,570) 4, Yankees ($213,359,389) 2.

The Yankees did lose Mark Teixeira midway through Game 4 but his .000/.176/.000 line in the series wasn't exactly lighting the world on fire. A-Rod wanted no part of defeating his former team, hitting for just a .190/.320/.286 line while continuing his anticlutch ways. Derek Jeter was a shell of his post season self and put up a .231/.286/.423 line. Don't worry though, Minka, the Yankees will still give him a shiny new $20 million per year contract.

Speaking of Yankee off-season spending. The Yankees are sure to open up the YES Network's pocketbooks and attack the free agent market with a vengeance. Cliff Lee should be the top priority but prying him away from Texas will probably start around $150 million. The Yanks will most likely be in on the bidding for Carl Crawford or Jayson Werth. Either one of those contracts should be around $100 million (more than that for Crawford, less for Werth). It makes some sense too considering Curtis Granderson is strictly a platoon player (hits lefties with his eyes closed) and Brett Gardner is, dare I say it, their only everyday outfielder.

Of course, everybody assumes those are the moves the Yankees will pursue. One I haven't really heard about is Rafael Soriano. The Rays closer stayed healthy and was down right filthy. The Yanks could use some more bullpen help after ruining the career of Joba Chamberlain and Kerry Wood is an injury time bomb. Soriano will be looking for closer money and a closer role but I'd bet he'd take a big pile of cash from the Yankees. Even if the Yanks don't pursue Soriano, you can count on their ever expansive payroll to continue to grow during the Hot Stove League. Good news Pirates, more free money!

(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

Lunatic Tried To Confront A-Rod On Field

How did I miss this story? I take pride in covering the hard hitting baseball stories like a 300-pound drunk Mets fan falling on a lady. So I apologize for being late on this one. Apparently, the man who rushed onto the field Monday night at Yankee Stadium is a complete whackjob. The man decided that Monday's game was a good time to approach Alex Rodriguez about his relationship with Cameron Diaz. I'm sure it was going to be a very pleasant, well thought out exchange. From the Toronto Sun...

Grim LeRogue -- who legally changed his named from Joe Rogan -- was tackled by security guards after running from the stands and on to the field during the Yankees playoff game against the Texas Rangers.

According to the New York Post, the 33-year-old Bronx native was carrying photos of Rodriguez with an X drawn over his face, a gun pointed at his head and the message: "You have to go bud, you've ruined too many of our white queens."

Sources tell the publication LeRogue has an obsession with the infielder's on-off girlfriend Diaz and held a picture of the actress with the inscription "We will be together soon" during the stunt.

This story is so delightful, I'm considering printing out a copy and framing it. The name change to Grim LeRogue is a pretty good sign of some mental unstableness. But Cameron Diaz being one of "our white queens?" Unless our boy Grim hasn't seen a movie made after The Mask, I'm not sure he can be rehabilitated. He also had a picture of Osama bin Laden with the phrase "I will serve you" and a picture of Whitney Houston that he titled "Whitney Bin Laden." So at least he's an equal opportunity psychopath.

If Grim ever gets out of the Bronx's Lincoln Hospital, where he was taken for a psychiatric evaluation, I really hope he gets 10 minutes of A-Rod's time to plea his case. I'm willing to bet this guy has invented some words that I need to hear.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Wendell Magee Jr. and he's here to remind you that playing left field isn't that hard. Now getting on base, that's a different issue.

Astros 4, Phillies 2 (16). You give Ryan Howard extra innings to play with and something exciting is bound to happen. Howard went 0-7 with 5 strikeouts (more on that later today) and wasn't pleased with his 5th one in the 14th inning. Howard voiced his displeasure and was asked to please leave the game. The ejection moved Raul Ibanez to first base and Roy Oswalt into left field. The ball quickly found Oswalt in the outfield but he made the routine catch. Oh yeah, then the Astros won. Back to the Phillies, Jayson Werth with the great post-game quote...

"I'm not sure what I think about the whole situation," right fielder Jayson Werth said. "I think I'll take a nap, wake up refreshed and pretend the whole thing didn't happen."

Yankees 11, Blue Jays 5. The Yankees, upset at the lack of vowels in Marc Rzepczynski's name, battered the pitcher for 6 runs off of 8 hits including 3 home runs. Then they smacked around Brian Tallet just for fun. Mark Teixeira and Jorge Posada each went 4-5 with home runs while Eduardo Nunez went 1-5 in place of the injured Alex Rodriguez. The Yankees haven't missed A-Rod's offense one bit prompting most New Yorkers to wonder if there's a way to void his contract. I'm pretty sure that centaur painting is grounds for termination.

Cubs 5, Nationals 4. Carlos Zambrano pitched 7.1 innings and gave up 1 run on 5 hits while striking out 8 for the win. Alfonso Soriano hit a 3-run home run. I don't want to alarm anyone but I believe those are signs of the Apocalypse. I'm duct taping sheets of plastic to my windows as we speak. That should keep the zombies out.

Mariners, Red Sox: DNP

Giants 16, Reds 5. Reds' rookie pitchers Travis Wood and Mike Leake combined to take a worse beating than the CEO of BP. Wood gave up 7 runs on 7 hits over 4 innings. Leake followed that up with a "anything you can do, I can eff up even worse" performance. Leake managed to surrender 6 runs on 6 hits in 1 mere inning. Blog favorite Buster Posey went 1-5 with a 3-run home run.

Shot Of The Night: A-Rod's Paying

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

We'll occasionally bring back the shot of the night when someone really causes us to drink for good or ill. Tonight we celebrate. The shot of the night is Slugger's Delight: 1 shot 151 proof rum, 12 oz Rock and Rye® liqueur and it's in honor of Alex Rodriguez.

A-Rod murdered the ball tonight for the Yankees going 4-5 with 3 home runs that laughed at the outfield wall while sailing over it. A-Rod warmed up by crushing a solo shot 412 feet off of Sean O'Sullivan in the 6th inning. The next big fly came off of Kanekoa Texeira in the 7th inning and went 419 feet. But the slugger saved his best performance for Greg Holland in the 9th. A-Rod crushed the 2-0 offering from Holland 439 feet into the Kansas City water falls. Despite my general dislike for all things Yankee, I remain a big time A-Rod supporter. I look forward to covering A-Rod's chase for history even if Bud Selig plans on turning a cold shoulder to the offensive monster.

Honorable Mention: Bobby Wilson
The hitting challenged Angels catcher somehow managed to hit 2 home runs off of Blue Jays pitching prospect Brett Cecil. Meanwhile, Brandon Wood pinch hit and went 0-1 lowering his slash line to .166/.183/.223 continuing to disappoint the Angels, his parents, scouts and yours truly. I've recently reached out to Wood's agent to see if he has any interest signing on with my Wiffle Ball team. We only pay in potato chips but we're prepared to make a very generous offer. Perhaps even sour cream.

Shot Of The Night: Milestone Edition

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Shot of the night is late because I fell asleep last night watching a recorded episode of Shark Week and took my grandpa out to lunch for his 87th birthday today. He's an old school Orioles fan. Even though it's his birthday, I hope Dan Haren shuts out the O's tonight so he'll get off my back. He talks a surprising amount of smack for being close to 90. The shot of the night was a Gold Record: 1 oz gold tequila, 1 splash lime juice, fill with orange juice and it's in honor of Alex Rodriguez.

A-Rod finally hit home run number 600, three years to the day that he hit 500. Finally the long national nightmare is over. I'm actually a big A-Rod fan despite the steroids, the Yankees, the cheating on his wife, the Madonna thing, the centaur painting and whatever this was. A-Rod becomes the youngest player ever to hit 600 home runs and despite a poor season for him, remains on track to become the all time home run king. I'm going to enjoy the chase even though my Barry Bonds arguments about him being top 3 of all time have actually ended relationships. Sorry ladies. A-Rod joins an elite group of 7 hitters ever to reach 600 career homer. Next milestone, Sammy Sosa at 609.

Honorable Mention: Adam Dunn
Dunn went 3-5 with 2 more home runs. That give Dunn 28 for the season and a reasonable amount of time to get to 40. Between 2005 and 2008, Dunn hit exactly 40 home runs for 4 consecutive seasons. Dunn, I think, is still undervalued and his WAR supports that. UZR has some pretty mean things to say about his fielding. But as far as hitting goes, he's the ultimate 3 true outcome player and pretty valuable.

Shot Of The Night

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Tonight's shot of the night is a Grand Slam: 1 1/2 oz Swedish punsch, 3/4 oz dry vermouth, 3/4 oz sweet vermouth. Swedish punsch, from what I gather, is some type of rum thing. Shot of the Night got delayed until this morning because I ended up playing drinking games until 3 am. I don't know why I think I'm still in my early 20's but, hey, when in New Orleans... Anyway, the shot is in honor of Alex Rodriguez.

A-Rod went 2-3 with 2 home runs and 5 RBI. One of the homers was a grand slam. That was A-Rod's third slam of the year and the 21st of his career. That ties him for second all time and 2 behind Lou Gehrig for first. Derwood and I had an hour long conversation the other night about Gehrig and I had to finally move him into my top 5. But that's a post for another time. I've always been an unabashed A-Rod supporter so I'd like to see him stay healthy and assault some records. I do hate the Yankees though, wanted to make that clear.

Honorable Mention: Trevor Cahill
The A's All Star surrendered A-Rod's benchmark slam.

Better Honorable Mention: Johan Santana
While Santana had nothing to do with a grand slam, he did hit a solo shot. Oh yeah, he also threw a 3-hit shutout.

I Want A "Get Off My Mound" T-Shirt

Dallas Braden is kind of back in the news for the third time this season. The first time was because of the altercation Braden had with Alex Rodriguez when the slugger trotted across Braden's mound on his way back to first base. This prompted a war of words between the two which reached its peak when Braden's grandma told A-Rod to "stick it." Nice mouth, grans. Then Braden threw an improbable perfect game. Now he's back in the news because he came out against the A's new "Get Off My Mound" t-shirt referring back to his words during the scuffle with A-Rod.

Obviously Braden is just ashamed of the manner in which he acted, right? Maybe not. The A's didn't get the MLBPA's approval for licensing of the shirt and that means no mention of Braden's name or number. Which means no extra cash for Dallas either. He hasn't mentioned the lack of financial gain but he did express his outrage...

"They're trying to generate revenue, trying to get butts in the seats, I can see that," Braden said. "It's almost like, at what cost do you do that? They didn't have permission. They were told on multiple occasions that, no, it's not a good idea. It's not going to be approved. They just kind of put the horse-blinders on and ran with it."

Braden would go on to argue that the shirt is pitting himself and A-Rod against each other. Of course the shirt wouldn't exist if Braden hadn't coined the phrase while yelling at A-Rod and almost inciting a brawl. So A-Rod has to be pretty miffed too, huh?

"I hope I get a cut," Rodriguez told reporters.

Not only isn't A-Rod upset by the shirt but he broke out in laughter when Robinson Cano sported the shirt before Monday's game against the A's. I reluctantly like Robby Cano a little more now. Great. Also, if anybody in the Oakland area is reading this, I'll take a large.