Happy Birthday Mike Hllywa

It's a good thing we actually got baseball in earlier because otherwise it would look like we just sit around and pat each other on the back here at Off Base Percentage. And believe me, we do way more of that over text messages and Twitter. But I can't let Mike Hllywa's birthday nearly pass without wishing him a happy one filled with empty promises of Carvel Ice Cream cake. Cookiepuss haunts my dreams at night.

Mike, of course, is a crazy Angels fan and can be found writing at Halo Hangout and Gammons Daily and here and probably a few other places. If I wasn't so bad with birthdays despite writing about them frequently, I had planned on getting a Kickstarter together so we could pay Peter Bourjos enough to deliver a singing-cowboy-birthday-telegram. A regular one costs about $90 so I figure Bourjos would do it for, what, like $900? I might be underestimating pro athletes' general dignity by a wide margin. Thanks, Jose Canseco.

On to the birthdays! So, Mike shares a birthday with Zac Hanson of the "MmmBop" famous band Hanson. And, if you know Mike, he's totally a Zac. Ichiro. Jonathan Lipnicki turned 23 and the last Tom Cruise movie I watched was Magnolia. Robinson Cano. Jesse Tyler Ferguson, now of Modern Family fame, was in The Class with Lizzy Caplan who was in Party Down with Adam Scott who is in Parks and Recreation which was created by Michael Schur who is Ken Tremendous from FJM and gave us this...

I could go on but I wanted to share the amazing t-shirt, which hopefully he markets and sells, that his mother-in-law made for his birthday...

I approve. Happy birthday, bud.

Happy Birthday Mike Hllywa

Newest Off Base Percentage staff writer Mike Hllywa turns an appropriate looking age today and we'd like to take a moment to celebrate. Sure, that's why there's vodka in our orange juice this morning. I discovered the young Hllywa on Twitter and developed him into the fine writer before you today. Is how I'm going to tell it if he makes it big time before begging him for a job.

Hllywa is a devoted Angels fan and husband. For now. I've seen how much time he spends on Twitter. Sorry, Mrs. Hllywa. You can read Mike's Angels thoughts over at Halo Hangout and, of course, the quality nonsense here. Follow him on Twitter @mike_hllywa to help us convince Tom advanced metrics aren't hocus pocus or some other phrase from yesteryear.

I tried to get Mike's mancrushes Nick Morande and Kaleb Cowart to pillow fight for his birthday but only managed to score more restraining orders. So, your Fudgie the Whale is in the mail.

Mike shares his birthday with Robinson Cano, Ichiro and Jimmie Foxx. Also, the underrated Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show, Saul Goodman), Jeff Goldblum and Christopher Lloyd. Points are deducted for Carlos Mencia. Overall, a pretty good birthday, um, day. I share my birthday with Vince DiMaggio and Swoosie Kurtz.

Anyway, happy birthday, bud.