Monday, December 26, 2011

Happy Boxing Day/Dick Burns Birthday

I think this site was invented for that kind of post title. If you're anything like me (god help you), you're still a little hungover from celebrating Rickey Henderson's birthday yesterday. But there's no rest for the weary. Today is Boxing Day. Banks are closed all across Canadia but I still have to work for some reason. *shakes fist at Obama*

I still don't really understand what Boxing Day is nor do I care to read the Wikipedia entry for it. I'll continue to assume it's Christmas part two. Shame on you for not getting me anything. And I went through all the trouble to find this sweet Simpsons/Rocky Balboa mashup trailer for you...

Happy Boxing Day. As long as I'm handing out happies, Dick Burns would have turned 148 today. It's Ozzie Smith's birthday too but his name doesn't make me giggle like a 10-year-old. Burns pitched for the Detroit Wolverines in 1883, the Cincinnati Outlaw Reds in 1884 and the St. Louis Maroons in 1885. He continues to be popular with the dry-humping high school crowd.

We took a long stroll down the path to that joke. While I'm not especially proud of it, I'll always cherish that journey with you guys. Merry Dick Burns day to you and your loved ones.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Site News: Please Bear With Us

With wordplay like that, I'm not surprised this site is under foreclosure. You might not have noticed, my dear astute readers, but I've been somewhat missing in action over the past month or so. Your uncle Derwood has abandoned us and after an exhaustive search, I found him taking pictures of clothing left on the side of GA 400. I'm afraid he's a lost cause now.

As for me, your esteemed editor, I've been hanging out over at FanSided writing about the Angels at Halo Hangout and the Braves at Tomahawk Take. It's a little less nonsense than I'm used to so I've been mulling over what to do with Off Base.

I've decided to keep my little blog here and fulfill all of my nonsense needs by covering the absurd stories that pretend-journalism doesn't allow otherwise. So stay tuned for more porn star and deer antler spray stories. They hold a soft spot in my heart after all.

For real baseball news and opinions, check me out everywhere else. Thanks. And picnic bear wants to know if you're going to finish that sandwich.