Corey Kluber: BBA Walter Johnson Award Winner

Some decisions in life are easy, some are not. Brushing your teeth in the morning is an easy decision because rotted teeth are gross, and nobody likes rotted teeth. Therefore, you get up, every morning, squeeze some Crest onto a toothbrush and scrub scrub scrub. Showering is an easy decision. Nobody wants to smell you, not even you. See, easy decisions. There were a lot of decisions like this that we at Off Base Percentage encountered while filling out the ballots for the BBA Awards. There were also some not as easy decisions in our way. One of them being the Walter Johnson Award for the American League. This was not a get up and brush your teeth decision. This was a "Do I want steak or chicken tonight?" decision.

2013 Team Awards: Cleveland Indians

In order to review the 2013 season, the crackpot staff of Off Base is handing out awards to each Major League team. Please send us $19.95 for the shipping and handling of your team's Hello Kitty stickers awards. Here are the Most Valuable Player, Least Valuable Player, Cy Young, Cy Yuck, Rookie of the Year and Reliever of the Year for the Indians. 

*Guidelines, prices and participation may vary by author*

MVP: Jason Kipnis
As a long time fan of Kipnis (say three-ish years), I can't say enough good things about him. So why even bother starting. Terry Francona was a very close second for me. After two World Series Championships and one infamous Popeyes chicken and beer 7-20 September collapse, Francona spent one year killing it as analyst for ESPN before joining the Indians as manager for 2013. The Indians went from 68-94 in 2012 to 92-70 in 2013, including a brief appearance in the one game playoff. While I believe a bad manager makes a bigger difference to a team than a good manager, Francona has to deserve some credit for the turnaround. He's one of the more progressive thinkers as far as managers go and one of the handful of difference makers in the skipper ranks. While I'm back-patting, let's give Francona and his staff credit for polishing a turd into Scott Kazmir 2.0 (two point oh?).

LVP: Lonnie Chisenhall
Chisenhall, like Kipnis, debuted for the Indians in 2011. Chisenhall, like Kipnis, was a top prospect for the Indians in 2011. In fact, Chisenhall was the Indians' top prospect in 2011 according to Baseball America, followed by Alex White and then Kipnis. Chisenhall, unlike Kipnis, has yet to live up to his lofty former ranking. With a 0.5 fWAR, Chisenhall wasn't the worst player on the Indians. This is a team that gave Mark Reynolds 384 plate appearances and over 300 innings at both first base and third base. Reynolds can barely field a clean inning at DH. But Chisenhall hit a paltry .225/.270/.398 in 308 plate appearance and even got shipped to Triple-A for almost a month in mid-May. He just turned 25 in October so I guess there's still time for him to be less-not-so-good.

Cy Young: Justin Masterson
As much fun as it would be to write about Ubaldo Jiminez's big bounce back season or Danny Salazar's electric rookie debut or even challenge myself to write something nice about Scott Kazmir, Masterson was the ace of the staff and turned in a fine performance. His 3.45 ERA and 3.35 FIP were improvements over his 2012 numbers (4.93 and 4.16) but it was his strikeout rate that jumped drastically from 6.94 K/9 in 2012 to 9.09 K/9 in 2013. I doubt the strikeout rate is sustainable but that's why I get fun nicknames like "Debbie Downer" and "Your beard makes you look homeless."

Cy Yuck: Brett Myers
Yes, Chris Perez was awful. According to Fangraphs, Perez was worth -$4.7MM in 2013. Quite the bargain for only $7.3MM. But Perez at least stretched his negative value over 54.0 innings. Brett Myers consolidated his terribleness to three starts and one long relief appearance in April. In those 21.1 innings, Myers gave up 29 hits, five walks, 19 earned runs and 10 home runs. Myers got $7MM of his own which I assume he's already used on Kleenex and therapy. His 2014 club option is probably in jeopardy.

ROY: Yan Gomes
There's no way he can show up on ROY ballots, right? He's not ROY eligible but that hasn't stopped voters before.

ROY: Danny Salazar
Salazar dazzled in his debut striking out seven Blue Jays in 6.0 innings. Then he struck out 10 Tigers in 7.2 innings. He finished with an 11.25 K/9 and 3.16 FIP in 52.0 innings. So, there's some reason for excitement.

Reliever of the Year: Cody Allen
In 70.1 innings, the 24-year-old posted a 2.43 ERA and 2.99 FIP with an 11.26 K/9. With Chris Perez and Vinnie Pestano giving the back of the bullpen a flavorful smell of eggs cooked in hot garbage, Allen is a name for fantasy players to file away. Steamer is already projecting 28 saves for 2014.

Trevor Bauer Throws A Golden Huarache

So far, Trevor Bauer's adjustment to life in pro ball from UCLA is off to a much worse start than Keifer Sutherland's television career after 24. Have you seen Touch? Yeah, neither has anyone else. Making his Cleveland Indians debut after the Diamondbacks jettisoned Bauer (Trevor) for cents on the dollar, the 22-year-old pitcher turned in a performance that led me to believe I could have been an on base monster in the majors. Except, you know, I cramped up typing that sentence.

Before we get to Bauer's first inning where he was (allegedly) blindfolded and spun around a bat 10 times, I should explain the title of this post. I've decided to take it upon myself to name a stat that nobody is tracking because..you're welcome. A Golden Huarache is when a pitcher walks four batters in an inning. A huarache is a Mexican sandal. Sounds reasonable, right? What Bauer did, however, was throw a Natural Golden Huarache or walk the first four batters he faced. Let's see how the magic happened...

Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Desmond Jennings looking. Oh, I suppose all of these will be looking. I'm used to covering Golden Sombreros. Jennings took the first pitch for a strike before getting four consecutive balls. Four Consecutive Balls is also the name of a male strip club in New Orleans. So I've heard.

Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Matt Joyce. Bauer got ahead in the count 0-2 before falling behind 3-2. Joyce fouled two off before taking the walk.

Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Ben Zobrist. On four pitches. Here's my artist's rendition of the at bat...



Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Evan Longoria. This was actually a nine pitch battle because Longoria swung at stuff having clearly not watched the first three plate appearances by his teammates. But he managed to get that sweet bases loaded walk RBI anyway.

Bauer got out of the inning after James Loney fouled out on the first pitch he saw, Yunel Escobar lined out and Joyce was out at home. All said, Bauer threw 105 pitches (59 strikes) over 5.0 innings giving up just three runs on two hits and seven walks. The injured and often terrible Scott Kazmir can breathe easy, unless that strains his back, considering his fifth spot in the Indians rotations appears safe.

But it does raise the question of what is wrong with Trevor Bauer. Is he masking an injury? Is he just not that good? Is his pregame warmup stupid? Did his daughter get caught in a cougar trap in season two? No, that would be ridiculous. Could it be the dreaded yips? Because I hear Chuck Knoblauch holds a camp that teaches you how to not cry after throwing a baseball 50 feet from its intended target.

If I had to guess, Bauer probably just needs glasses and to stop sleeping with Corbin Bernsen's wife.

Holy Baseball Trades Batman

"I got traded to a winner. REJOICE!"

Earlier this week, the Royals and Rays pulled off an "out of nowhere trade" swapping James  Shields and Wil  Myers (among others). Not to be outdone, another mediocre at best AL Central team went and made their own blockbuster trade. And oh, did they ever trade. Word leaked onto twitter via the usual sources (Rosenthal, Heyman, Olney) that the Indians, Reds and Diamondbacks had completed a nine player trade sending personal secretaries into a maddening frenzy. Moving parts, moving trucks, moving animals. At least it's fun for us. Suckers.

Terry Francona Ready to Bring Bubble Gum Wads back to Dugouts.

Once a manager, always a manager I suppose. News broke earlier today that Terry Francona was among two acknowledged candidates for the open managerial position in Cleveland. I can only assume that they are waiting to publicly announce my candidacy once they have realized that my ability to chew and maintain substantial amounts of bubble gum far surpasses that of Tito.

That's right Terry, I said I can chew more gum than you. What of it?