Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Kevin Flora and he's here to remind me that the 1995 Angels' season was more soul crushing than this year.

Hey kids, I'm in charge of Jobu again while Derwood is hard at work. And by work, I mean hunting empty cans in downtown Atlanta to finance his box wine addiction. Let's take a look at a few of yesterday's highlights while I try to contain my excitement for tonight's fight between Jacare and Tim Kennedy...

Rangers 2, Orioles 0. I was relying on the Buck Showalter express too much to help save the Angels season and it was no match for C.J. Wilson. The former set-up man pitched 8.2 innings of 3-hit shutout ball while striking out 12. Neftali Feliz would relieve Wilson and throw 4 pitches to pick up his 30th save of the season. Nick Markakis and Ty Wiggington combined to go 0-6 with 5 strikeouts.

Mets 7, Pirates 2. Sweet sassy molassy get out the checkbook and pay grandma for the rub down! The Pirates are now officially participating in their 18th consecutive losing season. In 1992 the Pirates had their last winning record. Also in 1992, George H.W. Bush vomited on Japan's Prime Minister, Mike Tyson was convicted of rape, Silence of the Lambs won Best Picture and swept the Academy Awards, John Gotti was sentenced to life in prison, Johnny Carson retired from the Tonight Show and Brett Favre made his first start with the Packers. In other 1992 baseball news, I hit a back door Wiffle Ball slider out of my backyard into the neighbors' above ground pool.

Mariners 6, Yankees 0. Felix Hernandez keeps dominating in his quest to contend for the Cy Young with around 10 wins. He struck out 11 in his 8 innings of 4-hit shutout ball. A-Rod returned to the lineup for 30 seconds. Rodriguez grounded out on the only pitch he saw and "felt something pull" before exiting the game. There's a possibility A-Rod might have a DL stint in his future. Now who wishes they didn't let Andy Marte go? Oh, nobody?

Phillies 1, Nationals 0. Roy Halladay keeps cruising. He allowed 7 hits and 3 free passes over his 7 innings but he struck out 5 and didn't give up a run. His 16-8 record and 2.16 ERA have everything Cy Young voters will be looking for towards the end of the season. Kevin Mench: 0-1 with a strikeout.

White Sox, Royals: DNP

Wild And Careless Trade Speculation

In full disclosure, I have no inside information or contacts. Unless you count the left field security guard at Turner Field. Even then, Rodney can really only tell me what the bat boy schedule looks like. Since we're a general baseball blog, I also don't know your team's specific needs and minor league system as well as you do. But let's do some wild and careless trade speculation anyway.



Adam Dunn
The slugger finally gets dealt from the Nats to the White Sox for Edwin Jackson. I know this one isn't exactly wild or careless but I promise they're coming. I don't like Edwin as much as the Nats do but then again neither does anyone else but his parents. Dunn loves Washington for some reason and could be brought back in the offseason.

Cody Ross
While not available, he gets dealt to the Braves for a prospect package built around one of the Braves top 10 pitching prospect. I don't understand why teams are fawning over Ross and his 94 OPS+ but I guess he can play all 3 outfield spots. The Braves could use another outfielder after sending Nate McLouth to AAA for being as terrible as we all expected.

Carlos Zambrano
The Cubs trade their clinically insane former ace to the South Side where Kenny Williams doesn't mind bringing on bad contracts of formerly good pitchers. Zambrano is so bad though, the Cubs will still eat a good bit of the contract and receive only a broken pitching machine and a tarp that has several gaping holes in it.

Scott Downs
This one has also been rumored but seems wild. Toronto deals Downs to the Yankees for Joba Chamberlain. The Yanks would basically be replacing Joba's role with Downs. Toronto would be buying low again with Joba and maybe they could give him another turn at starting. They couldn't screw him up any worse than the Yankees did.

Mike Lowell
The Red Sox finally deal the oft-injured hitter to my backyard Wiffle Ball team. We were short on power and were convinced he could still play third. We end up being wrong and regret sending the 80 buffalo wings and gallon of daquiris to Boston.

Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui
The Angels send the pair to the Yankees for old time's sake. After the Yanks acquired Lance Berman, they decide to go get all of the remaining old players who can't play the outfield anymore. In exchange, the Angels receive a ball signed by Mickey Mantle and George Costanza.

Prince Fielder
The Brewers trade the massive slugger to the Angels for all of their minor league pitchers who weren't drafted over the past two years. The Angels swoop in out of nowhere again and pay the big fella arbitration next season while he DH's and Morales comes back to play first base. The Angels forgo signing Fielder to an extension after he rediscovers his love of meat and leaves a wake of destruction at every In-N-Out Burger in Southern California.

Wilson Betemit, Andy Marte
Are not only traded for each other but are then immediately traded back for each other. Derwood writes 2,000 words about it.

Ted Lilly
Despite being bankrupt and not allowed to add any payroll, the Rangers swing yet another deal to add Lilly to their rotation. Then sign him to a massive extension. I never know what they're doing down there.

Andy Marte Is Not Good At Third Base

I'm not entirely sure how accurate that is because UZR has him all over the place for his career at third. But I like to throw out blanket statements, so there. Andy Marte summed up the past couple of Indians' seasons in the first inning against the Red Sox tonight. Marte managed to commit three errors almost effortlessly. Or exactly effortlessly. This is the first time a player has committed three errors in one inning since 8/30/2007.

Marte's first error came of the bat of Kevin Youkilis. Marte bobbled the ball allowing Youk to reach first. Later in the inning, Marte booted a ball hit by Mike Cameron and, after tracking it down, threw it wildly to first. The ol' two errors in one play. Tough to top unless you can manage to have the ball ricochet off your head for a homer.

Marte did go 2 for 3 with an RBI and a run scored before he was pinch hit for in his first game back since returning from the disabled list. Maybe he should have spent an extra day on the DL. Oh, and Derwood, being a Yankees fan and all, wanted me to let you know that Andy Marte is one of his favorite players.