Tony Gwynn Wants To Buy Padres, Not Pay Taxes

Tony Gwynn was the ideal franchise player. He spent his entire career with the San Diego Padres, slash lined .338/.388/.459 and was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2007. Plus he had those chubby cheeks that your grandma was just dying to squeeze. While Gwynn never finished higher than third in MVP voting (1984), he was the last guy to seriously flirt with .400 when he hit .394 in 1994. Anthony is currently the head coach of San Diego State (where I teach creative napping in the fall) but he appears to have some other irons in the fire.

Gwynn is rumored to be partnered with movie producer Thomas Tull in an effort to buy his former Padres club. The team is definitely up for grabs and Forbes believes it will sell for more than their $458 million estimated value. And Gwynn's group might be able to make that happen, unless Bud Selig needs a letter of recommendation from the IRS.

Gwynn might owe the government $400,000 from missed taxes in 2003, 2007 and 2009. Which I believe were his relapse years from his In 'N Out addiction. It's hard to fill out paperwork with Animal Style all over your fingers.

I don't know what Tony Gwynn's baseball windfall is but I doubt he raked in enough money to go halfsies on a $500 million franchise. Thomas Tull, on the other hand, might be burning money for sport. I don't know what executive producers do for movies but I assume they make a ton of cash and get to pick out the deli meat for the sandwich table. And Tull has picked out smoked turkey for some pretty high grossing flicks. Let's pretend he was super hammered when someone asked him to make Jonah Hex.

The Dark Knight, The Hangover, Inception, The Town and The Hangover II had to pocket Tull a little coin. And he might be able to buy San Diego from California after he cashes his check from The Dark Knight Rises.

Tull might even have enough money to cover Gwynn's taxes for the "good will ownership guy" and buy the San Diego Chicken back from KFC. Sadly, he might already be extra crispy and part of a Famous Bowl.

Red Sox Get Gonzalez After Two Year Pursuit

While it seemed as inevitable as the Yankees re-signing Derek Jeter, the Red Sox finally made the deal to land their coveted slugging first baseman in Adrian Gonzalez. The Padres won a surprising 90 games in 2010 but rode out their plan to ship Gonzalez off before he became a free agent after the 2011 season. The Padres made the right move in dealing Gonzalez in the off-season to collect a greater haul of prospects and this most certainly puts the writing on the wall for the future of Heath Bell in San Diego. Although, the Padres might wait until the trade deadline approaches to move their closer because there should be more teams bidding on arms for a playoff push.

What This Means For Adrian Gonzalez
There is one and only one drawback for Gonzalez in this deal. He no longer gets to live in San Diego. The Red Sox are and always have been the ideal landing spot for the slugger. In his five years of playing half of his games in the cavernous Petco Park, he still managed to hit 161 home runs and average a .288/.374/.514 line. With Fenway's short porch in right field, Gonzalez should see a nice tick upwards in his slugging numbers. He also becomes a very rich man. The Sox will, presumably, extend him seven years for around $170 million.

What This Means For Boston
The Red Sox have coveted Gonzalez for two years after it became clear that the Padres had no shot at retaining him with free agency looming. Plugging Gonzalez in at first will move Kevin Youklis to third while urging Adrian Beltre not to let the door hit him on the ass on the way out. The Sox also had to hand over a nice package of prospects from a deep if not great system. Casey Kelly, Anthony Rizzo and Reymond Fuentes are three of the top six or seven prospects in Boston's system plus San Diego will receive what's behind curtain number three in a player to be named later. The move certainly sparks a fun debate about which infield is better between the Sox and the Yanks. I figure Jeter and Marco Scuturo are about a wash.

What This Means For San Diego
The Padres managed to not get all delusional after last season's surprising push for the playoffs and kept their game plan on track. It must have been tempting to take another run with Gonzalez and move him at the deadline if they fell back to earth. But they made the smart move and dealt him when they could get the most bang for their lack of bucks. In Casey Kelly, they get Boston's top pitching prospect who was already pitching at Double A as a 20-year-old. Anthony Rizzo might be the heir apparent to Gonzalez at first base. As a 21-year-old in Double A, he hit 20 home runs and a .263/.334/.481 line. Reymond Fuentes is a toolsy outfielder and the cousin of Carlos Betran. At just 19-years-old, he stole 42 bases during his A ball season. The Padres will certainly deal Heath Bell at some point during the season to continue their youth movement.

Manny Jettisoned From Mannywood

The Dodgers have agreed to send Manny Ramirez to the White Sox for a player to be named later or not. From what I understand, the Dodgers might kick in some cash to cover the $3.825 million due to Manny over the remainder of the season to receive a prospect in return or they might just allow Manny to go to Chicago on a straight waiver claim. John Heyman (via Twitter) seems to think the latter is the more likely outcome. This appears to be the Dodgers waiving the white flag on the season as they are 10 games back of division leading San Diego. What a bunch of jerks San Diego is with all of their perfect weather and winning record.

Manny is in the stretch drive of a 2-year, $45 million contract. When healthy, Manny is still among the best hitters in the league with a .311/.405/.510 line. Unfortunately, playing in the National League forced him to strap on the leather and attempt to field. UZR/150 has him at his usual comical rate of -19.1 but he shouldn't have to play much outfield in Chicago.

This is the typical bold move Kenny Williams makes for the White Sox as they make their push for the playoffs. Last year Williams traded for Jake Peavy's massive contract on the wrong side of his production level. Peavy had season-ending surgery in July. Williams made a similar waiver claim last year picking up Alex Rios' ridiculous contract. The Rios deal doesn't look as insane this year. He's hitting .288/.335/.463 and his 2.9 WAR makes him worth around $11.7 million compared to the $10.2 million he's making. Of course, that contract just gets worse over the next four years so the jury is still out on that one.

Manny will be a free agent at the end of the year and is usually at his best behavior when he first arrives to a new team. This should be a good move for the White Sox as they're only 4.5 games back from the Twins. If they're only just picking up the remaining salary, the deal looks even better.