Trout Jersey Sells Big on eBay, MTD is Beside Himself

Poor MJ. Mike Trout's offseason for him has been the equivalent to that one Christmas where his parents promised him a new ride and surprised him with a one month bus pass. Next stop, the bar.

First, Trout got snubbed in the Gold Glove Award voting (Adam Jones? Really?). Luckily, the BBWAA got something right and unanimously voted Trout as the Rookie of the Year. Then they undid all that good in the MVP vote. Furniture, mirrors, stoneware, nothing was safe. Many hours of therapy, along with the viewing of this video, had Mr. Lloyd almost back to normal. Almost.

Derek Jeter Dabbles In Delusion

I'm a big fan of delusion, it's why I watch the American Idol tryouts. Delusion is also why I keep writing this blog. I fashion myself as the Hunter S. Thompson of baseball writing who never leaves the basement. I also figure Johnny Depp will play me in the movie adaptation of my life entitled Fear and Loathing With No WiFi. It's just going to be Depp drinking and smoking in a basement while reading FanGraphs for two hours. I don't have high hopes for it being a summer blockbuster.

Anyway, this post isn't about me because if the rumors are true, Derek Jeter is having his own little bout of delusion. According to a John Heyman tweet, Jeter might be looking for a six year deal from the Yankees...

jeter could take awhile. #yanks may be thinking 2-3 yrs. but industry sources suggest he could ask to stay 'til hes 42 (6 yrs), a la arod.

The 36-year-old "short stop" had one of his better seasons in 2009 and one of his worst in 2010. Maybe he rebounds some from this year's .270/.340/.370 line but I doubt he's ever returning to within a mile of his 2009 .334/.406/.465 line. His defensive shortcomings at short have been and will continue to be a liability until/if he is convinced to move to an outfield spot. Even then, I have no idea how effective he'll be on defense but his bat certainly won't be worthy of a corner outfield spot.

The Yanks seem to have no choice but to re-sign the face of their franchise but giving him six years is a joke. Three years sounds like a mistake. It's a good thing I'm not a Yankees fan because I'll be laughing about whatever the outcome is for at least the next few seasons.

One final Jeter note: Minka Kelly. That is all.

Vlad Was Terrible In RF, As Expected

In what was a rough night for most Rangers, Vlad Guerrero butchered right field like the no-kneed, no-backed 35-year-old that he is. Don't get me wrong, I still love Vladdy even though he defected from my beloved Halos to the division rival Rangers but that man has no business picking up a glove anymore. And everybody but Vlad and Ron Washington knows it. Vlad served as the Rangers' DH for most of the season and would be better equipped coming off the bench to pinch hit instead of roaming triples alley in San Francisco like a deer that was just hit by an 18-wheeler.

Both recorded errors came in the 8th inning when he whiffed on a ball hit by Edgar Renteria that rolled to the wall and juggled a ball hit by Freddy Sanchez in the Rangers' bullpen. It was the equivalent of watching an octogenarian try to use a cell phone, lots of confusion and inevitable errors. Guerrero didn't look all that great when not making errors either. I think we all know who's to blame for Vlad's steep decline in fielding and general walking around ability. That's right, the Montreal Expos. They really should have sprung for some turf in that stadium instead of just spray painting the concrete green.

The simple and obvious answer for the Rangers is to plug David Murphy into the outfield rotation and sit Vlad when they play in San Fran, especially against righties. Murphy hit .294/.364/.472 against right handers this season compared to Vlad's .287/.328/.432 line against northpaws. They face another one tonight in Matt Cain. I expect Washington to make the smart move here and switch them out because I'm delusional and assume that the Rangers' skipper reads this blog.

Random Vlad Guerrero story. I had an ex-girlfriend who used to watch 100+ Angels games per season with me and she bought me an authentic Vlad jersey for my birthday. She got it off of Ebay but had no idea how sizes work. So now I have a size 60 jersey that I could use as a blanket. I don't think 6'5 Vlad could even wear it.

Happy Labor Day Or Happy Birthday To Me!

I'm sure there is some reason behind Labor Day (please don't email me, I'll google it if I really want to know) but for most of us it's day off of work so we can eat, drink and play Wiffle Ball. It's basically the end of summer Fourth of July. For me, however, it's also occasionally my birthday. On this special day, I like to imagine that you're all celebrating me. But I have a massive ego (that's what she said) and I'm wildly delusional. So while you're trying to figure out how to wrap that steak in hot dogs, let's take a look at my birthday game plan...

1. Finish writing this while enjoying a delicious breakfast of Popeye's fried chicken and scotch. It both warms and stops my heart.

2. Shave my arm hair for a more wind resistant Wiffle Ball bat swing.

3. Apply Bryce Harper/Ultimate Warrior eye black. Do push up to psych myself up.

4. Nap.

5. Put sheets in the washing machine, I got eye black everywhere.

6. Head over to the party house/Wiffle Ball backyard.

7. Drink more rum than Captain Morgan.

8. Strike out 12 with my devastating riser.

9. Declare war on Vermont.

10. Hit on a fire plug I mistook for a short redhead.

Then I'll probably pass out about three feet from the couch. Jealous?

You're welcome for the day off and celebrate my birthday responsibly. No drinking and driving kids. Uncle MTD will be too drunk too bail you out of jail. I've been informed I'm not allowed back on the Internet today so I'll see you guys tomorrow when I manage to get my eyes to function.

Hunter Gets Four Games For Ball Tossing Tantrum

Torii Hunter started the day penciled in the Angels' lineup card in the four hole with that still strange looking RF next to his name. But as the day progressed, Hunter's name was removed from the line and replaced by the much less productive Juan Rivera. The speculation was that Hunter was facing a suspension for losing his cool after getting ejected last night for arguing a strikeout call. After being tossed, Hunter launched a bag of balls onto the field from the dugout.

Apparently, that kind of behavior is good enough for a 4 game suspension. The suspension couldn't have come at a worse time for the Angels and Torii Hunter. While the Angels are desperately trying to hang in the AL West division race at 9.5 games out, Hunter has been scorching hot in August. In the first 5 games of the month, Hunter has a pair of home runs to go with a .550/.571/.950 line. I know 5 games means nothing in terms of sample size but a hot streak has to start somewhere.

In the meantime, Hunter will be replaced by some mixture of Juan Rivera and Reggie Willits. Rivera has seemingly given up on trying to be good at baseball this season mixing a .319 wOBA with a -3.9 UZR. Unfortunately for Angels' fans, that's the good news. Willits is sporting a .300 wOBA and his UZR is just a slightly better but still not good -0.6. You'd think the little, scrappy white kid would be a better player, huh?

I realize the Angels have no real shot at the playoffs this season. According to Cool Standings, the Angels only have a 2.1% chance of winning the West. I'm no scientist but that doesn't sound promising. It's a good thing I'm wildly delusional though. Go Halos!