Grady Sizemore's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Starting in 2005, Grady Sizemore was one of the most exciting young players in baseball and looked like a future MVP. A legit 30-30 guy, Sizemore posted a 5.8 WAR in 2005, 8.0 in 2006, 6.2 in 2007 and 7.4 in 2008. In 2009, injuries started derailing his career. He made it to the plate just 140 time in 2010 and, with one DL trip in the books, ZiPS projects 378 plate appearances for 2011. And he wasted 4 of them on Sunday. But I feel bad for Grady so here's a sad dog wearing a sombrero.

Top 2nd: Sizemore struck out swinging against Jeremy Hellickson. To be fair, Hellickson had some pretty good stuff.

Top 4th: Sizemore struck out swinging against Hellickson again.

Top 7th: Sizemore struck out swinging against Hellickson. Sizemore struck out 3 times, the same way against the same pitcher which is an MTD Hat Trick. Why isn't this catching on yet? Somebody get Baseball Tonight on the phone.

Top 9th: Sizemore struck out looking against Cesar Ramos. Sizemore watched 3 straight pitches to end the game.

Marlon Byrd's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

At least Marlon Byrd didn't commit one of the four errors that led to the Reds seven unearned runs on Tuesday. Not to be outdone by his teammates sloppy play though, Byrd managed to strikeout four times, seeing just 13 pitches. Dude was clearly in a hurry to get home to see who died on Glee. What? Oh no, the only reason I know about Glee is because I read Warming Glow.

Top 1st: Byrd struck out swinging against Edinson Volquez. Three pitches.

Top 4th: Byrd struck out swinging against Volquez. Three pitches.

Top 6th: Byrd struck out swinging against Volquez. Four pitches. He accidentally forgot to swing at one of the pitches and took a ball. But it was an MTD Hat Trick. He struck out three times, the same way, against the same pitcher.

Top 8th: Byrd struck out swinging against Jordan Smith. Three pitches.

Juan Rivera's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

How about a little exercise in futility, kids?

Player A: 152 PA, 4 HR, .183 BA, .224 OBP, .303 SLG, .233 wOBA, -0.3 WAR
Player B: 137 PA, 2 HR, .217 BA, .314 OBP, .283 SLG, .277 wOBA, 0.2 WAR

I think we can agree that these are two terrible offensive players. Of course, Player A is making, for the sake of a round number, about $20 million more this year than Player B. Player A is Vernon Wells who recently hit the disabled list with an acute case of suck that has spread throughout his body. While Player B is Juan Rivera who the Blue Jays DH and bat cleanup to "protect" baseball's best hitter Jose Bautista. I think this sums up where these players are in their careers...



Rivera set out to prove that sound effect correct Saturday night. Let's go to the tape...

Top 1st: Rivera struck out swinging against Nick Blackburn. It was a strike 'em out, throw 'em out with Bautista involved so I'll, begrudgingly, give Rivera a little benefit of the doubt on this one.

Top 3rd: Rivera struck out swinging against Blackburn again. No excuses this time.

Top 6th: Rivera struck out swinging against Blackburn. This, new readers, is what I like to call the MTD Hat Trick. That's when a player strikes out three times, the same way, against the same pitcher. It happened last year way more than I thought it would. But still, tell your friends. I'm trying to make it a thing.

Top 8th: Rivera struck out swinging against Matt Capps.

Credit where it's due, Rivera had the decency to get the Golden Sombrero in before extra innings so it doesn't feel tainted.

Pat Burrell's World Series Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

I thought I was finished writing up Golden Sombreros for the year but I must have forgotten that Pat Burrell was still on a Major League roster that was actually in the post season. Burrell, who plays a bizarre left field, has struggled a bit in the World Series so far to the tune of a .000/.182/.000 line. He brought out the big bat last night and failed to do anything with it in the Giants 4-2 loss. Let's take a look at Burrell's night of futility, right after we take a look at this dog in a mini-sombrero...

Ah, that's better.

Top 1st: Burrell struck out swinging against Colby Lewis. Burrell, ever the master of efficiency, swung and missed thrice while watching only one pitch go for a ball.

Top 4th: Burrell struck out swinging against Lewis again. This time he watched two strikes and went down swinging at the third pitch. Very effective.

Top 7th: Burrell struck out swinging against Lewis for the MTD Hat Trick. The coveted MTD Hat Trick is acquired when a batter strikes out three times, the same way against the same pitcher. I thought that was a pretty rare occurrence, I was wrong.

Top 9th: Burrell struck out swinging against Neftali Feliz. Feliz finally made a World Series appearance and all he did was retire the side while striking out a pair. Who knew Feliz was a dominant reliever?

Jose Guillen's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

This is Jose's third Golden Sombrero of the season but the first since the inception of Off Base and first as a Giant. Guillen has been everything the Royals thought he would be after they traded him to the Giants for a Whole Foods gift card. Guillen is hitting .304/.350/.375 with a home run and 15K/2BB in 60 plate appearances with the Giants. But he does seem to have a low stuff-thrown/confrontation ratio so far hovering around a 0.8 ST/C.

Guillen went 0-4 with 4 strikeouts yesterday while DH-ing standing in right field. Blog favorite Buster Posey hit his 11th homer of the season and, while it would be more fun to write about him, let's take a look at Guillen's day at the dish...

Top 1st: Guillen struck out looking against Ted Lilly.

Top 4th: Guillen struck out looking against Lilly again. Lily had him mesmerized by his calm presence on the mound. Guillen demands a violent delivery!

Top 7th: Guillen struck out looking against Lilly for the MTD Hat Trick. He struck out 3 times, the same way, against the same pitcher. Why isn't this catching on?

Top 9th: Guillen struck out swinging against Jonathan Broxton.

Mark Reynolds' Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

My old friend Mark Reynolds somehow managed to go over a month (6/26) without striking out 4 times in one game. He has managed to skyrocket his batting average from .209 to .217 since then though. This is Reynolds' 4th Sombrero since this birth of this blog and actually only the 4th of the season. Thanks for saving them all for me Mark. Reynolds went 0-4 with 4 strikeouts so it's time to celebrate.

Any time Reynolds gets a Sombrero, I have a little tradition around here. I bring out my donkey wearing a sombrero and we get drunk on cheap tequila. Then we either fist fight in the backyard or go try to pick up some broads. He's quite the ladies donkey.

But before we get to that, let's take a look at Mark's trips to the plate...

Top 2nd: Reynolds struck out swinging against Hisanori Takahashi. He took 2 balls before swinging at the next 3 pitches because that's how Mark Reynolds rolls.

Top 4th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Hisanori Takahashi. He took 2 balls before swinging at the next 3 pitches because that's how Mark Reynolds rolls. That was not a typo.

Top 6th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Takahashi. This is what I have dubbed the MTD Hat Trick. That's when a player strikes out 3 times, the same way, against the same pitcher. It seems to be less rare than I had originally assumed.

Top 7th: Reynolds struck out looking against Bobby Parnell. Looking, eh? I guess there's nothing wrong with diversifying.

I can't tell you how disappointed I was that he didn't get another plate appearance.

Pedro Alvarez's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Mr. Alvarez, we meet in this segment so soon. I touted your arrival on June 15th and foresaw this day coming. I didn't think it would be nine games into your big league career but that's no reason we shouldn't throw a party. Dude, you're a power hitter, these things will happen. I have Patron on ice and Jay-Z is going to sing Pittsburgh State of Mind. Okay, I have Costco Tequila and a Steely McBeam pinata. Okay, I have a cactus and a small bag of Peanut M&M's, jerk. Let's just see how you went down in flames tonight.

Top 1st: Alvarez struck out swinging against Ben Sheets. Ben Sheets is from Louisiana and enjoys fantasy football and arm injuries.

Top 3rd: Alvarez struck out swinging against Sheets again. Raise your if hand if you thought Sheets would pitch this deep into the game/season.

Top 6th: Alvarez struck out swinging against Sheets. MTD Hat Trick. Everybody with me now, he struck out 3 times, the same way against the same pitcher.

Top 8th: Alvarez struck out looking against Jerry Blevins.

Don't worry, you'll be fine. It happens to the best of us. That 4-year, $6.4 million contract you signed? That's a little more than I made in the past decade.

Ryan Zimmerman's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

With all the strikeouts Stephen Strasburg has been racking up, the other face of the Nationals decided to get in on the act today. Ryan Zimmerman picked up a Golden Sombrero after striking out four times against the White Sox. This will probably be the only Sombrero I will get to hand out to the 25-year-old All Star third baseman this year so we'll have to make it special. While Zimmerman averages about 120 strikeouts over a full season, this is only his fourth career Golden Sombrero. He had one in each of 2006, 2007 and 2008.

In honor of Zimmerman's rare Sombrero, I've blended up some margaritas and put out the chips and salsa. Now let's all gather around and watch some pinata bloopers!



If you don't enjoy that, we can't be friends. Let's see how Zimmerman won that shiny, shiny hat.

Bottom 1st: Zimmerman struck out swinging against Jake Peavy. Remember when Jake Peavy was good? So did he today.

Bottom 3rd: Zimmerman struck out looking against Peavy. Maybe Peavy is just good against the National League.

Bottom 6th: Zimmerman struck out looking against Peavy. 3 pitches. Perhaps Peavy is just good against Ryan Zimmerman.

Bottom 9th: Zimmerman struck out looking against Peavy. 3 pitches. Oh okay, Peavy just owns Zimmerman. This is also an MTD Hat Trick (striking out 3 times, the same way, against the same pitcher). I haven't come up with a name for when a pitcher strikes out a batter 4 times in one game. I'm open to suggestions though. Comments?