Xavier Nady's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Your laptop dies for a week and you miss 15 golden sombreros. The golden sombrero used to be special but in this new era of terrible hitting and Charlie Morton, there's just a ton more guys swinging and missing. For full coverage, my good friend Mike does a great job of tracking these at The Golden Sombrero but I'll still try to make fun of as many as possible.

Xavier Nady was Wednesday night's lone giant hat wearer. It would have taken me at least 5 guesses before I got to Diamondbacks as Nady's 2011 team. Nady had a 3.2 WAR in 2008 but has otherwise been basically a replacement level guy. Slight tick above replacement level because his name is awesome. I like him because he strikes out a quarter of the time. Which eventual leads to this...

Bottom 2nd: Nady struck out looking against Madison Bumgarner. He took 3 straight balls before the 3 straight strikes. This might be my new favorite type of plate appearance.

Bottom 4th: Nady struck out swinging against Bumgarner. Nothing fancy about this one.

Bottom 6th: Nady struck out swinging against Bumgarner again. He fouled a pair off just to see what contact was like. He didn't much care for it.

Bottom 9th: Nady struck out swinging against Brian Wilson. 3 pitches. Fear of the beard is a real thing.

Mark Reynolds' Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

My old friend Mark Reynolds somehow managed to go over a month (6/26) without striking out 4 times in one game. He has managed to skyrocket his batting average from .209 to .217 since then though. This is Reynolds' 4th Sombrero since this birth of this blog and actually only the 4th of the season. Thanks for saving them all for me Mark. Reynolds went 0-4 with 4 strikeouts so it's time to celebrate.

Any time Reynolds gets a Sombrero, I have a little tradition around here. I bring out my donkey wearing a sombrero and we get drunk on cheap tequila. Then we either fist fight in the backyard or go try to pick up some broads. He's quite the ladies donkey.

But before we get to that, let's take a look at Mark's trips to the plate...

Top 2nd: Reynolds struck out swinging against Hisanori Takahashi. He took 2 balls before swinging at the next 3 pitches because that's how Mark Reynolds rolls.

Top 4th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Hisanori Takahashi. He took 2 balls before swinging at the next 3 pitches because that's how Mark Reynolds rolls. That was not a typo.

Top 6th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Takahashi. This is what I have dubbed the MTD Hat Trick. That's when a player strikes out 3 times, the same way, against the same pitcher. It seems to be less rare than I had originally assumed.

Top 7th: Reynolds struck out looking against Bobby Parnell. Looking, eh? I guess there's nothing wrong with diversifying.

I can't tell you how disappointed I was that he didn't get another plate appearance.

Showalter Expected to be Next Fired Orioles Manager

The Baltimore Orioles announced the hiring of Buck Showalter as their new manager Thursday, meaning we can begin the countdown to his firing. Let's set it at 750 days.

Showalter is certainly known for turning clubs around. He helped build the Yankees to what they are today, and for that I thank him. After guiding the Yanks to their first post-season appearance in 15 years in 1995, Showalter moved on to manage the expansion Diamondbacks. During Arizona's first season, Showalter once walked Barry Bonds intentionally with the bases loaded, which is one of the stupidest decisions in the history of organized sport. In 1999, the franchise's second season, William Nathaniel won 100 games and a division title, but perhaps because of the Bonds' decision, or because AZ was afraid he would do it again, Showalter was let go following the 2000 campaign. After taking two years off to recommit himself to the bleach-blonde-hair lifestyle, Showalter took over in Texas, where the Rangers had finished in last place the previous three seasons. They finished last in Nathaniel's first season as well (Orioles parallel!), but Showalter finished third in each of his final three seasons in Arlington. If he can do that in Baltimore, they'll make him mayor.

The Orioles are on their third manager of the year after Dave Trembley and Juan Samuel combined to go 32-70. Showalter is expected to get win No. 33 sometime this season.

Angels Steal Haren From D-Backs and 28 Other Teams

My beloved Halos traded for Dan Haren today in what appears to be a laughable deal. The Diamondbacks dealt their ace to the Angels for back-end rotation guy Joe Saunders and 2 prospects and a player to be named later. The rumors suggest that PTBNL is 2009 supp pick Tyler Skaggs. While Skaggs was coveted by the Diamondbacks, the trade still looks silly. Tony Reagins seemed to catch other GMs asleep at the wheel by sneaking in and acquiring Haren out of nowhere without giving up a big (or even good) package of players.

While I write this, it appears the Angels will fall 7 games back of the Rangers in the AL West. Without a Rangers collapse, the Angels still figure to fall short of the playoffs. But Haren is signed to a below market deal until 2013 and that has to hurt the feelings of many GMs. Except of course for D-Backs GM, Jerry Dipoto, who is fooled by winning percentage and thinks Joe Saunders is good at the pitching. I really expected Dipoto to shout "but he's a lefty" in announcing the trade. Pairing Haren and Jered Weaver should make the Angels a dangerous playoff team if not this year then in the following years. Sorry Diamondback fans, you're in for a long next few seasons.

My Reaction: Wheeeeeee!!!!!
Somehow the Angels managed to add a front of the rotation pitcher without giving up a major prospect. It's absolutely stunning that there wasn't another GM offering a better deal than this for Haren. The D-Backs didn't come close to getting one of the Angels top prospects, most importantly Mike Trout. This trade at least gives me a glimmer of hope for the Angels making the playoffs but I'm smarter than that. It does help ease the pain of Vlad Guerrero murdering the ball for the Rangers and the fact that the Angels are still paying Gary Matthews Jr a boat load of money.

Dan Haren's Reaction: Wheeeeeee!!!!!
Haren gets to move back to his homegrown SoCal digs and pitch for a perennial playoff contender. He shouldn't mind pitching in the AL West where he posted a 120 ERA+ with the A's between 2005-2007.

Arizona Fan's Reaction: Football starts soon, right?

Miguel Montero's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

What day are we on? I've watched so many people swing and miss lately, I'm pretty sure I traveled back in time. While I was there, I invented the Snuggie. You're welcome. I'd like to thank Derwood for picking up some of my slack while covering Jason Bay's Sombrero. That guy makes way too much money. Derwood that is, I paid him close to 14 Rubles last week. Don't ask why I'm on the Russian monetary system, their mafia doesn't like that. Oh hey, Miguel Montero went 1-6 with 4 strikeouts and 1 walk right when I picked him up for my fantasy team. Let's go talk about that...

Bottom 1st: Montero struck out looking against Jonathon Neise. See what happened was I was stubbornly holding on to Matt Wieters but then he hit the DL and even though I had Napoli, I thought Montero was worth grabbing. But then I switched then out and Napoli hit a home run and Montero struck out a hundred times. Jerk.

Bottom 4th: Montero struck out looking against Niese again. What are you doing, man?

Bottom 5th: Montero struck out swinging against Niese. Look who's trying something new.

Bottom 10th: Montero struck out looking against Raul Valdes. Raul Valdes? Raul Valdes.

The Mini Protest At The MLB HQ

I got tipped off this morning about an immigration group protest outside of the MLB Headquarters in New York that was scheduled for around lunchtime. As you (should) know, Arizona passed a highly controversial immigration law that will kick in later this month. I try not to comment on politics or religion because I'm trying to offend fewer people in my old age. Plus I don't believe in them. But when you start messing with Major League Baseball, you've drawn my ire.

Apparently, a memo circulated around the vicinity of the MLB Headquarters warning others of the protest. Why the MLB? Next year's All Star Game will take place in the Arizona Diamondacks' home field and people want the game moved out of Arizona. How will that help? I don't know but let's go to their flyer...

What: RALLY to move the 2011 MLB All-Star Game out of Arizona and protest Arizona's anti-immigrant laws

Date: Thursday July 8, 2010

Time: 12NOON (please arrive at 11:45am!)

Where: 245 Park Ave (MLB Headquarters)

Why: NO to Arizona's SB1070! Moving the 2011 All-Star game from Phoenix, AZ will send the message that baseball, the quintessential American sport, will not accept the un-American treatment of its players or its fans.

Yeah, good luck with that. The only thing that makes Bud Selig even think about changing his mind is a tied All Star Game or an umpire ruining a perfect game. But sure, punishing baseball fans in Arizona and the pocket books of the Diamondbacks would certainly... Wait, what? I don't exactly see how moving the All Star Game is going to persuade Arizona to revoke that law. It's not like Josh Byrnes and A.J. Hinch voted this law through. Or was that why they were fired?

Either way, the protest didn't quite live up to its 300+ people showing that the memo warned. My source said it was 75 to 100 tops. I believe it was because the lunch time protest wasn't catered with Yankee Stadium hot dogs.

Illegal is Not Legal? Yes sir, literally.

Shot Of The Night

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Last night's shot of the night was Young Lovin: 2 oz vodka, 2 oz Fanta® orange soda, 1 oz ginger ale, 1/2 oz Rose's® grenadine syrup, 1 splash lemons. More of a drink than a shot but, hey, it has orange Fanta in it. I'm not sure what happened last night but my eyes burn. I really hope I wasn't talked into drinking vodka through my eye hole. Anyhoo, the shot of the night has nothing to do with high school girls and it's in honor of Chris Young.

Chris Young, the hitter, went 3-5 with a double, a home run, 5 RBI and a stolen base. He also struck out once and only saw 19 pitches in his 5 at bats. Just when I thought I couldn't get any nerdier, I'm developing a weird fascination with pitches seen. I'll be over in a minute, Baseball-Reference. The Diamondbacks crushed the Dodgers 12-5, proving what I always say, "Kirk Gibson will one day manage the Diamondbacks to a 12-5 win over the Dodgers." Sometimes I'm really specific.

Honorable Mention: Mat Latos
Chris Young, the pitcher, was just placed on the 60 day DL. That guy loves the disabled list. Luckily for the first place Padres, Mat Latos is turning into an ace. Latos pitched another gem last night going 8 shutout innings giving up 4 hits and striking out 7 without allowing a walk. The 22-year-old ran his record to 9-4 with a 2.62 ERA and an impressive 138 ERA+. The Mat with one 't' bothers me a litle though.

Mark Reynolds' Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

What can I say about Mark Reynolds? He might be my favorite player. I've tried to reach out on Twitter and Facebook but even if he's there, I'm not sure he would want to be friends with a guy who chronicles his epic moment in striking out. But there is a chance I'm wrong. Reynolds didn't have a Golden Sombrero until June 17th, about two weeks after we started this blog. This is his third Sombrero in two weeks since then. So I'd prefer to think he was just waiting until I got this blog up and running before he went strikeout crazy. I do have a pretty high opinion of myself though.

And any time I get to hand out a Golden Sombrero to Mark Reynolds means the Drunk Donkey gets out of my shed and we go patrolling for babes. By shed, I mean the spare bedroom, he likes pillows and a mattress.

Alright, we've been taking shots of Costco Tequila, so it's time to take a look at Reynolds' strikeouts before the donkey throws up on my couch...

Top 2nd: Reynolds struck out swinging against David Price. That's former No. 1 pick David Price.

Top 5th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Price again.

Top 7th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Price for the MTD Hat Trick. I hope you guys know what that is by now, jerks. I held off on the Price is Right/Wrong jokes but this at least calls for the losing horn...



Top 9th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Rafael Soriano. Did I get a fantasy save? Somebody check my lineup.

Shot Of The Night

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Tonight's shot of the night is a Walk in the Park: 1/3 Drambuie Scotch Whiskey, 1/3 Benedictine Herbal Liqueur, 1/3 Green Chartreuse. And it's in honor of Edwin Jackson.

Edwin Jackson had a career day at the park. He tossed a no-hitter and threw a career high 149 pitches. He's probably going to need the booze because his arm might fall off in the next couple of days. He managed to walk 8 batters in his no-hitter, good for third most in no-no history. Get it? Walk in the Park? I'm here all week kids, try the Teriyaki wings.

Honorable Mention: Jimmy Rollins
J-Roll fresh off of another one of his seemingly endless DL stints went 0-1 with 4 walks. Four walks in one game. Yuniesky Betancourt disapproves.

Come on Yuni, bring your .292 OBP and let's go drink. I'll drive since we all know you aren't walking. *rim shot*

Edwin Jackson Throws A No-Hitter On A Few Pitches

I thought the big story a story tonight at Tropicana Field was the Upton Brothers playing against each other for the first time. See? There ended up being a slightly bigger story at The Trop. Edwin Jackson threw the Diamondbacks' second ever no-hitter against his former team. It wasn't pretty but it goes into the record books nonetheless. I usually get pretty excited to cover great moments in poor hitting but I'm not sure that's what happened. Let's take a look at some weird stats from this year's latest no-no.

149 Pitches Obviously, this is the one everyone will be talking about and will serve as a recurring theme in this post. That's a lot of pitches. Excuse me while I pat myself on the back for that nugget of analysis. It's the most pitches thrown in a game since Livan Hernandez in 2005. Now I could sit around here and make Dusty Baker jokes till 3 a.m. but Keith Law already won the night.



8 Walks/6 Strikeouts That is one way to drive up your pitch count, shoot for double digit walks. Of his 149 pitches, Edwin threw 79 for strikes. For context, Strasburg throws 79 strikes in 75 pitches.[citation needed] The 8 walks in a no-hitter is third all-time. Jim Maloney tossed 10 no-hit innings while walking 10 in 1965. B-R doesn't have pitch count data so I'll assume Maloney threw 231 pitches on that beautiful day in August. A.J. Burnett threw a no-hitter in 2001 and walked 9 batters. He threw 129 pitches, 65 for strikes. Perhaps the Edwin-A.J. comp is a good one.

3 Clean Innings Three! Edwin only retired the side in order on three out of nine occasions. I don't want to rain on the kid's parade but there is a good amount of luck going into this no-hitter considering how long he pitched from the stretch.

Edwin Jackson is still only 26-years-old but over his 8-year career he is a 4.71 ERA guy or 5% worse than the league average pitcher. But Edwin's no-hitter and 149 pitches will be the big story until Doug Fister no-hits the Brewers tomorrow without striking anybody out.

Upton Update

B.J.: 0-2 with a walk

Justin: 2-3 with a walk, smacked Edwin Jackson with shaving cream

Uptons Pack The Trop

Tonight when the Diamondbacks play the Rays, it will be the first time young stars brothers B.J. and Justin Upton will play against each other. B.J. was the second pick overall by the Rays in the 2002 draft. He broke into the bigs in 2004 at 19-years-old. I fell in love with Bossman Junior during the magical summer of 2007. He hit 24 home runs, 82 RBI, 22 steals and had an .894 OPS while playing second base. A star was born and I won a fantasy baseball title. Since 2007, he has 27 home runs, 151 RBI, 109 steals and an average OPS of .733. Sadly, my fantasy teams have still not recovered from the heartbreak.

Justin was the top pick in 2005 and broke in at 19-years-old with the Diamondbacks in 2007. He had 26 home runs while hitting .300/.366/.532 last season. I've never owned him on a fantasy team so I'm fairly indifferent about the younger Upton. He does strikeout quite a bit which makes me happy.

Oh wait, I buried the lede. Upton family and friends will pack Tropicana Field to near capacity tonight for this glorious event...

About 65 friends and relatives of the Uptons will be at Tropicana Field for tonight's first-ever meeting of brothers B.J. and Justin. Most noticeable will be mother Yvonne, who has a special split jersey shirt with both of her sons names and numbers that was made by a family friend.

"This is the easy part," said Manny, their father. "The hard part was making sure everybody got into town.''

Ugh, those jerseys are so tacky. Why can't one parent wear the jersey of their favorite kid and then the other parent has to wear the jersey of the loser kid? We're getting too damn politically correct, America. I hope B.J. doesn't get nervous playing in front of that many people at The Trop. Zing. You might need to put some Neosporin on that burn Tampa Bay fans.

Luis Gonzalez To Get Number Retired. Wait, What?

The Diamondbacks will make Luis Gonzalez's No. 20 the first retired number in the proud 13-year history of the franchise. At first glance, I thought this was a misprint and Fredi Gonzalez had actually been hired to manage the D-Backs. Nope. Luis Gonzalez's number will be retired in a pregame ceremony on August 7th. Really?

Yeah, turns out my brain chose to completely ignore some good seasons Gonzalez had out in the desert. I spent a decent portion of the early 2000's on some pretty serious performance dehancers. He is the franchise's leader in games (1,194), hits (1,337) and home runs (224). He also hit .298/.391/.529 for an OPS+ of 130. That's a pretty solid eight year stretch he had with the Diamondbacks. On the other hand, it's also a little strange for a journeyman player to hit his eight peak years after he turned 31-years-old.

It's not my job to sit here and sling mud from behind my keyboard. Or is it? I'm not really sure what I'm doing here. I will say this, I think everything was juiced in 2001. Hitters, pitchers, balls, bats, t-shirt cannons, Pamela Anderson, me, you, that guy on your couch, Chris Berman, the Noid, everybody but Vlad Guerrero, Legally Blonde, Bud Selig, etc. Luis Gonzalez had one season where he hit more than 30 home runs before and after 2001. In 2001, he hit 57 homers. Bonds hit 72 and Sosa hit 64. Shawn Green hit 49 and he's not allowed to play on the Sabbath. Is that a thing? I might have made that up. Phil Nevin hit 41. It was a wacky drug fueled time back then, kids. What were we talking about?

A War Of Words

Sometimes baseball players don't like each other. Sometimes they attack each other through the media. Other times, Pedro Martinez shoves an old bench coach to the ground. This is one of those former times. Miguel Montero used to catch for Jose Valverde in 2007 and that was a long time ago. After Valverde struck out Montero Friday night, he did a leap of joy off of the mound. That sparked these words from Montero...

"He's a (bleeping) (bleep)," Montero told the Arizona Republic. "The way he acts, it's not right, you know"[Ed. - Pretty sure they were supposed to go question mark there, but what do I know"] You've got to be professional. I've always felt that way. And I've always told him. That's the way he is. I guess he thinks it's right. But I don't care."

It didn't take long for Valverde, ever the gentleman, to retort...

“Tell Montero he’s a freaking rookie and I can do whatever I want to,” Valverde said Sunday morning. “Tell him that. Put it in the papers. If he wants to do something, tell him to come to my locker and let me know.

“I never liked Montero,” he continued. “He’s a (bleeping) piece of (bleep).

“Tell Montero he has two years (in the majors) and I have eight.”

Those are some pretty bold words, sir. I'm also pretty sure Bud Selig disagrees with your opinion that you can do whatever you want. Go try to post some MLB clips on YouTube and see how far you get. And does Jose know what rookie means? This is Montero's fourth year in the majors or third full season. Let's see if Montero is any better with math...

“It doesn’t matter if he’s got eight years,” Montero said. “I don’t think he’s got eight years because he got sent down seven or eight times. That really doesn’t count. When you get sent down your major league service stops counting. He got called up in ’02 and he got sent down in ’02 and ’03 and ’04 and ’05 and ’06. I guess this year he was a free agent so that let me know he got six years. In four out of six years he’s given up 100 runs a year. He’s only had two good years in his career. So what? He’s still a (bleep) to me.”

I think someone spent a little time on Baseball-Reference before making that statement. Or Jose might want to look into a restraining order. I'm just sayin. Surely this wouldn't have been a problem if the Diamonbacks had signed him this offseason, right Miguel?

“I wouldn’t mind having him on my team, I’d just keep telling him he’s dumb,” Montero said.

Oh, you can work around that. I tell Derwood that almost on a daily basis.

Mark Reynolds' Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Mark Reynolds is my boy. He had a nice fantasy breakout season last year while hitting 44 home runs and swiping 24 bases. He also led the league in strikeouts with 223. He picked up a solid 5 Golden Sombreros last year. He picked up his first Golden Sombrero this season on June 13th. And he didn't waste much time picking up his second. Reynolds went 0-4 tonight with 4 strikeouts. You know what that means? It's time for me to get drunk with my donkey.

I named him Hurradura and we split a gallon of daiquiris tonight. He wants to go to a strip club so let's get to Reynolds' strikeout fest...

Top 2nd: Reynolds struck out looking against John Lackey. Looking? That doesn't sound right. Maybe he was distracted by a vuvuzela.

Top 4th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Lackey. Okay, that's better.

Top 5th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Lackey again. I get that tingle up my spine and ask him for some love.



Top 7th: Reynolds struck looking against Dustin Richardson.

That's just some good looking out. Thanks, Mark. If you could send me some cash, I could get moving on the OffBP Golden Sombreros. Made out of straw. Alright donkey, let's go to the strip club, you're driving.

Mark Reynolds' Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

This is an exciting, special edition of my Golden Sombrero segment. In case you missed it, I reference Mark Reynolds in the description of this post. Mark has missed a few balls the past couple of years. He led the National League in strikeouts in 2008 (204) and 2009 (impressive 223). He's kind of my hero. Tonight was Mark's first Golden Sombrero since we opened this site around a week ago. Shocking, I know.

In honor of this special, frequent occasion, I took four shots of Tres Generationes tequila and hired this donkey wearing a sombrero.

The donkey and I finished the bottle of tequila and are going to pick up some broads after I finish this post. So let's get to it.

Bottom 3rd: Reynolds struck out swinging against Chris Carpenter. Nothing to see here, move along.

Bottom 5th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Carpenter. He swung and missed at three straight. I try to purchase a Mark Reynolds Fathead of him striking out.

Bottom 7th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Dennys Reyes. Mmmm, Dennys.

Bottom 9th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Kyle McClellan. Reynolds was trying to air condition the Diamondbacks stadium all by himself. Who's looking out for ya?

Thank you, Mark Reynolds. I erected a Mark Reynolds statue out of mash potatoes but my drunk donkey ate it. Speaking of which, we're going to find some ladies. I'll post something tomorrow after I post bail.