A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.
What day are we on? I've watched so many people swing and miss lately, I'm pretty sure I traveled back in time. While I was there, I invented the Snuggie. You're welcome. I'd like to thank Derwood for picking up some of my slack while covering Jason Bay's Sombrero. That guy makes way too much money. Derwood that is, I paid him close to 14 Rubles last week. Don't ask why I'm on the Russian monetary system, their mafia doesn't like that. Oh hey, Miguel Montero went 1-6 with 4 strikeouts and 1 walk right when I picked him up for my fantasy team. Let's go talk about that...
Bottom 1st: Montero struck out looking against Jonathon Neise. See what happened was I was stubbornly holding on to Matt Wieters but then he hit the DL and even though I had Napoli, I thought Montero was worth grabbing. But then I switched then out and Napoli hit a home run and Montero struck out a hundred times. Jerk.
Bottom 4th: Montero struck out looking against Niese again. What are you doing, man?
Bottom 5th: Montero struck out swinging against Niese. Look who's trying something new.
Bottom 10th: Montero struck out looking against Raul Valdes. Raul Valdes? Raul Valdes.