Off Base Percentage World Series Predictions

Sup? Sup. /head nod Suuuuuuup.

Here we are. It's the middle of October, and baseball has now finally widdled itself down to its final two teams. As all the experts predicted, the Royals and the Giants will square off on Tuesday to kick off the 111th World Series. What? No one predicted this World Series matchup? OK, maybe they didn't. But, now that we are here, who is really upset about this matchup? That's right. Nobody.

In advance of the Fall Classic, the Czar of Off Base Percentage, MJ Lloyd, and myself are going to kick around the old question ball and see if we can come to a consensus on who will be standing victorious at the end of the World Series. We put on pants for this shindig, so you would know that we mean business. Well, MJ is wearing pants. I'm wearing Spongebob Squarepants pajama pants. But for this exercise, they count as pants.

San Francisco Sweeps In Series Supremacy

That was quick. The Giants didn't even seem to break a sweat except for some brief extra inning action in game four and anytime Pablo Sandoval was forced to do light jogging. Speaking of Kung Fu Panda, Sandoval took home the MVP and new Corvette after his three homer game one and .500/.529/1.125 series slasher.

Of course the Giants won the World Series. They only faced elimination in three straight games against the Reds. They obviously knew 36-year-old Marco Scutoro just needed a change of scenery from COORS FIELD to become a great hitter. The Giants managed to lull the Tigers pitching into a false sense of security by including Gregor Blanco and Brandon Crawford in their line-ups. And that Barry Zito versus Justin Verlander duel did end up being pretty mismatched just not in the way everybody expected. So congratulations to the San Francisco Giants for proving baseball is a crazy game. An incredible, hard to predict, crazy game.

I mean, I predicted the Giants would win the World Series before the playoffs so don't pull a hamstring rushing to pat me on the back. But the Giants weren't even a popular pick when they got into the World Series according to the research I did by going to ESPN.com. Just five of the 28 ESPN baseball type people had the Giants defeating the Tigers. If my math is correct, that makes me smrter than Keith Law.

The Tigers extra rest and ability to line up their dominant pitching rotation didn't prove to be an advantage. Prince Fielder hit a .071/.133/.071 line so poor Brandon Wood snickered at it. On the bright side, Drew Smyly and Gerald Laird let Angel Pagan steal second base in game two and now we all get free tacos at Taco Bell on 10/30 between 2 pm to 6 pm. Baseball, American as free tacos. Is what my grandpa always says.

It was an impressive run by the Giants but they were kind of jerks by ending the season so abruptly. We'll miss you, baseball.

World Series Notes - Game 1

It's game one of the World Series!!

Texas and St. Louis!

Allen Craig#

Darren Oliver and Arthur Rhodes%&

Anyway, during the opening game of the Fall Classic I jotted down some notes.


* St. Louis bat boy's name is Tanner.

There's only one Tanner allowed in baseball history, and it's Tanner Boyle.

* This debate actually took place in the bottom of the sixth inning: should Texas intentionally walk Nick Punto?

Speaking of Punto, here is a list of loud, rhetorical questions I asked my cat, Morris



during the game:

- NICK PUNTO?!

- 7TH INNING, TYING AND GO-AHEAD RUNS ON FOR TEXAS, PINCH HITTING IS.....ESTEBAN GERMAN?! JESUS!

- THAT WAS GERMAN'S FIRST AT BAT SINCE SEPTEMBER 25?!

- WHO THE HELL IS JOHN JAY?!

* Joe Buck came close to telling an actual joke in the sixth inning. It was something about a Rangers' reliever turning on a heater with his legs.

If I had to grade the joke in Cansecos I'd give it an Ozzie.

* There's Allen Craig with the go-ahead single, which finally answers the trivia question what's Allen Craig up to these days?

* Here's a segment inspired by FOX's Tim McCarver I like to call Thanks, Tim.

1. Texas down 3-2 in the top of the seventh, reliever Alexei Ogando on deck:

"He won't bat."

Thanks, Tim.

2. Bottom of the eighth:

"Wicked slider from Mike Adams."

(Scott Feldman was pitching and had been since the seventh. Mike Adams had yet to get into the game).

Thanks, Tim.

3. After Texas catcher Mike Napoli points away while giving a sign:

"Yup, something away."

Thanks, Tim.

The Offensive Juggernaut Known As The Giants

The funny part about this is that I actually used the offensive juggernaut known as the Giants tag to mock their pitiful lineup throughout the regular season. Turns out the joke was on me. The Giants have now scored 20 runs in the first two games of the World Series. And to my surprise, the Giants destruction of the Rangers pitching hasn't come from the bat of blog favorite Buster Posey. The Giants offensive outburst has come from the unlikely names such as Edgar Renteria, Juan Uribe, Aubrey Huff and Freddy Sanchez. Okay, maybe not Huff so much as he was a pretty good hitter during the regular season.

Still, I don't think anyone imagined the Giants would light up Cliff Lee in Game One and then pin nine runs on the Rangers bullpen in Game Two. Of course, Ron Washington has been managing his bullpen like a Golden Corral that was going in the red because Bengie Molina bought a season pass. Washington's refusal to use his best reliever, Neftali Feliz, in high leverage situations (or at all) continues to boggle everyone's mind.

Speaking of mind boggling, has anybody been watching Matt Cain this post season? He's now started three games and pitched 21.1 scoreless innings. Another scoreless 8 inning performance in Game Six (if necessary) would break Walter Johnson's record for shutout post season innings. Note: I didn't do any real research, I'm just going off of a Jayson Stark tweet that I hope I accurately remember. I'm awesome at journalism.

The Rangers will lean on Japanese League superstar Colby Lewis to cool off the hot bats of the Giants when the series resumes Saturday in Arlington. The Rangers can plug Big Daddy Vladdy back into the lineup as their DH which should help them offensively and defensively. Vlad still crushes lefty pitching so there is still a little hope for Rangers fans if he can get a few good swings against Jonathan Sanchez.

While I never got around to publishing my World Series prediction post, I had the Giants in six. If the Rangers don't turn it around soon, I might look bad for reinserting that pick here.

Your World Series Stars, Simpsons Style

The Rangers and the Giants are about to kick off Game One and I'm sure you've all been previewed to death by now. So, I've decided to take the good old Off Base Percentage method and rip off some old ideas and make them my own. Today we'll take a look at some of the key World Series players as their animated counter parts from The Simpsons.

Texas Rangers

1. Josh Hamilton as Sober Barney Gumble
When Barney was the town drunk, he wasted potential left and right. But once Barney got sober, he learned to fly a helicopter and saved the Simpson children from a sure forest fire death in Days of Wine and Do'h'ses. The sober version of Josh Hamilton is this year's ALCS MVP and probably the AL MVP.

2. Cliff Lee as Troy McClure
You may remember Cliff from such teams as the Cleveland Indians, Philadelphia Phillies, Seattle Mariners and Texas Rangers. No matter where Cliff Lee pitches though, he always puts together a brilliant performance.

3. C.J. Wilson as Ned Flanders
Wilson seems to be one of the nicest guys in baseball and as straight edge as they come according to his Twitter handle @str8edgeracer. I doubt Ned shares Wilson's racing enthusiasm after the "Maude incident."

4. Vlad Guerrero as Nelson Muntz
Like Nelson, Vlad will take a swing at just about anything and when it connects, it hurts.

5. Nelson Cruz as Fat Tony
When Cruz is actually active and on the show, he's one of the most dangerous players in baseball. He just needs more air time.

6. Colby Lewis as Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Lewis came over from another country (after spending two season in Japan) and has done nothing but excel at his job. Except for the time he gave the clubhouse salmonella after bringing in some expired ham.

7. Jeff Fancoeur as Grandpa
Francoeur is also afraid to walk for fear of breaking a hip. At least that's what I assume his reasoning is.

8. Bengie Molina as Comic Book Guy
Both are slow, easily winded and rarely helpful.

9. Michael Young as Mr. Burns
Young has a ton of cash now after signing a 5-year, $80 million contract but neither one of them are as feared as they used to be.

10. Elvis Andrus as Maggie Simpson
Andrus is young and talented just like his counterpart. And I never heard him speak either.

San Francisco Giants

1. Buster Posey as Bart Simpson
Posey has been a star since he made it to TV. He has the potential to carry the Giants through some otherwise disappointing stretches.

2. Tim Lincecum as Otto Mann
Too obvious? Sorry. They both have long hair, drive too fast and enjoy the occasional joint. I'm guessing they both smell like patchouli as well.

3. Brian Wilson as Homer Simpson
Two crazy characters. Wilson is getting more press after his "The Machine" stunt. He appears to have a wacky sense of humor or is completely insane. Plus, he's a guy who you'd definitely want to go party with considering his plans following winning the NLCS were to, "Rage, get minimal sleep and do it again." That has Homer written all over it.

4. Cody Ross as Sideshow Bob
Ross shows up once a season, makes a big splash and then isn't heard from for the rest of the year. Side note: I have a slap bet with a friend about Cody Ross hitting another home run this post season. I have the under and probably just jinxed myself.

5. Pablo Sandoval as Chief Wiggum
Neither of them are any good at their positions on defense but they do share a certain round physique.

6. Aubrey Huff as Jimbo Jones
Huff flies under the radar but he is a strong hitter.

7. Pat Burrell as Moe Szyslak
I don't think you can characterize either of them having a pleasant disposition. Moe is ugly (physically) and is hidden in a dark bar and Pat is ugly (defensively) and hidden in left field.

8. Edgar Renteria as Disco Stu
Their best years were in the 1970's.

9. Aaron Rowand as Krusty the Clown
This one might be a reach but Rowand's contract constantly keeps me laughing due to his poor performances.

10. Matt Cain as Lisa Simpson
Cain isn't the star of the show but he always brings his A game. I feel like I should apologize for that one.

Okay kids, who did I miss?