Miguel Montero's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

What day are we on? I've watched so many people swing and miss lately, I'm pretty sure I traveled back in time. While I was there, I invented the Snuggie. You're welcome. I'd like to thank Derwood for picking up some of my slack while covering Jason Bay's Sombrero. That guy makes way too much money. Derwood that is, I paid him close to 14 Rubles last week. Don't ask why I'm on the Russian monetary system, their mafia doesn't like that. Oh hey, Miguel Montero went 1-6 with 4 strikeouts and 1 walk right when I picked him up for my fantasy team. Let's go talk about that...

Bottom 1st: Montero struck out looking against Jonathon Neise. See what happened was I was stubbornly holding on to Matt Wieters but then he hit the DL and even though I had Napoli, I thought Montero was worth grabbing. But then I switched then out and Napoli hit a home run and Montero struck out a hundred times. Jerk.

Bottom 4th: Montero struck out looking against Niese again. What are you doing, man?

Bottom 5th: Montero struck out swinging against Niese. Look who's trying something new.

Bottom 10th: Montero struck out looking against Raul Valdes. Raul Valdes? Raul Valdes.

A War Of Words

Sometimes baseball players don't like each other. Sometimes they attack each other through the media. Other times, Pedro Martinez shoves an old bench coach to the ground. This is one of those former times. Miguel Montero used to catch for Jose Valverde in 2007 and that was a long time ago. After Valverde struck out Montero Friday night, he did a leap of joy off of the mound. That sparked these words from Montero...

"He's a (bleeping) (bleep)," Montero told the Arizona Republic. "The way he acts, it's not right, you know"[Ed. - Pretty sure they were supposed to go question mark there, but what do I know"] You've got to be professional. I've always felt that way. And I've always told him. That's the way he is. I guess he thinks it's right. But I don't care."

It didn't take long for Valverde, ever the gentleman, to retort...

“Tell Montero he’s a freaking rookie and I can do whatever I want to,” Valverde said Sunday morning. “Tell him that. Put it in the papers. If he wants to do something, tell him to come to my locker and let me know.

“I never liked Montero,” he continued. “He’s a (bleeping) piece of (bleep).

“Tell Montero he has two years (in the majors) and I have eight.”

Those are some pretty bold words, sir. I'm also pretty sure Bud Selig disagrees with your opinion that you can do whatever you want. Go try to post some MLB clips on YouTube and see how far you get. And does Jose know what rookie means? This is Montero's fourth year in the majors or third full season. Let's see if Montero is any better with math...

“It doesn’t matter if he’s got eight years,” Montero said. “I don’t think he’s got eight years because he got sent down seven or eight times. That really doesn’t count. When you get sent down your major league service stops counting. He got called up in ’02 and he got sent down in ’02 and ’03 and ’04 and ’05 and ’06. I guess this year he was a free agent so that let me know he got six years. In four out of six years he’s given up 100 runs a year. He’s only had two good years in his career. So what? He’s still a (bleep) to me.”

I think someone spent a little time on Baseball-Reference before making that statement. Or Jose might want to look into a restraining order. I'm just sayin. Surely this wouldn't have been a problem if the Diamonbacks had signed him this offseason, right Miguel?

“I wouldn’t mind having him on my team, I’d just keep telling him he’s dumb,” Montero said.

Oh, you can work around that. I tell Derwood that almost on a daily basis.