Indians Add Vinny To Ever-Growing List Of Vinny(ies)

The Cleveland Indians may be going through a tough stretch-they were swept by the Yankees and have lost five consecutive games-but that's not going to stop the second place team in the AL Central from making history.

Cleveland claimed former Mets' utility infielder Vinny Rottino off waivers, and with relief pitcher Vinnie Pestano already on the roster, the Tribe lead the majors in total Vinnies/Vinnys.

Let's see how Indians' fans are handling the news:

"It's almost too much Vinnie for one man to handle," said longtime Indians season ticket holder Mort Lyons. "I feel like if I don't sit down and have a cool drink of water, read a little bit from The Book of Vinnie, I may Vinnie all over the place."

"Talk to me when they get a Vito," said Vito Migliaccio.

"I told you I did not want to be interviewed," said Jenn Sanderson.


The staff at Offbase looks out for its readers; we know where our Vinnie is buttered. Here's a breakdown of active Vinnies/Vinnys:

1. Rottino. Had a .182/.308/.394 slash line with New York before being designated for assignment. The Racine, Wisconsin native's full name is Vincent Antonio Rottino, but if he had been born in Yonkers, New York, he would've been No. 93 on the depth chart amongst Vincent Antonio Rottinos.

2. Pestano. In 2011 led all Vinnies in strike outs with 84.

3. Vin Mazzaro, Kansas City RHP. May 16, 2011: appeared in same game as Pestano (tying the single-game record for Vins/Vinnies appearances) and allowed 14 earned runs in 2 1/3 innings pitched.

4. Vicente Padilla, Boston RHP. 'Vicente' is Nicaraguan for 'Vinnie'.


Active until recently:

Vinnie Chulk, Milwaukee RHP. After not pitching in the majors in 2010 or 2011, appeared in seven games for the Brewers in April and May (10.00 ERA) before a demotion to the minors May 21. Recently appeared in the hit play Too Many Vinnies.

Grady Sizemore's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Starting in 2005, Grady Sizemore was one of the most exciting young players in baseball and looked like a future MVP. A legit 30-30 guy, Sizemore posted a 5.8 WAR in 2005, 8.0 in 2006, 6.2 in 2007 and 7.4 in 2008. In 2009, injuries started derailing his career. He made it to the plate just 140 time in 2010 and, with one DL trip in the books, ZiPS projects 378 plate appearances for 2011. And he wasted 4 of them on Sunday. But I feel bad for Grady so here's a sad dog wearing a sombrero.

Top 2nd: Sizemore struck out swinging against Jeremy Hellickson. To be fair, Hellickson had some pretty good stuff.

Top 4th: Sizemore struck out swinging against Hellickson again.

Top 7th: Sizemore struck out swinging against Hellickson. Sizemore struck out 3 times, the same way against the same pitcher which is an MTD Hat Trick. Why isn't this catching on yet? Somebody get Baseball Tonight on the phone.

Top 9th: Sizemore struck out looking against Cesar Ramos. Sizemore watched 3 straight pitches to end the game.

Shin-Soo Choo's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

I can't believe I had to wait until the third day [Ed. - My bad, I missed Ryan Langerhans' GS last night *makes drinking motion*] of the season for the first Golden Sombrero. Oh, we've been close and it looks like I'll have another busy year tracking all of them down. Luckily for me and you, I have a partner in crime this season. My good friend Mike at (what else?) The Golden Sombrero shares my passion for swinging and missing. Good times ahead.

Shin-Soo Choo gets the dubious honor of the first Golden Sombrero of the young 2011 season. He had one on 9/29 last season but didn't get the full Off Base treatment so I feel like we should do something special for him today. Let's break out an old classic, pinata bloopers...



I could watch that all day. But we have some business to attend.

Bottom 2nd: Choo struck out swinging against Edwin Jackson. Choo drew a walk in the first but quickly decided that was boring.

Bottom 5th: Choo struck out swinging against Jackson again. But he did it in an impressive fashion. Three pitches: one looking, one fouled off and then one swinging. Nice.

Bottom 7th: Choo struck out swinging against Chris Sale. Again, it only took three pitches.

Bottom 9th: Choo struck out looking against Sergio Santos. Just three pitches. Choo, master of efficiency.

Tournament of Champions Series Preview 2

(4) Cleveland Indians vs. (5) Rockford Peaches

On paper, this should be an extremely competitive series. Each team has a monster power hitter, a flashy center fielder, a staff ace and a colorful manager. This series may come down to the Peaches Dottie Hinson who should go down as the greatest female player in baseball history.

For the Indians
Thanks to a recommitment to Jobu, Pedro Cerrano spotted enough curveballs to become a Three True Outcome player. He hit 40 bombs with a .264/.386/.554 line this season while playing some highly questionable defense in the outfield. Willie "Mays" Hayes was spectacular in center and swiped 68 bases despite only having a .341 OBP. Jake Taylor is still manning his spot behind the dish after having a successful and experimental surgery to replace all the ligaments in his knees with those of an ostrich.

Rick Vaughn made the transition from the bullpen back to being a starter with no problem after several sessions with Dr. Drew for some off the field transgressions. Eddie Harris rejuvenated his career after having adamantium attached to the bones in his hand. Closing in on 60-years-old, Harris scoffs at Jamie Moyer's career.

For the Peaches
Second basewoman Marla Hooch hit 33 home runs with a .292/.380/.535 line. She also had a banner year away from the ball park too when she and her partner adopted their first Asian baby. In center, "All the Way" Mae Mordabito set single season records in both putouts and puts outs.

Kit Keller rejoined the Peaches after patching things up with her sister Dottie Hinson. After resolving her inferiority complex, Keller put up a year for the ages going 23-4 with a 2.07 ERA and 313 strikeouts.

Hinson turned her passion back to baseball after she discovered her husband was actually a polygamist who had several other wives on their farm compound. Fully devoted to the game, Hinson put together a 10.2 WAR from behind the plate and established herself as an all time great.

Key to the Series
The teams are pretty evenly matched. Hinson is the best player in the series but the Indians have much more depth. This could very well come down to the managerial styles of Jimmy Dugan and Lou Brown. Dugan floats between uninterested and passionate depending on which way the booze flows while many experts say Brown is still a great tactician but manages like a ghost of his former self.

Indians Equipment Leaves For Spring Training Friday

Is this really news? I think I've identified the slowest news stage of the off-season. It's this week. The biggest baseball news was that Rob Neyer left ESPN for SB Nation. Other than that, I think most baseball scribes were filling their time by making up variations of snowpocolypse on Twitter. Except for the guys at Fangraphs* who crank out tons of words everyday because I'm pretty sure Dave Cameron is running that place like it's a sweatshop with whips and arms chained to laptops.

But I officially realized we're in the news doldrums of the baseball year when Paul Hoynes scraped the bottom of the barrel for this gem...

This winter can't last forever, right?

One of the sure signs that the snow will eventually stop and the ice will melt takes place Friday when the Indians' equipment truck leaves Progressive Field for Goodyear, Ariz., to prepare for spring training.

I like Hoynsie but if we don't get that man some real baseball to write about soon, I'm afraid Cleveland fans can look forward to a series of articles about the condition of the carpet in the clubhouse.

Hurry up, Spring Training.

*Obviously, I know BP, BA and a ton of other places are still cranking out awesome content but still...

Girl Charged With Stealing Nude Pics Of Sizemore

The villainous Intertube Grady Sizemore stalker has been charged with a gross misdemeanor for stealing nude photos of Sizemore after a little Facebook stalking and hackery. Grady's Ladies nod their head in gratuitous approval. The Cleveland Indians superstar center fielder, when healthy, sent some NSFW photos to his Playboy Playmate girlfriend, Brittany Binger, sometime in August 2009 because nothing turns chicks on more than pictures of yourself naked in mirror shots. Despite what all of the retraining orders that have been filed against me by Hollywood actresses would have me believe.

Here's what the Star Tribune had to say...

An Apple Valley woman was charged on Tuesday with breaking into a model's e-mail account and stealing racy photos of Cleveland Indians baseball player Grady Sizemore, which were widely posted on the Internet last year.

*snip*

Leah M. Ayers, 19, has been charged by the city of Apple Valley with two counts of unauthorized computer access, a gross misdemeanor. She could not be reached for comment.

I blame this entirely on Sizemore's girlfriend. They tell you what a good security password is now and I'm sure gradysizemoresgrrl24 wasn't too hard to break. My friend Chris got it on his 4th try. He doesn't even like baseball which brings up a whole new set of questions.

Baseball's Magic Jewelry

Many of you have noticed the ridiculous necklaces that baseball players have been wearing lately. Josh Beckett is the most noticeable offender but I'll give him a pass because he's getting paid. But it's catching on around the league and there's some mad science or voodoo surrounding them. Or regular science, but I doubt it. Let's learn more...

Phiten Co., which has an office in Cleveland, and others who make them claim their necklaces -- and titanium-laced bracelets, tape, socks, sleeves, lotions, gels and, coming soon to a store near you, bed sheets -- may help promote relaxation, reduce stress and relieve pain.

They're also supposed to boost energy and help players recover faster by harnessing the body's natural bioelectical currents.

Sounds like HGH to me but I'm no scientist. *checks degree from CrapOnlineU.com* Nope, I'm not a scientist but I can marry gay couples. Baseball players are superstitious and don't mind riding other players new found voodoo. Isn't that right Shin-Soo Choo?

"I saw Beckett and Justin Morneau use them so I started to use them," said Indians right-fielder Shin-Soo Choo. "Cliff Lee and CC Sabathia wear them."

Choo wears three braided Phiten necklaces, called a "tornado." He's worn a titanium necklace for three years, adding a strand each season. And, yes, he's noticed a difference. Sort of.

"Not like I feel totally different," he said, "but I feel good."

That's how I feel after getting out of a hot tub (that was the cleaned up version). Whether it works or not (doubt it does), they have a fantastic marketing plan and the kids are eating up...

"It's just more of a fad with the kids," said Nate Cannell, manager of Cardboard Heroes at Beachwood Place. "We sell more to kids than anyone."

Phiten's Gary Rodrick and his son, Austin, who operate from the Cleveland office, make the rounds in major league clubhouses during the season and spring training, handing out necklaces to the players to try out. They target pitchers for maximum marketing exposure: They're on the television screen longer.

Am I getting lazier? I think I might have blockquoted this entire post. I'll make it up to you guys though. I ordered a necklace which should help with my writing and a belt which should help with the ladies. Grrrr.

Stephen Strasburg: Walk Machine

Welcome to my overreaction-mobile. Make sure you buckle your seat belt, things are going to get bumpy. After Strasburg's sensational debut, I expected nothing less than another double digit, no walk performance. The kid let me down and I'm no longer sure I'd vote him into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. Strasburg was slightly less impressive today than he was in his first start when he threw 94 pitches, 65 for strikes, while striking out 14 and walking none. In Strasburg's debut, he allowed four hits and two earned on a two run home run over seven innings.

Strasburg got the win today to improve to 2-0 but he only managed to go five and a third while throwing 95 pitches and only 52 for strikes. He struck out 8 which is where Bodog set the over/under. He allowed one run on a solo shot by Travis Hafner. But he walked five! Five! 5! Total chaos. Cats and dogs living together. Is he not the Messiah after all? Can he not turn my Gatorade into booze? For Strasburg's first start, I broke down each strikeout. Today, we'll take a look at each walk.

Bottom 4th:

Strasburg walked Carlos Santana on six pitches. He led off with two balls (hehe) before inducing two swinging strikes and then losing Santana on the next two pitches. No word if the ball from his first walk was sent to Cooperstown.

Strasburg walked Travis Hafner on six pitches. He's addicted.

Bottom 5th:
Strasburg walked someone named Anderson Hernandez on five pitches. Anderson was the lucky winner in Section 546 Seat 19 and got to play third base today. Congrats, Anderson.

Bottom 6th:
Strasburg walked Hafner on five pitches.

Strasburg walked Austin Kearns on five pitches. That would be the end of the day for K-Stras™. Drew Storen would relieve him and preserve the lead. For those scoring at home, that's the 10th pick relieving the 1st pick from last year's draft.

Let's all hope Strasburg can rebound from this win and get back to being the greatest pithcer in the history of everything. Godspeed young Jedi.

The Phenom Fights The Tribe

Stephen Strasburg will make the second start of his Hall of Fame career tomorrow against the Cleveland Indians. And just like Custer when he slayed the Indians, I expect Strasburg to do the same. Wait, is that right? I'll get an intern to check my facts on that one. K-Stras™ is coming off an impressive debut where he struck out 14 Pirates with no walks over 7 innings while only throwing 94 pitches. Cynics will claim that it was the perfect match-up because the Pirates are a free-swinging team and I'm sure the same will be said tomorrow after he strikes out 24 Indians. But I'm going to have to agree with Bob Costas on this one and say Strasbrug is the reincarnation of Walter Johnson. Sure, I like hyperbole. What's it to you?

I should probably nerd-up this post before you start to think I'm a complete idiot. It's too late? Oh well. Going into Saturday's games the Pirates had struck out 429 times as a team, only 3 above the league average, though their team OBP of .306 is pretty hilarious. Houston's .288 OBP is just sad. Cleveland is sixth in all of baseball at striking out with 458. Arizona is trying to lap the field, so make sure you tune in if Strasburg pitches against the Diamondbacks.

Cleveland isn't afraid to take a walk, but Strasburg will probably pound the strike zone pretty hard again. Cleveland shouldn't be much of a home run threat either as they are the third worst team at going deep. But I don't think anyone expected Delwyn Young to take Strasburg yard.

Strasburg-mania will be in full effect tomorrow. The Indians sold an additional 8,100 tickets this past week including 2,000 on the day that Strasburg was announced as the starter for tomorrow's game. I'll be watching it live. Feel free to join me on Twitter, we'll take a shot every time he strikes somebody out.

Andy Marte Is Not Good At Third Base

I'm not entirely sure how accurate that is because UZR has him all over the place for his career at third. But I like to throw out blanket statements, so there. Andy Marte summed up the past couple of Indians' seasons in the first inning against the Red Sox tonight. Marte managed to commit three errors almost effortlessly. Or exactly effortlessly. This is the first time a player has committed three errors in one inning since 8/30/2007.

Marte's first error came of the bat of Kevin Youkilis. Marte bobbled the ball allowing Youk to reach first. Later in the inning, Marte booted a ball hit by Mike Cameron and, after tracking it down, threw it wildly to first. The ol' two errors in one play. Tough to top unless you can manage to have the ball ricochet off your head for a homer.

Marte did go 2 for 3 with an RBI and a run scored before he was pinch hit for in his first game back since returning from the disabled list. Maybe he should have spent an extra day on the DL. Oh, and Derwood, being a Yankees fan and all, wanted me to let you know that Andy Marte is one of his favorite players.