Marlins Trade Jose Reyes, et al To Toronto

One way or another, the Marlins sure do like the attention of the Hot Stove league. Last year, on a new tax-funded-stadium high, the Marlins bid on every big ticket free agent like their revenue sharing cash was about to expire. The Marlins will try a different, more Marlin-y approach to the off season this time around.

After a less-than, shall we say, winning start to the new-look Fish, the Marlins traded Hanley Ramirez and Anibal Sanchez during the season. Monday, the Marlins inventoried the team and traded away everything else that wasn't nailed down except for poor Giancarlo Stanton. He just got to know Jose Reyes and Mark Buehrle, the two big names signed last winter. Almost an ace Josh Johnson, John Buck and Emelio Bonafacio plus $4 million are off to Toronto.

Miami gets back 2012 Toronto top five prospects Jake Marisnick and Justin Nicolino, Single-A righty Anthony DeSclafani, noted homophobic-slur-eye-black-wearer Yunel Escobar, Henderson Alvarez and Jeff Mathis for some reason. The deal might work out okay for the Marlins in the long run IF the prospects advance. But try telling that to the fans who had playoff hopes a season ago and just witnessed the payroll drop from $101MM in 2012 to $20MM-ish in 2013. Or try telling that to your remaining Star/notable Major Leaguer/guy with a team hat, the hitter formally known as Mike Stanton.

Alright, I'm pissed off!!! Plain & Simple

— Giancarlo Stanton (@Giancarlo818) November 13, 2012

Woof. That did not go well. The Marlins should tell him about all of the top draft picks they're going to get before they trade him. That should calm him down. It can't be easy to play for a franchise that spent aggressive to win and abruptly gave up after one season. It would be hard to blame Stanton if he went malcontent, Hanley Ramirez-style all over the Marlins asses.

I'm surprised the Marlins haven't tried to trade the new stadium to Oakland or Billy the Marlin to Captain D's.

What Is A Giancarlo Cruz Michael Stanton?

And how did this get by me? I know this isn't exactly breaking news but I'm bored. Apparently, young Marlins slugger Mike Stanton has a whole front half of his name that I didn't know about. The full, and much awesomer, name of the outfielder is Giancarlo Cruz Michael Stanton. Here's the origin story behind the full name which will be what I call him on this site henceforth...

The Jacksonville Suns [published on 4/28/10 - Ed.] right fielder’s name is listed on his birth certificate as “Giancarlo Cruz Michael Stanton,” a long name for a long-ball hitter. The first half was given to him by his mother of Puerto Rican and African-American descent, and the second half is the same name as his Irish father.

By 5th grade, Stanton's name had been abused so much by teachers that he just went by Mike. I like to think that he was so hurt by the mispronunciations that he took his frustrations out on baseballs.

Legend (that I made up) has it that he used to come home so upset that his mom would toss him batting practice to cheer him up. This was where he developed the crushing power he now displays with the Marlins. As a 9-year-old, he routinely belted his mom's 15-mph pitches 400 feet into Panorama City's neighboring town of Rustic Gardens.

When he was 10-years-old he hit a ball so far it landed in a crabby old-man's backyard where he kept a giant, angry dog that chewed up baseballs. Little Mikey Stanton had no idea that that ball was his dad's prized possession and signed by Babe Ruth. Hijinx would ensue but I can't tell you the rest of the story due to copyright laws.

In Giancarlo's first 396 plate appearances with the Marlins, he hit 22 homers and a .259/.326/.507 line. The power is legit and 40 home runs are in his future. Bill James has him pegged for 38 homers and .268/.355/.556 for 2011. I thought I owed you guys some actual facts after wasting your time with the rest of that nonsense.