Curveballs for Jobu 5/14/11

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Mike Laga.

Curveballs for Jobu had to take a brief hiatus to film its role in the upcoming Moneyball movie. It score the sweet role as Billy Beane's office chair.

Tigers 3, Royals 1.
Justin Verlander continued his assault on American League hitter by following his no-hitter up with another 5.2 innings of no-hit ball. Melky Cabrera broke up Verlander's bid to match Johnny Vander Meer as the only pitcher to throw back-to-back no-hitters. Verlander ended up only going 8 innings allowing the one run on two hits and struck out seven. Eric Hosmer went 0-4 with a pair of strikeouts but remains on track to replace BBQ as the best thing about Kansas City.

Phillies 5, Braves 4.
Ryan Howard wen 2-4 with his 9th homer of the season to lead the Phils and put them 5.5 games up on the Braves. The pesky Marlins sit just 3 games back in what should be an interesting NL East race. Eric O'Flaherty took the loss for the Braves. In a somewhat related story, I once drank whiskey until I tried to fight a bar stool at O'Flaherty's.

Marlins 6, Nationals 5 (11).
Marlins youngsters Mike Stanton and Logan Morrison both went yard. But you should probably just head over to MLB.com to watch the highlight of Omar Infante's amazing game winning slide into home and, as long as you're there, watch Roger Bernadina's near-impossible catch.

Red Sox 5, Yankees 4.
Stem cell aided pitching mutant Bartolo Colon went 6 innings allowing 3 runs (2 earned) and took the loss for the Yanks. Clay Buchholz won his third straight even though Daniel Bard and Jonathan Papelbon tried to make it interesting. The ghost of Russel Martin hit his seventh home run of the season.

Indians 5, Mariners 4.
Travis Hafner hit the 2-out, 2-run walk-off home run to continue the Indians unlikely winning ways. And why not? I fully expect Willie Mays Hayes to steal 100 bases for this team. On the other end of the spectrum, Brandon League is making a push to be the worst closer ever. In his last four games, League is 0-4 with 3 blown saves while giving up 10 earned runs on 12 hits and 2 hit batters. Amazingly though, no walks.

Other games, but down here...
Rays 3, Orioles 0.
Rangers 4, Angels 1.
Blue Jays 2, Twins 0.
White Sox 4, A's 3.
Cubs 11, Giants 4.
Reds 6, Cardinals 5 (10).
Mets 6, Astros 4.
Brewers 5, Pirates 2.
Rockies 12, Padres 7.
Dodgers 4, Diamondbacks 3.

Bartolo Colon, Stem Cells And A 95 MPH Fastball

I'm fascinated by this story. And for once, it has nothing to do with Bartolo Colon's ability to eat 47 pounds of buffalo wings without having to unhinge his jaw. Instead, Colon has tossed 37.1 innings for the Yankees while putting up a 2.81 xFIP (3.86 ERA for the Sports Center crowd) and has actually looked like the pitcher he used to be seven years ago.

Turns out that Bart used some rather unorthodox surgery to regain his 95 mile per hour fastball as a 37-year-old (albeit on stadium guns, so, let's call it 92 to be safe). Joseph R. Purita would like to take credit for Colon's return to relevance. I don't blame him either because it sounds like this guy is on to something. Here's a blockquote from the NY Times (I hope they don't charge me for this)...

A doctor in Florida would like to take some of the credit. Joseph R. Purita, an orthopedic surgeon who runs a regenerative medicine clinic in Boca Raton, said he and a team of Dominican doctors that he led treated Colon in April 2010. Purita said he employed what he regards as one of his more pioneering techniques: he used fat and bone marrow stem cells from Colon, injecting them back into Colon’s elbow and shoulder to help repair ligament damage and a torn rotator cuff.

See? I told you Dr. Purita wanted some credit. I'm pretty sure this is going to be a big deal down the line. Yanks GM Brian Cashman admitted that he was unaware of this procedure before he signed Colon and immediately contacted MLB once he found out about the situation.

While I doubt MLB can find any kind of violation against Colon's treatment, the doctor in question has used HGH and platelet-rich plasma therapy to treat ligament injuries. Selig will investigate.

Will this new treatment be a new breakthrough in science to keep players healthy or the next thing banned? I'm obviously in favor of any and all of these new developments in science but I'm also fine with steroids and HGH being administered under the supervision of a doctor. I realize that anything "stem cell" related is still a controversial topic so I dug up a clip of Christopher Reeve on Larry King to help shed some light on the subject.

Krazy Kripples
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Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Craig Grebeck.


(Grebeck autographed 1991 Score. Estimated value: 11 staples)


Yankees 5, Tigers 3. MTD is a full-fledged member of the Bartolo Colon Is Chubby Society (est. 1997), but I don't care if he's brings a bucket of chili to the mound as long as he continues be one of New York's best pitchers. Colon tossed seven innings of three-run ball at Detroit, though he left with the game tied and didn't get the win (PITCHER WINS!). Nick Swisher, who at the plate has recently resembled Ernie Swisher, ripped a go-ahead single in the ninth off Jose Valverde, who stunk.

Nationals 2, Giants 0. It was military appreciation night in Washington, but that's no excuse for anyone to be wearing this jersey:



Redsox 9, Angels 5. Vernon Wells: hr (2), average up to .172. Total money earned from contract in 2011: $9.42.

Braves 6, Brewers 2. Yovani Gallardo had been 3-0 with an 0.96 ERA in six career starters against Atlanta until the Breams beat him up for four walks and five earned Monday. Meanwhile, Jair Jurrjens allowed two earned in 7 2/3 innings and continues to lead all Jairs in ERA (1.52).


Astros at Reds ppd Marge Schott residue



Other games, but down here....

Pirates 4, Padres 3
Dodgers 5, Cubs 2
Whitesox 6, Orioles 2
Athletics 5, Rangers 4 (10)
Marlins 6, Cardinals 5

Curveballs for Jobu 4/28/11

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Steve Lake.


[Lake autographed 1987 Topps. Estimated value: 6 thumb tacks]


[Lake 1991 Studio posing with parrot]


CFJ Note: Jobu took a few days off while MTD discovered the true meaning of April 27.


Yankees 3, Whitesox 1. I feel like an alcoholic uncle sometimes at Jobu: apologizing/asking for forgiveness, showing up to Thanksgiving with my belt out of three of the belt loops. I've done it with players I thought had passed away, or were working at Chevron stations. Even said sorry to Troy Glaus one time. My latest apology goes out to Bartolo Colon. In the AL East preview story, I said if Colon made more than 10 appearances I would eat one of my socks. Colon is halfway there. Wednesday, the righty tossed eight innings of one-run ball and won his second game in as many starts. In 26 innings, Colon has struck out 26 and walked just six and has looked unhittable at times, which begs the question: is he the Yankees best pitcher through the first month of the season? Let me repeat that question in bigger letters, while adding a few words and an exclamation point:

IS BARTOLO COLON THE YANKEES BEST PITCHER IN 2011?!

Braves 7, Padres 0. Tommy Hanson confirmed some information for all of us: the Padres smell like old cheese. Hanson struck out 10 and allowed four singles in seven shut out innings, dropping the Bevacquas to 9-16. San Diego has been shut out seven times and scored 10 runs during its seven-game home stand. Seven!

Dodgers 5, Marlins 4 (10). In LA's second game of the season against the Giants, Andre Ethier went 0-for-4. Since, Ethier has hit in 24 consecutive games after his tenth-inning home run broke the hearts of 17 people in Miami.

Indians 7, Royals 2. And that sound you heard was the Kansas City Royals coming back to the .500 mark, and that sound you will soon hear will be the Kansas City Royals going under .500. Meanwhile, the Tribe are channeling the ghosts of Rachel Phelps, moving to 15-8, three games up on KC and the Tigers in the AL Central, which is beginning to look a lot like the Roswell, GA 25+ Adult Softball D League when Ruso's Renegades won it with a 5-6 record. One other item of note: formerly awful hitter Jeff Francoeur hit his fifth home run and is hitting .330 with a .370 on-base percentage.

Mets 6, Nationals 3. Brian Bixler: run scored.

Cardinals 6, Astros 5. Just what in the name of RBI Baseball-John Tudor is going on in St. Louis? Kyle Lohse threw another seven shut out innings and is 4-1. Lohse led 6-0 when he exited, but Ryan Franklin (10.13 ERA) was Simply Irabuian, allowing two runs without getting an out and three more relievers surrendered three runs in the eighth and ninth. Let's get an Astros fan's opinion of the loss:

Rockies at Cubs ppd Tom Goodwin



Other games, but down here....

Athletics 2, Angels 1 (10)
Pirates 2, Giants 0
Rangers 7, Bluejays 6
Mariners 10, Tigers 1
Orioles 5, Redsox 4
Reds 7, Brewers 6 (10)
Phillies 8, Diamondbacks 4
Devilrays 8, Twins 2

Curveballs for Jobu 4/4/11

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Ray Knight.



Tigers 10, Yankees 7. Well, Bartolo Colon's New York debut went pretty much exactly how most Yankees fans thought it would go. But this edition of Jobu isn't about making fun of Bartolo Colon. It's about making fun of Bartolo Colon a lot. Colon, who impressed in spring training with his "fast ball" and his "pant size", relieved the odor that was Phil Hughes (4 IP, 5 ER) and allowed four runs in four mostly horrible innings. But he did record five strike outs, which is good news for anyone who hung on to Colon in their 2002 keeper league.

Reds 12, Brewers 3. The defending NL Central champs completed the season-opening sweep behind Ryan Hanigan's two-home run, four-RBI day. Miguel Cairo: pinch-hit single, RBI.

Indians 7, Whitesox 1. Ladies and gentleman, the 2011 Cleveland Indians will not go winless, though it's possible no one in attendance Sunday will come forward and admit they witnessed the victory. The Jacobs Field (we don't refer to anything as "Progressive Field" here at Offbase) crowd was announced at 8,726, the lowest in the park's 17 seasons. Those who skipped the matinee missed a great start by Justin Masterson (7 IP, 1 ER), an Indians triple play, the second turned by the franchise since 2008, and a hot dog fight in section 305 (speculation).

Mets 9, Marlins 2. Somebody break up the Metropolitans! Thanks to six shut out innings from R.A. Dickey, the Mets are one game over .500, baby! Check out these post-game quotes from inside a euphoric NY clubhouse:

"We're not thinking about October yet. But we win Tuesday, then you can mark us down as THINKING ABOUT IT." - Jose Reyes

"Did we expect to be tied for second place after the first weekend of the season? No, but this team isn't done winning. We plan on winning again, real soon." - David Wright

"The only people who believed in us were the guys in this clubhouse. But we did it, we beat the Marlins at their own game: baseball." - Manager Terry Collins

Off Base AL East Preview

Offbase editors Derwood Morris and MTD haven't had much luck previewing things lately-MTD incorrectly predicted Gary Discarcina would come out of retirement to help the Angels win the 2009 World Series and Derwood thought Teen Wolf 3 would be the 2010 summer blockbuster. But here are division previews anyway.


Today we take a look at the AL East, a long-ignored division. It's about time these guys got some attention.


Yankees (2010: 95-67)
The wild card winners from a year ago didn't land free agent pitcher Cliff Lee and Andy Pettitte retired, forcing Anthony from Poughkeepsie to nearly overdose on linguine with clam sauce and the Yanks to move Phil Hughes and A.J. Burnett up in the rotation and audition less-desirable options for the Nos. 4 and 5 starters during spring training. The trio of Ivan Nova, Bartolo Colon and Freddy Garcia have been battling through camp for those two spots and it looks like all three will make the opening day roster. It's not clear which two will grab rotation spots, but the Yankees did sign Kevin Millwood to a minor league contract.

Sidney Ponson was unavailable for comment.

Here's something I can guarantee: if Colon makes more than 10 appearances, I'll eat one of my socks. But forget about what's going on at 4 and 5; the Yankees will go as far as ace C.C. Sabathia, Burnett and Hughes will take them. Offensively, New York brings back virtually the same lineup (Jorge Posada to DH, Russell Martin behind the plate) that led the majors in runs scored in 2010 and several players, including Mark Teixiera and Alex Rodriguez, are looking for bounce-back years (they did combine for 63 HR in '10). The emergence of Robinson Cano as the best second baseman in baseball (sorry, Aaron Hill) has added to an already-potent middle of the order, though Joe Girardi refuses to bat Cano third where he belongs. The bullpen is improved as Rafael Soriano was added to set up for King Mariano. Elsewhere in the pen, Joba Chamberlain has some new tattoos. One more thing to talk about:

1. Derek Jeter had a tough 2010 season and is approaching 3,000 hits. I'm not sure if you were aware of those two news items.

Boston (89-73)
The Nation of Redsox (Est. January, 2005) had an exciting off-season as the team added Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez, which goes against Boston's recent history of employing the ugliest people in baseball (see: John Lackey, Jonathan Papelbon, Dustin Pedroia, Kevin Youkilis, Clay Buchholz). Crawford and Gonzalez will only add to an offense that scored the second-most runs in baseball, though the starting pitching after perennial Cy Young candidate John Lester is suspect. Plenty of questions in that rotation:

1. Will Josh Beckett add another extension cord to his neck in time for neck extension cord season?
2. Did Clay Buchholz pass 10th grade chemistry or what?!
3. Can Tim Wakefield become the first 83-year old in baseball history to allow 10 or more stolen bases in a single game?
4. Is that Oil Can Boyd at Radio Shack?

Tampa Bay (96-66)
Last year's division winners lost a ton of talent in Crawford, Jason Bartlett (traded to San Diego), Carlos Pena and Matt Garza (both signed with the Cubs) and Rafael Soriano (signed with the Yankees), but there's some good stuff left for no one to see at Tropicana Field. David Price and Evan Longoria are two of the finest young players in the game and Ben Zobrist (.295/.405/.543 in 2009, .238/.346/.353 in 2010) should be able to bounce back. Tampa also reunited Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez, though league rules don't allow a team to DH two players at once, so one of the two will have to play left field some days.



After Price, the pitching is thin as When's The Last Time I Pitched Big In A Big Game James Shields got lit up a year ago and Jeff Niemann will need to improve on his decent 2010 numbers. The bullpen was one of the best in the game in 2010, but is now missing Soriano. Lefty Randy Choate, now with the Marlins, appeared in 85 games last season and amazingly, Joe Torre was not his manager. Either way, Choate is in Florida, so those 85 games will have to go to someone else. For all three Rays fans' sake, hopefully not to Kyle Farnsworth.

Toronto (85-77)
Hey, it's the Bluejays!!

Baltimore (66-96)
So, Bucky Boy goes 34-23 down the stretch with the Orioles in 2010-the best 57-game mark for the franchise since the 1930s-and a few months later decides to take shots at Derek Jeter, one of the classiest guys in baseball and a future HOFer, and a two-time World Champion general manager, Theo Epstein. But hang on a minute, guys, just hang on. I don't remember saying that. I mean, I probably did say it, but hey, I'm 55-years old, so I might not remember saying it! Hey Buck:

1. If you're going to start babbling nonsense, start a baseball blog, like we did. That way you won't have to backtrack and look like an idiot.

2. Climb above fifth place and then maybe you can take unnecessary shots at the faces of the top two franchises in the division. So, in other words, we'll talk in 2018.

Even Pablo Sandoval Is Getting In Shape?

Let's face it, we're 10 days into the new year and you're actually up three pounds from the time that you announced this was the year you'd finally get in shape. But all you've done is driven by the gym twice and learned how to roll your own breakfast burritos using pancakes, sausage and cookie dough. As long as we're being honest, I never really had much faith in you anyway.

But dammit, I only have a few fat baseball players left in the MLB and I don't appreciate them trying to improve themselves. First Bartolo Colon is attempting a comeback by not being fat and now Pablo Sandoval is trying to shed some of his panda weight to improve on his disappointing 2010 season. Here are the deets from Henry Schulman from the SF Gate...

Dunston has not seen Sandoval this winter, but Rich Aurilia has.

Aurilia lives in Phoenix and told me today he saw Pablo at a shopping mall just before Christmas. Sandoval told him he had lost 17 pounds.

Last week, Sandoval was in Venezuela and held a news conference at a baseball museum. According to reports in the Venezuelan papers, Sandoval said he lost 16 "kilos" with the goal of dropping 24 by the start of spring training. I've been told that something got lost in the translation and he meant "pounds." Sixteen kilos would be more than 35 pounds. Twenty-four kilos would be nearly 53 pounds. Nobody's expecting Sandoval to slim down that much.

Let's hope something was lost in translation. I'll be crushed if Sandoval went all Al Roker on us and looks like a deflated balloon version of himself playing third base. I've grown to love the Sandoval who roams the infield like a Hungry-Hungry-Hippo with what appears to be a mustard stain of his jersey and/or pants.

Giants fans surely will be pleased that Sandoval is working on bouncing back after his slash line tumbled from .330/.387/.556 to .268/.323/.409 in just one year. But as a fan of fat baseball players, I'll be sending care packages to Bobby Jenks and hoping for a David Wells comeback.

Bartolo Colon Attempting Comeback By Not Being Fat

I've made fun of Bartolo Colon over the years because I find fat athletes hilarious and he wasn't a very good pitcher. Colon threw 62.1 innings in 2009 for the White Sox and hasn't thrown over 100 innings since 2005. But it was a joy to watch that round Dominican try to find the strike zone or Weeble Wobble his way over to cover first base. Well those glory days might be all behind us now friends. The news coming out of Cleveland is that Colon is planning on pitching again but 40 pounds slimmer.

I know. I, too, am disappointed at the lost opportunity for any future fat Bartolo Colon jokes. Unless, of course, he falls off the Ho Hos wagon. *fingers crossed* Let's take a look at a few of the items Colon had to remove from his normal diet to lose the weight with an assist from our friends at This Is Why You're Fat...

Burrito Unicorn

He didn't actually give these up choice; he ate them out of extinction. Now you will only be able to tell your children stories about the mystical and glorious Burrito Unicorn.

Doughnut Pizza

Move over Wheaties, there's a new breakfast of champions in town. Nothing gets you out of the gate and ready for a productive day like a sixer of PBR and a donut the size of a pizza. Ready, set, nap.

Philly Taco

Okay, that one actually looks awesome. That is a Philly cheesesteak wrapped in a slice of pizza. Somebody should give the inventor some kind of award. Like a bronzed cholesterol.

Pop Tart Sushi

This is the only type of sushi Colon used to eat. It's crushed up pop tarts rolled in fruit roll ups. His favorite was the Dynamite S'mores Roll.

The 50 Pound Burger

Bart was a big fan of any meal that required a chainsaw as part of the table setting.