Illustrating Plate Appearances To Ruben Amaro

Crossing Broad recently uncovered that Phillies GM (General effing Manager) Ruben Amaro Jr. doesn't really understand the difference between plate appearances and at bats. While discussing Jimmy Rollins' run at Mike Schmidt's Phillies' hits record, RAJ dropped this unknowledge bomb on us...

“Yeah, we were checking it out. In fact Schmitty was in the booth yesterday when we were talking about it, and, um, I think it’s about a thousand difference in, ah, plate appearances. Pretty amazing. But their batting averages aren’t that different, which is kind of… weird. I don’t quite understand it.”

That man runs a Major League Baseball front office. Into the ground but the fact remains the same. The 28-36 Phillies are only 6.5 games out of first in the NL East. So, maybe they can turn things around. I designed this to help Ruben Amaro Jr. with his unsurprising lack of understanding baseball terms.

Obviously, there are some other factors that can play into the discrepancy of PAs and ABs but baby steps. Hope this helps!

Chase Utley Close To Return!!!

Chase Utley is on the verge of rejoining the Phillies and a special place in my heart. I'm not sure when or how I became president of the Chase Utley fan club but apparently I have a mild obsession with him and his underratedness. I'm also not allowed within 100 feet of him according to a document I had to sign and have notarized. But enough about my legal issues, let's talk about Chase. He could be activated in time for Monday's game according to this AP article that I will now blockquote...

The five-time All-Star second baseman returned to the team Sunday and appears close to being activated off the disabled list. Utley hasn't played this season because of tendinitis in his right knee.

He played in his fourth straight rehab game Saturday night at Single-A Clearwater. He hit .281 with one homer in nine games.

Utley declined comment before Sunday's game against Texas. The Phillies say Utley will meet with head trainer Scott Sheridan and team doctor Michael Ciccotti before deciding the next course of action.

I've written ad nauseam about the lack of MVP support Utley has received over the years despite being the second best player in the National League behind Albert Pujols for much of his career. So I won't waste anymore space on that here.

Utley only played in 115 games in 2010 and posted the lowest wOBA (a very respectable .373) of his career for a season in which he played over 100 games. He was still the fourth best second baseman according to fWAR (5.2) in 2010 even though he played in 39 fewer games than the third best and 45 fewer than the first and second.

The Phillies must be almost as excited as me to get Utley back from the disabled list. Even though the Phils have the second best record in all of baseball, they're getting the second worst production from their second basemen (-0.6 WAR) besting only the Twins.

Just to be clear, my letters to Chase Utley were nowhere as creepy as Mac's love letter.



I used better stickers.

Ryan Howard Has Another Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Death, taxes and Ryan Howard Golden Sombreros. I've managed to avoid two of those so far. But Howard just can't seem to stop racking up strikeouts once he steps into the batter's box. Howard apparently enjoyed wearing the giant hat so much on Thursday that he just had to sport it again. I try to do something special for every Howard four strike out gem, so here's a picture of B.A. Baracus wearing a sombrero.

Just after that photo was taken, Face chloroformed him to sleep so the A-Team could fly him to Arkansas to help a mom and pop restaurant battle a surprisingly well armed landlord. But about Howard...

Top 2nd: Howard struck out looking against Tim Stauffer. He apparently broke ESPN.com at the same time and I couldn't find another pitch-by-pitch account of the game. Okay, I didn't try, you got me. So I just assume Howard watched three pitches and then his batting helmet spun around on his head.

Top 4th: Howard struck out swinging against Stauffer. Foul, foul, swinging strike. Damn, I love Howard.

Top 6th: Howard struck out swinging against Stauffer again. He did manage to get to a full count before striking out. So this at bat wasn't as much fun.

Top 9th: Howard struck out swinging against Heath Bell. I like that he didn't need the extra innings for the sombrero. That's a classy move.

Top 11th: Howard hits the go ahead two-run double that put the Phills up for good. He even got to be the hero.

Ryan Howard's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

This Ryan Howard sombrero has me bummed out for two reasons. 1) I meant to place a wager with my fellow strikeout junkie Mike from The Golden Sombrero about whether Howard or Mark Reynolds would reach four K's in one game first. 2) Howard was so close to the 5K platinum sombrero. Come on!

Usually when either Howard or Reynolds records a sombrero, I reward my dear readers with a picture of a dog or mule wearing a sombrero but I'm too angry this time. So here's a cat in a hat...

Now let's all move along to Howard's futility at the dish...

Top 1st: Howard struck out swinging against Mat Latos. I think we're all on the same page here, right? Latos' parents had to be some kind of hippies to leave that other "T" off of his name. It really drives me crazy. Ugh, I hope Howard doesn't strike out against him again...

Top 3rd: Howard struck out swinging against Latos again. Son of a...

Top 4th: Howard struck out looking against Latos. Now he's just effing with me.

Top 7th: Howard struck out swinging against Cory Luebke. On three pitches.

Then, with no concern for my own jubilance, Howard grounded out in the top of the 9th.

This isn't over, Ryan...

The Sky Is Falling: Luis Castillo

The Mets finally cut ties with one of Omar Minaya's ill fated contract extension recipients in Luis Castillo and it appears that he is being snatched up by the Phillies. The Mets will pay Castillo the final $6 million they still owe him to go play for a division rival. Hardball Talk breaks it down...

He’s a shell of the player Omar Minaya traded for and then signed to a four-year, $25 million deal and the deterioration of Castillo’s once-excellent speed has magnified his career-long lack of power, but last season he drew more walks (39) than strikeouts (25) while posting a .337 on-base percentage that was solidly above the NL average of .328 and got on base at a .366 clip during his entire four-year run with the Mets.

Castillo's value is entirely based on his ability to get on base at a decent clip but his days of OBP-ing over .400 are over a decade old now.

The signing makes sense for the Phillies since it won't cost them much and fills a now glaring need for depth in the infield. My initial thought, of course, is "OH MY GOD Chase Utley IS DEAD!" The speculation about Utley missing the entire season already had me pretty anxious but now I'm in full blown "refilling my xanax prescription" panic attack mode.

I'm not a Phillies fan so the fear of having to replace a projected 4.8 WAR player with a basic replacement level player doesn't bother me so much. But as one of Utley's better known stalkers, I'm quite worried. Apparently my get well basket of HGH infused muffins didn't do the trick.

The Sky Is Falling: Chase Utley

I think it has become fairly well documented across the Interwebs that I am a bit of a Chase Utley supporter, even though I think some of the language in the restraining order paints an unfair picture of me. So imagine the immediate dismay that washed over me when I heard the Phillies' second baseman was already experiencing tendinitis in his knee. Utley, the consummate professional, believes this is just a minor blip...

Utley said yesterday that surgery has not even been discussed as an option. In fact, Utley said, he has played through worse pain during his career. If the Phillies were in the middle of the regular season instead of at the beginning of the Grapefruit League slate, he said he would be in the lineup.

"I hope it's just a minor blip," Utley said. "I think we have the right people checking it out. I think the work ethic is going to be there in terms of trying to improve it. So in that aspect I think it's all good."

Utley was derailed from another potential 7 WAR season in 2010 when thumb surgery wiped out his July and half of August. With any luck, rest and rehab will take care of this bout with tendinitis and Utley will have a healthy 2011. I'm not sure I'm emotionally stable enough to survive an injury plagued season or, god forbid, the beginning of the steep second baseman decline. Luckily, Dave Cameron doesn't seem to think Utley will fall to the same fate as Roberto Alomar or Ryne Sandberg.

PECOTA projects a healthy Utley to be the best second baseman in baseball for 2011 and worth over a full win more than Robinson Cano (4.7-3.4). But 40 points of OBP and a run's worth of defense will do that. Even with a clean bill of health, my championing of an Utley MVP seems almost futile now.

As much as it pains me to say, it might be time to turn my lack-of-MVP-consideration fascination to Ryan Zimmerman.

J-Roll Has A Stake In Justin Bieber

Jimmy Rollins doesn't want to be just another former baseball player after he retires. He has big plans involving the music industry. Now, I couldn't name a Justin Bieber song but he seems like a safe bet since that kid is always trending on Twitter and Tom Brady apparently stole his haircut. Rollins has tried to develop his own music stars but let's just say he isn't quite P-Diddy yet so he turned his attention to buying in on established artists. And I'm using "artist" in the loosest sense with Bieber. Here's the deal...

Rollins owns 5 percent of the publishing rights to Justin Bieber's "Eenie Meenie," a hit duet with Jamaican chubster Sean Kingston. The song appears on Bieber's platinum album, "My World 2.0."

*snip*

Rollins indicated that his investment in Bieber's song cost him about $20,000. Rollins' attorney, Christopher Cabott, who also teaches entertainment and sports law at Temple, yesterday presented to the assemblage a formula that, for that 5 percent stake, recoups about $10,000 per million units sold.

I guess the $20,000 investment in Bieber isn't a bad move for a guy who bought a $350,000 Bentley with his 2008 World Series check. Instead of me alienating my 13-year-old girl fan base by filling the rest of this post with Bieber jokes, I decided to focus on my other problem with the Phillies short stop. And if you read me at all, you should know where I'm going with this.

I'm still upset about the 2007 NL MVP results. That voting was worse than a grown man buying a single ticket to a Justin Bieber concert. Let's just move right past the fact that Albert Pujols should have won with his .327/.429/.568 line instead of finishing NINTH, and focus on the Phillies. Rollins hit 30 home runs and a .296/.344/.531 line for a good .378 wOBA. Sure, maybe he deserved some MVP votes but he wasn't the most valuable player on his own team let alone in the league.

Ryan Howard finished fifth thanks to 47 homers even though he struck out 37.6% of the time. But the real crime here was that Chase Utley finished eighth in the voting despite finishing both third in WAR (7.7) and wOBA (.420) while playing Gold Glove defense at second (which he didn't win either).

It boggles my mind how Utley doesn't get more MVP love. He's been one of the top five players in the National League for the past five years. He's clearly the Phillies best positional player but still can't beat out Howard in MVP voting. It makes me sad. And whether you agree with me or not, you have to be impressed that I managed to turn a Justin Bieber post into a Chase Utley love fest.

At least Utley finally got to be on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

Cliff Lee's All Time Competition From Ages 32-36

It didn't escape me in my posting absence that Cliff Lee spurned the Rangers and Yankees to re-join the Phillies on a 5-year, $120 million deal. But by now, you've all heard every opinion possible about the matter. Jeez, Craig Calcaterra's crew at Hardball Talk wrote 16 posts about him in 18 hours. Instead of figuring out Texas' and New York's contingency plans or why the Angels are sitting on their hands, I wanted to take a look at what the Phillies hope they're getting over the next five years in a pitcher who will start his contract as a 32-year-old.

My research might not stand up to some of those who practice the Sabr science for a profession but I think it's a good once over for someone losing roughly $1.49 every month on this site. Also, Fangraphs WAR doesn't go past 1980 in the history annals so I'm using the similarly awesome stats from Baseball-Reference. Obviously, I didn't include pitchers from the deadball era because none of them lived to be 32.[citation needed]

1. Bob Gibson
Years: 1968-1972 WAR: 43.9 ERA: 2.35 ERA+: 150
The HOF Cardinal pitcher had an unbelievable five year stretch after he turned 32. His top WAR seasons were in 1968 (11.9), 1969 (11.0), 1970 (8.7) and 1972 (7.6). Nobody can be expecting Cliff Lee to touch these numbers but it could be possible Lee is hitting his peak on the typical wrong side of 30.

2. Randy Johnson
Years: 1997-2001 WAR: 37.4 ERA: 2.64 ERA+: 174
Technically, I'm cheating here. Johnson's first season that he started as a 32-year-old was 1996 but he only tossed 61.1 innings. If I swap out Johnson's 2002 season for his 1996 season, he ends up with a 30.2 WAR which would still be tied for second place. While I have no reason to expect Lee to be healthy for his 32-year-old season or even his 37-year-old season, it's always nice to appreciate how good The Big Unit was after he turned 30 or 32 or 37 or 42. His 91.8 career WAR should be a first class ticket to the Hall of Fame even if Bert Blyleven is still flying standby with his 90.1 WAR.

3. Roger Clemens
Years: 1995-1999 WAR: 30.2 ERA: 3.27 ERA+: 145
Clemens rollercoasted his single seasons WARs over a 24-year career accumulating an insane 128.4 of them. It's hard to predict how his alleged performance enhancing or sleeping with under aged country music stars will affect his Hall of Fame candidacy but the numbers should put him in by a landslide. These are all probably topics for another post but the Phils would be thrilled with that kind of performance over Lee's contract even if some indiscretions involving Taylor Swift popped up years from now.

4. Warren Spahn
Years: 1953-1957 WAR: 30.1 ERA: 2.79 ERA+: 132
I included the "liveball" wins leader because, well, he's the liveball wins leader. His 101 complete games is the closest to rivaling Gibson's 122 over the 32-36 year-old age bracket but Spahn posted a 1.80 K/BB ratio over that period and Cliff Lee might be able to top it with his eyes closed.

5. Kevin Brown
Years: 1997-2001 WAR: 30.0 ERA: 2.66 ERA+: 155
Brown had an even better 5-year streak that began just a year earlier in 1996 and ended with his 6.5 WAR as a 35-year-old. His 64.8 WAR makes him an interesting case for the Hall of Fame even though he only finished in the top three of Cy Young voting twice (both in his 32-36 range) during his 19 seasons while never winning it. Lee has already won one but will have to duel with a teammate for any future award. Either way, the Phillies would be more than happy to boast two or three of the National League's best pitchers in the upcoming seasons.

6. Phil Niekro
Years: 1971-1975 WAR: 30.0 ERA: 2.97 ERA+: 128
I could have left the list at a reasonable five but I felt like I'd be letting Rob Neyer down if I didn't include a knuckleballer on the list. And I wish I had a better reason than that because Niekro's 2.17 K/BB was only better than Spahn's aforementioned 1.90 ratio. Am I secretly hoping Lee starts throwing a knuckleball? Perhaps. Are the Phillies? Not so much.

7. David Cone
Years: 1995-1999 WAR: 23.8 ERA: 3.32 ERA+: 139
Mmmhmm. Which brings us to...

8. Greg Maddux
Years: 1998-2002 WAR: 23.7 ERA: 2.88 ERA+: 152
Welcome to the confusing stat portion of our program. Maddux had the third best ERA+ of this bunch and second best K/BB ratio (4.16) to Johnson's (4.48) but doesn't have the shiny WAR of his colleagues. Fangraphs WAR (fWAR) has him at 31.1 which, I assume, does a better job of evaluating his "Gold Glove" defense using UZR instead of Total Zone. Take a deep breath, don't let all of that nerdiness get to your head at once. However you look at Maddux's performance from 32 to 36, the Phillies would not regret their payroll splurge. But don't be surprised if a cheesesteak will run you around $33 inside the stadium, it's player number integration pricing!

The Math
It might be presumptuous to compare Cliff Lee to some of the greatest pitchers in baseball history but there is a case to be made that Lee could be great into his mid-thirties. Baseball-Reference has Lee as about a 5.5 WAR player per year over the past three seasons. Fangraphs has him as almost a 7 WAR player per season over that time. Let's say Lee ends up being a 6 WAR player over his Philly contract. If a player on the free market is worth $6 million per point of WAR, that would make Lee worth $180 million over five years instead of the $120 Philadelphia is paying him (and that's without inflation!).

Assuming Lee stays healthy over the next five years is a big leap of faith. But he will be playing with Doc Halladay who is two years into a pace that would make him the second greatest pitcher between the ages of 32 and 36. Doc might have some staying healthy secrets he can share. Or he's just some kind of freak of nature. Either way, I'm betting Lee stays healthy enough to make this contract look like a relative steal for the Phillies. Note: I'm a big sucker for WAR and terrible at gambling, actual results may vary.

Chase Utley And "It's Always Sunny" Together At Last

If you're a fan of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia and this blog, you probably know that Mac and I share some special feelings for Phillies' second baseman Chase Utley. While Mac actually writes love letters to Chase, I tend to simply dedicate 500 words here and there on why he deserves more MVP love than he gets. I mean, come on. The highest he's ever finished was 7th in the MVP voting even though he's been the second best player in the NL since 2006 and the best second baseman in all of baseball over that time. The poor man can't even win an effing Gold Glove.

Okay, sorry. This isn't the space for that rant. In last night's It's Always Sunny episode "The Gang Gets Stranded In The Woods," Chase Utley makes a cameo appearance along with former MVP Ryan Howard (who also received a second place MVP vote this year despite not be as valuable as Utley; anger rising). The gist of this episode is that the gang is headed to Atlantic City for an animal adoption fundraiser which will be attended by the two Phillies stars. Of course, hijinx ensues.

Here's the clip of Utley and Howard watching Dennis and Charlie get hammered...



That clip might not last long seeing as how I don't have the expressed written consent of MLB or FX. Either way, it was pretty funny even if Utley and Howard played it pretty safe. I'm still waiting for the episode that features Utley, Mac and myself getting wasted and talking about on base percentage and Ultimate Zone Rating. *fingers crossed*

BBA NL Walter Johnson Ballot

Baseball's award season is upon us and we finally have a vote that counts for something this year. We're proud members of the Baseball Blogger Alliance and they've been kind enough to give us ballots. The only thing the BBWAA ever gave us was a sweet deal on caravan but the wheels fell off. Today we'll be unveiling our NL Walter Johnson ballot for pitcher of the year. Note: I completely ignored wins.

1. Roy Halladay
Halladay made his move to the National League from the AL East and dominated like everyone thought he would. The workhorse threw 250.2 innings for the Phillies and posted a 2.44/3.01/2.92 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) line or a 6.6 WAR if you prefer. His WAR, 2.93 SIERA and 7.30 K/BB ratio led all NL starters. Plus there was that no-hitter. World dominance, people, world dominance.

2. Adam Wainwright
The Cardinals pitcher was tremendous but there is still a pretty good gap between him and Halladay. Wainwright finished the year with a 2.42/2.86/3.14 line and a 3.13 SIERA. His 6.1 WAR was fourth behind my next two balloteers but it's more of a negligible difference plus he tossed that over 230.1 innings. Wainwright was another one of the regrettable pieces traded away by the Braves. He made a shade under $5 million but was worth about $24.6 million and is signed for the cheap next year with some favorable (for the Cardinals) options. Which is good because St. Louis is going to have to hand Albert Pujols the keys to the Arch soon to re-sign him. And yes, I assume the Arch is some kind of spaceship.

3. Ubaldo Jimenez
Jimenez jumped out to a big lead in wins and stats before the All Star Game but came crashing back down to Earth. He finished with a respectable 2.88/3.10/3.73 line and a 6.3 WAR all while battling hitter friendly Coors Field. I also just like saying the name "Ubaldo."

4. Josh Johnson
Johnson led the NL with a 2.30 ERA and a 2.41 FIP. He did toss fewer innings than anyone else on this list by a pretty healthy margin. Johnson threw 183.2 innings and the next closest in the guy I have fifth with 212.1 innings. But when Johnson was pitching, he was excellent. The 6.3 WAR and 3.07 SIERA were good for second in the League.

5. Tim Lincecum
"The Freak" won't win his third consecutive pitcher of the year award but that doesn't mean he didn't have another great season. Lincecum led the NL in strikeouts with 231 and tossed a 3.43/3.15/3.21 line over 212.1 innings. His 5.1 WAR accurately, according to me, placed him fifth among NL starters.

Cincinnati at Philadelphia

As soon as I start a baseball blog, the Angels miss the playoffs for the first time since 2006. I hope you like your post-season previews filled with animosity and tears.

The first National League playoff game will kick off around 4:07 on Wednesday. That's right, I'm still on Central time. Let's start the Chase Utley love fest...

My Completely Biased Opinion.
I've been accused of having an unhealthy obsession with Chase Utley. While his wife has sent me some pretty strongly worded cease and desist emails, I'll continue to champion his MVP worthiness. Utley has been, aside from Pujols and now maybe Votto, the best player in the National League for years. How he doesn't get more MVP love than, oh say, Ryan Howard boggles my mind. The Phillies are a force to be reckoned with in the playoffs because...

Just Some of the Facts M'am.
The Phils rotation starts with Doc Halladay and his Cy Young 2.44/3.01/2.92 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) line and Cole Hamels sporting a 3.06/3.67/3.43 line and Roy Oswalt and his 2.76/3.27/3.45 line. Oh and Oswalt is pitching a 1.74 ERA since coming over from the hapless Astros. I like Jay Bruce and Joey Votto and all of the young talent the Reds have to offer. They're simply outclassed by the Phils and Dusty Baker doesn't help the cause with his bullpen mismanagement.

Prediction.
While it's hard for me to root against Posey's Giant, the Phillies might be the most dangerous team in the post-season. The rotation can't be matched and the lineup is solid . Phils via 3 game murder.

Jayson Werth Wants Every Penny He Can Get

Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth is about to hit free agency at the end of the season and figures to be one the most sought after properties during the hot stove period. Werth bounced around as a prospect between the Blue Jays and Dodgers before realizing his potential in Philadelphia in 2007. Since joining the Phightins', he has 88 homers and a .280/.378/.498 line. The 31-year-old outfielder will depart the brotherly love of Philly during free agency while seeking a Jason Bay-esque contract that he won't live up to and the team will regret for 3 years.

But Jayson is certainly chasing the cash. The Phils could offer an extension but Raul Ibanez is eating all of Philly's payroll like a stray goat in a recycling yard. And my 4th grade teacher said I'd never master a simile. It doesn't really matter though, Werth wants the money, yo. Werth has reportedly cut ties with his former agency, the Beverly Hills Sports Council, and is seeking new representation.

Shouldn't be hard for the second best free agent outfielder to find a new agent, right? Not so fast hot shot. Werth can't land Boras or the Levinsons because he doesn't want to kick out that 5%. You want 3% of his cantract? Shoot him an email. I did. And Master P, if you're reading this, I want a finder's fee.

Okay, it's his free agent market after Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee sign somewhere. But if they both end up Yankees, Werth won't need that extra 2% to cover New York taxes and the cost of take out and cigarettes. That might not be entirely true, he'll probably end up in Los Angeles.

Ryan Howard's Platinum Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

I went on a little strikeout vacation and missed 6 Golden Sombreros between August 11-16 and for that, I apologize. With everybody striking out at a ridiculous pace, I ran out of pinata blooper videos and tequila jokes. But if there was anything to snap me out of my funk, it was Ryan Howard's performance last night.

Howard snagged the Olympic Rings in a mind blowing 0-7, 5-strikeout day at the plate. His check swing punchout in the 14th inning drew his ire prompting some helmet tossing and wild gesturing. Which of course led to his ejection. Then Raul Ibanez replaced the swing and miss prone slugger at first base and Roy Oswalt made his left field debut.

The real shame in this is that Howard had 7 plate appearances and was robbed of a potential 8th. I could be writing Howard's Horn or Titanium Sombrero right now. While I try to remain positive that Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds have a 6 strikeout game in them somewhere, let's take a look at Howards' day of futility...

Bottom 1st: Howard struck out looking against Bud Norris. Howard wasted no time but neither did Chase Utley who struck out swinging right before Howard. Did the Phillies rush their meat of the order back from the DL too soon? I can see this kind of slump for Howard but not Chase! I refuse to believe he's healthy.

Bottom 6th: Howard struck out swinging against Norris. Howard mixed in a fly out in the 3rd to keep things interesting.

Bottom 8th: Howard struck out swinging against Gustavo Chacin.

Bottom 10th: Howard struck out swinging against Fernando Abad. Howard is an equal opportunity swinger and misser, he doesn't care if I've heard of the pitcher or not.

Bottom 14th: Howard struck out swinging against Mark Melancon. This was the infamous check swing call that went against Howard causing him to go a wee bit crazy all over third base umpire Scott Barry. He threw his bat and helmet and charge after Barry flashing what I thought were gang signs. But I came to my senses and remembered this isn't the NBA.

Not a good night for Ryan Howard but I had a blast. Sure, I was denied a Titanium Sombrero by a fly out, foul out and overzealous umpire but this certainly rejuvenated my appreciation for a hitter sucking as bad as possible at the plate. Thank you, Ryan Howard.

Jayson Werth's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Google Chrome auto-filled Jayson Werth's Golden Sombrero for me but I can't find any record of me writing one for him. He had a GS on May 30th but I didn't write it up or Blogger ate my post. Which, I can only assume, was hilarious and groundbreaking. Werth batted clean up for the Phils tonight and did his disabled teammate Ryan Howard proud by going 0-5 with 4 strikeouts.

Usually this is the point where I post a pinata-gone-wrong video or talk about drinking cheap tequila with a donkey. I'm trying something new tonight and I'm writing this post sober and jackass free. I'm just kidding, I've been drinking all day and eating cans with this goat in a hat.

Let's check out Jayson Werth's day at the dish...

Top 1st: Werth struck out swinging against Sean West. Sean West is a former 1st round pick out of Shreveport and is 6'8, 260 pounds. I'm not sure if he's a legit prospect or a failed potential linebacker for LSU.

Top 5th: Werth struck out swinging against West. Legit prospect?

Top 7th: Werth struck out looking against Burke Badenhop.

Top 8th: Werth struck out swinging against Brian Sanches. Shouldn't I have heard of any of these pitchers?

He's Coming... Domonic Brown Edition

The number one prospect in the minors was called up by the Phillies today after Shane Victorino hit the disabled list. Dom Brown will make his major league debut in right field for the Phils tonight. Brown was selected in the 20th round in 2006 due to either his move from Florida to Atlanta or his commitment to attend the University of Miami where he would also play wide receiver. But that would be the Phillies gain as the 22-year-old moved quickly through their system. Between AA and AAA this year, Bron has 20 home runs and a .327/.391/.589 slash line.

As much as prospects debuting in the bigs excites me, this graduation is even more special for me. Brown's move the the majors means there is a new top prospect in the minors. Any guesses? Should be obvious. Keith Law tweeted today that Mike Trout will be taking over those honors. Mike Trout is already my favorite player in the history of baseball but, um, no pressure kid.

UPDATE: In Brown's first at bat he hit an RBI double off of the wall.

Shot Of The Night: Site News Edition

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Before we get to last night's shot, I have a little house cleaning to do. There might not be much posting this weekend. Both Derwood and myself will be away from the Internet for much of it. Derwood is in the process of moving into his new Atlanta mansion (I have dibs on the basement) and won't have the Internet for a few days. I'm attending a friend's all day birthday extravaganza which includes laser tag and Hooters. I'm pretty sure he thinks he's turning 13 again. So MTD is going to strap on the old booze bag and see what happens. My early prediction is that I get thrown out of laser tag and Hooters.

This might be the last post for a while so drink up. Last night's shot of the night was a Doc Holliday: 1 shot Jagermeister® herbal liqueur, 1 shot Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey Single barrel, 1 shot orange juice, Dr. Pepper® soda. I always thought orange juice plus Jager were the ingredients for a "throwing up on a fire hydrant." Maybe that's just me. Anyway, it's in honor of Roy Halladay.

Halladay picked up only his 11th win of the season by tossing 8 innings of 5-hit, 1-walk shutout baseball. He struck out 9 and lowered his ERA to 2.28 for the year. Obviously, Ubaldo Jimenez has the shiny record and Josh Johnson has the ridiculous ERA but by season's end I'd still bet on Halladay being the best pitcher in the league. J.C. Romero also threw 7 pitches for the Phils last night. I felt you needed to know that.

Honorable Mention: Kelly Johnson
Johnson picked up the 3rd cycle of the season. Johnson actually hit his single in the 8th inning to complete the cycle which included a ground rule double. He was also hit by a pitch so he really reached base in 5 different ways.

Shot Of The Night

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Tonight's shot of the night is a Red Snapper: 1 oz Crown Royal Canadian whisky, 1 oz amaretto liqueur, 2 oz cranberry juice. I do enjoy the occasional Red Snapper or anything with Crown in it. There was an amazing pitching duel and then whatever the opposite of that is. Lets do some toasting. The honorees are Travis Wood and Roy Halladay.

Travis Wood gets the top billing tonight taking a perfect game into the 9th inning. I got to the party I was attending and put the game on just in time for Chooch to spoil both the perfect game and the no-hitter with a double. They don't call me Jinxy McGee for nothing. But the rookie Red pitcher was fantastic nonetheless in his third start. He went 9 innings and gave up just the one hit and zero runs. He also had 8 strikeouts to go with no walks to earn a no decision because he was pitching against...

Roy Halladay is never one to be outdone. Halladay went ahead and threw his usual 9 shutout innings to also earn a no decision. Halladay gave up 5 hits and 1 walk while striking out 9. I'm not sure if anybody has noticed but Halladay's WAR (4.6) is higher than CY Young favorites Josh Johnson (4.4) and Ubaldo Jiminez (3.6).

Dishonorable Mention: Scott Kazmir

I'd have to check but I'm guessing this is the worst starting pitching line of the season. Kazmir went 5 miserable innings serving up 11 hits, 3 walks, 3 home runs and 13 earned runs. I'm convinced Scioscia left him out there in hopes Kazmir would spontaneously combust. I don't see anyway that the Angels can keep running Kazmir out there every 5 days. However it happened, he's done. It's painful to watch. I've seen pitching machines at batting cages have more success getting people out than Kazmir this year. Sure, maybe it was against me and perhaps I have some poor eye-hand but still...

Shot Of The Night

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Tonight we're bringing back the Big Red: 1/2 oz Irish cream, 1/2 oz Goldschlager® cinnamon schnapps for the shot of the night, even though it's disgusting. And it's in honor of Joey Votto.

I detailed Joey Votto's All Star snub earlier and the kid backed me up today. Votto went 3-4 with 2 homers and 2 RBI to raise his slash line to .318/.418/.599. If you don't believe that he should be the starting first baseman for the NL, we can't be friends.

Omar Infante: 0-4, 2 strikeouts.

Honorable Mention: Roy Halladay
Halladay threw another complete game. His bullpen management is fantastic. Halladay gave up 1 run on 5 hits while striking out 7 and lowering his ERA to 2.33. Oh, he also only threw 93 pitches. I'm not sure he's human.

Not Chase!!!

Chase Utley will miss 8 weeks after having thumb surgery. I can only assume the thumb was ripped off by Big Foot in a scrum that Chase dominated.

I've kind of come to terms with Chase not getting MVP votes but this will definitely cost him the Gold Glove. And for that I'm...

:(

And I hate emoticons.

In other site news, I'm stuck in Baton Rouge and both the Internet and AT&T hate me. It will be a miracle if I can publish this post. I'll be back in New Orleans tomorrow and I'll catch you up on the Shots of the Night and any missed Sombreros.

Chase Utley Summons Jobu

I know the blogs have already covered this story here, here and here. But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Chase Utley turning to voodoo to cure his recent hitting slump. After all, our roundup is named Curveballs For Jobu. So when Chase decided to build a voodoo shrine to help bust his slump, I gots to write about it.

Utley hasn't hit a home run since May 20th and was hitting a mere .180 over the past 25 games. Somehow, he has managed to escape any bashing from Phillies' fans. An impressive feat in it's own right. But the All Star second baseman needed to do something to break out of his slump. When in doubt, it's voodoo time.

The Zo Zone describes it for us...

Three of the bats formed a triangle. At the top of the triangle sat the Red Bull (the tin placed atop it), apple, orange, banana and vitamins.

Nice handy work, Chase.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied.

But those who know say Utley was the culprit.

I live in New Orleans, I know voodoo works. But that's one messed up offering he's making. Red Bull, fruit, vitamins and a can of dip? No money or booze or virgins? Yikes. Chase should at least rum up that offering some. Although, I hear you can't trust Ross Gload around free booze. And we all know it's very bad to steal Jobu's rum.