President Obama, Homer

In between State dinners, policy signings and the occasional mud slinging that comes with campaigning for President, President Obama spoke at a Minor League stadium that plays home to a Washington Nationals affiliate. 

The President is just as well known as a White Sox fan as he is well known for being an incredibly polarizing political figure. But this is not a politics blog, so I'll keep the politicking to myself.

 "I want to congratulate the Washington Nationals for bringing playoff baseball to D.C.," Obama said. "You guys are looking good. I am looking forward to a White Sox Nationals World Series." (Linky link-a-thon)

Can't fault Mr. Obama for wanting to see his beloved White Sox in the World Series, well, actually I can considering the still employ one A.J. Pierzynski, but that's another bowl of Hatey Charms Captain Hate Count Hateo......Spahateios that I will probably at some point get into at an undisclosed time and place.

Ever since President Taft threw out a ceremonial first pitch on April 14th 1910, each President has followed suit. With our last President being a former big league club owner, and now Obama wearing his Pale Hose love on his sleeve, baseball is more woven into the national fabric than ever before. And Bud Selig couldn't be happier, as I'm sure he is eyeing up the tax breaks he could stumble upon after he retires. If he retires. He better retire.


I for one enjoy having a homer baseball fan as a President, it makes him more personable in my completely non partisan opinion. Of course, that is what a President is supposed to do. Damnit, I've been had again. What a cruel, cruel trick. I guess I'll just drown my sorrows by watching Honey Boo Boo while drinking a bottle of Vodka and playing "Name that Smell."

Can Kevin Youkilis Survive Deep Dish Pizza?

By now, you've heard all about former Red Sock third bagger, Greek god of walks, bald guy, Kevin Youkilis, having a falling out with Boston and getting shipped to the lighter colored socks franchise for some stuff. While there were rumors about Youk's health and relationship with new Boston manager, Bobby Valentine (possibly a crazy person), the Boston faithful gave him a proper curtain call.

There are plenty of sports media sites than analyzed the trade and wondered if the Sawx got enough in return or graded the outcome. Well, I'm not that kind of blog. We care about the important things. Will Youkilis enjoy playing in a deep dish pizza city?

The man has that certain physique that says "I'll stab you for that last slice" and playing against the Yankees frequently must have led to several post game pizza parties. After years of New York style pizza, can Youk adjust to a pie that looks more like a cake?



More importantly, did White Sox GM Kenny Williams even consider if Youkilis' body would reject deep dish pizza before making the trade? I can't be sure as the White Sox organization has blocked several of my email accounts after I wanted to know what kind of hot dogs Adam Dunn was eating last year.

But we will find out soon enough. Maybe Youkilis prefers deep dish pizza and has a monster second half of the season. Maybe too much dough kills him. This is obviously a better question for projection type people like the Fangraphs staff. Who have also blocked most of my email accounts.

My guess is the increase in carbs will likely make a slow runner into a jogger. It's a slippery slope from there that often results in a daytime talk show host having a wall removed from your house to rescue you. Deep dish pizza can ruin lives.

I'm rooting for Youk. And he might need it. His mental state is still a little fragile after his first game after the trade...

"I know where I'm at," Youkilis said. "I'll go to the hotel room, wake up, put clothes on, and not worry about packing clothes and all that other stuff."

Sounds like the man on the verge of a pizza binge if you ask me.

I Love Ozzie Guillen

I love Ozzie Guillen and it's not just because the one part of the English language he mastered is profanity. He's cocky, abrasive, has no filter and I suspect he drinks quite a bit. He's just like your one uncle except he's had a job since 2004 and doesn't have to introduce himself as registered sex offender to the neighbors.

But Guillen isn't have a great season at the helm of the Pale Hose. The White Sox are 77-82 with three games to play and 15 games out of the AL Central, a division many, including yours truly, picked them to win. It's hard to pin the disappointing season all on Guillen. Of qualified American League players, the Sox have two of the worst five in fWAR (Fanrgraphs Wins Above Replacement) and three of the bottom 15. And that doesn't include Adam Dunn and his MLB worst -2.8 fWAR.

Guillen, however, doesn't want to point fingers at some of the historically bad performances of his players and would give his own performance the lowest grade possible...

For proof of that, look at what Guillen said when asked recently what grade he'd give himself for 2011.

"Z," he said.

"You're the man," Guillen said. "You make the lineup. So many things are on your shoulders. You have to be honest with yourself. I don't think this team went where it was supposed to be. I don't see why not give myself a Z. I don't play to be a second-place or third-place team."

Despite his own harsh grade, Guillen made it clear what he's looking for from the Sox after a meeting with Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf...

"(Bleep) more years, I want more money," Guillen said. "I don’t work here for years. No, I want more money. Years, what, I’m going to die poor with the White Sox. Hell, no. Listen this is my job. It’s the only thing I can do. I have to make money out of somewhere. I’m not a doctor or a lawyer, where you’ll have a job for the rest of your life.

"Life is about money. People don’t believe that. People are happy after they make money."

Yeah! That lousy $2 million I'm supposed to make next year will barely cover the overhead for my pygmy hippopotamus farm! I should have gone to law school! Or doctor school!

Guillen did say that he wanted to stay with the White Sox organization and his relationship with GM Kenny Williams would remain very respectful. You know, as long as they back that truck full of cash up to his drive way.

He declined to say if he'd quit if he didn't get a lucrative extension. There are some dire repercussions for the Guillen household though if he does find himself out of work...

"I’ve got to talk to my wife, and she’s got to cut the shopping process and Ozzie (Jr.) has got to quit drinking a little bit and Oney has to go to work a little bit," Guillen quipped. "Ozney has got to go to public school and hopefully get a scholarship somewhere, a lot of (stuff). My mom’s got to cut a little bit, my dad’s got to get healthy, my sister’s got to find a rich man.

"There’s a lot behind the scenes. My captain and my boat, I’ve got to cut that thing down. There’s a lot of things I’ve got to pay. We’ll see what happens, I don’t know yet."

Um, this needs to be a reality TV show like yesterday. Seriously, Bravo, VH1, MTV, TLC (if they can get a little person in the cast), MLB network, I don't care. Somebody put the Guillens on TV immediately.

I was relieved to hear that Ozzie (Jr) only has to quit drinking a little bit. I follow Oney on Twitter and, if he's any indication, Ozney can just drop out of school now. Maybe they can date some Kardashians.

UPDATE: Guillen said Monday night's game would be his last as the White Sox manager.

Adam Dunn Realizes He's Awful

Adam Dunn has spent the past two games watching the White Sox from the bench as baseball's version of a healthy scratch. While it was two of his better games in July, it gave him some time to reflect on his regrettable season. Despite owning Dunn in fantasy baseball, this is becoming one of my favorite stories of the year. Dunn, one of MLB's most consistent power hitters for 10 years, mysteriously turned into the little league kid who swings with his eyes closed.

Dunn's .158/.289/.299 line is embarrassingly the lowest of his otherwise underrated career. How bad has it gotten for Dunn? His .273 wOBA (weighted On Base Average) is the exact same as uber bust Brandon Wood. (Sorry to pick on you, Brandon. I'll still root for you when you're a Yuma Scorpion next year.) At least Dunn realizes he's a shell of the shell of his former self and even talked retirement with Yahoo! Sports...

“Flat out. I’ll go home. I mean that. Swear to goodness. I’ll. Go. Home. I enjoy playing. Even though I suck. Or have been sucking. I enjoy playing the game. Love it. But as soon as I lose that, I’m gone, dude. It’s true."

snip

“How many games can you play doing this? This is ridiculous."

But Sox GM Kenny Williams shouldn't be expecting a check for the rest of Dunn's $56 million contract in the mail anytime soon. Dunn may acknowledge his suckitude and talk a good game about quitting but that doesn't mean he's actually going to...

“It’s not going to happen,” he says. “Zero chance. Zero. You can’t get this competition anywhere else, dude. I don’t care where you look. Nowhere else. It’s one-on-one, dude. And you can’t find that anywhere."

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Adam, but what you're doing right now doesn't count as competition. I'd suggest taking up ping pong but with your recent struggles making contact with a ball maybe you'd be better served joining a Skee Ball league. I hear those dudes are getting pretty serious plus with enough tickets you can get a sweet mustache comb.

Ozzie Guillen Won't Protect Adam Dunn

White Sox manager/crazy person Ozzie Guillen doesn't need or use stats to fill out a lineup card and, for that, Juan Pierre thanks him. Guillen also doesn't care if a player might break the single season strikeout mark as long as that player isn't hurting the team. So Guillen won't sit Adam Dunn and his .160/.290/.302 line. Wait, what?

"I will sit him down if he's not helping the ballclub, but not because of a mark," Guillen said Sunday. "Not at all, no. (If) we need him to take a break and give somebody a chance, I will do it.

snip

"(But) I just worry about putting the best guys out there every time," Guillen said.

"Every time Dunn or (Alex) Rios is there, I feel like they have a chance. But it's not what I feel. It's how they feel."

Dunn has crossed the Godfather III threshold into the "made a donation in your name present" territory on the chart of disappointment this season. Dunn is having the worst year of his career and it's not even close. His strikeout rate is the highest of his career at 36.4% and his .274 wOBA is 79 points worse than his previous low. Even removing most of his atrocious defense by DHing and playing a little fist base, Dunn is still putting up a -1.6 WAR which, by definition, means he's worse than a replacement level player.

But, Ozzie keeps running him out there and hoping for the best. So far this season, the "best" is 1-4 with three strikeouts. The strikeouts are piling up (122 in 335 plate appearances) but he is still a long way from Mark Reynolds magical 223 strikeout record season of 2009. Fangraphs ZiPS is projecting 81 strikeouts for the rest of the season leaving Dunn with a mere 203. Of course, those projections don't have Dunn accumulating over 600 plate appearances so maybe they were nervous about Guillen pulling the plug on Dunn's terribleness. Silly projections.

Adam Dunn's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Adam Dunn picked up his second golden sombrero of the year a mere five days after wearing his first. Dunn has been awful this season and that's probably being too generous. He leads baseball in strikeouts and there are only 14 qualified players with a worse WAR. His .186/.314/.346 line gets the old Brandon Wood nod of approval. Let's check out Dunn's day at the dish...

Top 1st: Dunn struck out looking against Brandon Morrow. Morrow walked Juan Pierre on four pitches to open the inning which I didn't realize was physically possible.

Top 4th: Dunn struck out swinging against Morrow.

Top 6th: Dunn struck out swinging against Morrow.

Top 8th: Dunn struck out swinging against Mark Rzepczynski.

Yikes. I wonder if he's even making contact during BP.

Adam Dunn's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, no-hitters and Brian Wilson's beard are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

I'm more than willing to take the blame on Adam Dunn stinking up Chicago and most other ballparks this season. See, this is the first year I've ever drafted/owned Dunn in a fantasy league and I clearly ruined his career just like Madonna ruined Guy Ritchie. I was depending on him to boost my OBP and be my source of power. But with 4 homers and a .190/.308/.345 line, Dunn is a long way from his career averages. Of the Three True Outcomes, the only one Dunn still seems good at is striking out. And he put that on display Saturday. So grab a shot of tequila, it's sombrero time...

Bottom 1st: Dunn struck out swinging against Jon Garland. That's the same Jon Garland who has 24 strikeouts in 41.2 innings, so...

Bottom 3rd: Dunn struck out swinging against Garland again. Come on. You're kidding, right?

Bottom 4th: Dunn walked in an attempt to be at least a Two True Outcomes player. Just not in the Jose Bautista "home run or walk" way.

Bottom 6th: Dunn struck out swinging against Ramon Troncoso. Three pitches.

Bottom 8th: Dunn struck out looking against Lance Cormier. Three pitches.

The good news for Sox fans is that Gordan Beckham went 2-3 with a walk to improve his slash line to mostly terrible for the season.

Ozzie Guillen Will Keep Bunting Thank You

Master strategist, White Sox manager and occasional English-speaker, Ozzie Guillen, recently made it clear that he is a fan of the bunt. And why shouldn't he be? It's a near automatic out (unless it's craftily deployed against the shift) but it did help Jake Taylor fictionally win the pennant for the Indians circa 1989. In the past week, the Ozzies have bunted into a triple play and killed a four-run inning by bunting into a force out. But Ozzie is steadfast in his belief in the Tao of the bunt...

"Listen, I grew up bunting," Guillen said Thursday. "My baseball game is bunting. We win a lot of games bunting. I will stay with them. The guys who can bunt, I will bunt them. We hit a lot of double-play balls because we're not that fast. That's why I will take advantage of that."

Did he just say they win a lot of games bunting? Now I know where Oney gets his delusion from. The apple doesn't fall far from the crazy plant. Luckily, I'm not a White Sox fan but I do love Ozzie because he seems mentally unstable.

The bunt, especially the sac bunt, are usually a terrible waste of an out. Bunting Adam Dunn every once in a while to beat the shift? Brilliant. But I don't have that much faith in Ozzie. Also, can we stop praising Ron Gardenhire as a great manager? If he sac bunts in the first inning of a playoff game again, I'll... Probably just blog about it. I thought I had something more threatening there for a minute.

Kenny Williams Got It Dunn

Hey, I could write headlines for ESPN with that kind of gold.

Adam Dunn finally got his big boy contract today when Kenny Williams offered up 56 million White Sox bucks over four years. Dunn was looking for a fat cash contract during his free agent adventure two years ago but only managed to get a two-year, $20 million deal from the Nationals after being non-tendered by the Diamondbacks. Oddly enough, he posted a slightly worse season this year but still managed to score the monster deal. I have some theories as to why. They might be obvious and you've probably already read them elsewhere today but I'm lazy and everybody loves lists. Right?

1. Kenny Williams is a free spending lunatic.
He traded for the bloated contract of the already declining Jake Peavy. They're still on the hook for $37 million after they buy out 2013. Then Williams picked up Alex Rios' silly contract which will pay out $51 million over the next four years. And to top it off he's going to pay Juan Pierre $8.5 million next year instead of the box of movie theater nachos he's actually worth. All of that not-his cash just burns a hole in Kenny Williams' pocket.

2. Adam Dunn is a force at the plate.
Dunn has hit 38 or more home runs for seven consecutive seasons. Over those seasons, this was the first time he didn't have an OBP over .360. He slugged under .510 once over that time frame. Sure he's going to strikeout 150+ times per year but he's also going to lead the White Sox in walks every season too.

3. Dunn fills a need.
The White Sox got a pathetic .247/.332/.396 line from their DH spot in 2010 thanks to the likes of Mark Kotsay. Dunn should thrive in US Cellular Field or whatever the hell the White Sox stadium is named now. The south side park is hitter friendly and Dunn should get back to his 40 homers per year after only hitting 38 each of the past two seasons.

4. Dunn is more valuable when not wearing leather.
Defensive metrics are still far from a perfect measuring stick especially at first base. But I watched some Nationals games last year and they would have been better off sticking a glove on a traffic cone and sitting it against first base than playing Dunn there. With Dunn spending most of his time at DH instead of in the field, he won't have to hit 80 home runs to make up for his defensive craptitude.

5. The White Sox had to outbid, um, the A's.
Adam Dunn in his early prime was Billy Bean's wet dream of a player. Dunn is the definition of the three true outcome player. He's either hitting a homer, walking or striking out. He used to be undervalued too. With the Tigers signing Victor Martinez, that left the A's as, seemingly, the main competition for Dunn's services. But the A's were never going to offer a contract anywhere close to what the White Sox offered. Which brings us full circle back to theory number one.

I don't mind the deal because I'm not a White Sox fan and, even if I was, it's not my money. I do plan on watching a lot more White Sox home games though. Dunn is going to blast some homers out of that park. Obviously, I'll have to watch the games on mute because Hawk Harrelson makes me want to throw my TV out of a window.

BBA AL Goose Gossage Award Ballot

Baseball's award season is upon us and we finally have a vote that counts for something this year. We're proud members of the Baseball Blogger Alliance and they've been kind enough to give us ballots. The only thing the BBWAA ever gave us was a bread maker that I'm pretty sure they regifted. Today we'll be unveiling our AL Goose Gossage ballot for reliever of the year. Note: I completely ignored saves.

1. Matt Thornton
I didn't want to make my ballot a closer fest but they often are a team's best reliever even if they aren't used in the highest leverage situations. Thornton was my only non-closer who made either ballot. Statistically, he was easily the best pitcher you could have brought out of any American League bullpen. Strap on your nerd boots, we're going for a hike. Thornton led the AL with a 2.2 WAR for relievers and posted a 2.67/2.14/2.62 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) line. He also struck out 12.02 per 9 innings with his devastating fastball. He even had a normal .297 BABIP.

2. Neftali Feliz
I left Feliz off of my Willie Mays ballot for rookie of the year because he was a reliever. But he's a damn good one. He threw 69.1 innings of 2.73/2.96/3.68 ball for a 1.8 WAR. He got some help from his .234 BABIP but he also plays in a hitter's park. Feliz struck out 9.22 over 9 innings and, frankly, I'm surprised it wasn't higher. Feliz pitched so well out of the bullpen that he might have hurt his long term value. The Rangers might feel obligated to leave Feliz in a closer role instead of stretching him out and using him as a starter. I'm tempted to give Texas the benefit of the doubt though considering their usage of C.J. Wilson.

3. Rafael Soriano
It's a good thing Derwood hasn't been around lately because Mariano Rivera would have occupied this spot. Soriano and Rivera finished with the same WAR (1.7) and identical FIP (2.81) but the Tampa Bay closer struck out more over 9 innings, 8.23 to Mo's 6.75. Soriano's final regular season line was 1.73/2.81/3.81 which had to have been aided by his .212 BABIP. Soriano should buy Carl Crawford and B.J. Upton dinner for making the third spot on this ballot. Or, I guess, he can wait until he signs a ridiculous contract this winter.

Manny Jettisoned From Mannywood

The Dodgers have agreed to send Manny Ramirez to the White Sox for a player to be named later or not. From what I understand, the Dodgers might kick in some cash to cover the $3.825 million due to Manny over the remainder of the season to receive a prospect in return or they might just allow Manny to go to Chicago on a straight waiver claim. John Heyman (via Twitter) seems to think the latter is the more likely outcome. This appears to be the Dodgers waiving the white flag on the season as they are 10 games back of division leading San Diego. What a bunch of jerks San Diego is with all of their perfect weather and winning record.

Manny is in the stretch drive of a 2-year, $45 million contract. When healthy, Manny is still among the best hitters in the league with a .311/.405/.510 line. Unfortunately, playing in the National League forced him to strap on the leather and attempt to field. UZR/150 has him at his usual comical rate of -19.1 but he shouldn't have to play much outfield in Chicago.

This is the typical bold move Kenny Williams makes for the White Sox as they make their push for the playoffs. Last year Williams traded for Jake Peavy's massive contract on the wrong side of his production level. Peavy had season-ending surgery in July. Williams made a similar waiver claim last year picking up Alex Rios' ridiculous contract. The Rios deal doesn't look as insane this year. He's hitting .288/.335/.463 and his 2.9 WAR makes him worth around $11.7 million compared to the $10.2 million he's making. Of course, that contract just gets worse over the next four years so the jury is still out on that one.

Manny will be a free agent at the end of the year and is usually at his best behavior when he first arrives to a new team. This should be a good move for the White Sox as they're only 4.5 games back from the Twins. If they're only just picking up the remaining salary, the deal looks even better.

Shot Of The Night

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Remember when the Major League franchise tried to pass Omar Epps off for Wesley Snipes in Major League 2? Like Omar Epps could ever slay vampires. He's only good at diagnosing strange diseases and coaching the Pittsburgh Steelers. Wow, I derailed much quicker in this post than I usually do. The shot of the night is Crazy Legs: 1 shot of absinthe herbal liqueur, 1 shot of Jagermeister® herbal liqueur, 1/2 can of Amp® energy drink and it's in honor of Juan Pierre.

Juan Pierre hit a home run. Over the fence. On purpose.[citation needed] That was Juan Pierre's first home run in almost two years. And he was just as surprised as the rest of us...

"I was real surprised, it was a breaking ball," said the speedy leadoff man, who has 14 career homers. "I hit it good. Now guys can get off my back."

Honorable Mention: Buck Showalter
Crazy Legs Buck (just go with it, I'm grasping at straws with this shot thing) ran his consecutive winning streak with the Orioles to one in his debut. The O's beat my beloved Halos and because I'm comfortable in my manhood, I'm not afraid to admit I wept a little. Like 5 minutes worth. The win leaves the Orioles a scant 34 games back of the Yankees for first place in the AL East. Should be a good race down the stretch.

Shot Of The Night

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Last night's shot of the night was a Black and White: 1/3 oz Dr. Mcgillicuddy's® Vanilla Schnapps, 1/3 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur. It's not a very exciting shot but there weren't many performances that drove me to drink last night. Except for maybe Jered Weaver's 5 earned run doozy. Anyway, this shot is in honor of Carlos Quentin and it seems like it would be good for breakfast.

TCQ powered the White Sox into first place in the Central by going 2-4 with a solo shot and a grand slam. Quentin has been on a serious home run tear. He's 7-13 over the past 7 games with 6 homers. That's about all he does though as the .244/.334 numbers don't really scream All Star. In other White Sox news, Gordon Beckham went 3-4 raising his slash line to .214/.277/.304. *Slow golf clap from Brandon Wood*

Wilson Betemit: DNP

Dishonorable Mention: Carlos Silva
Silva had been enjoying his resurgence in the National League until he ran into the Xavier Paul led Dodgers offense. Silva only made it through an inning and a third while giving up 6 runs on 6 hits and 3 walks. Silva's opposing pitcher, Vicente Padilla, went 8 innings and gave up 2 hits and no runs. Haha, the Cubs' offense is terrible.

Separated At Birth

I have absolutely loved the World Cup this year. I don't know if it's my patriotic spirit or the vuvuzela or the excuse to drink in the morning, but I'm captivated. Even though USA lost in plastic horn snapping fashion yesterday, I'm still going to watch and root for England Argentina. You know why? Diego Maradona. He's regarded as one of the greatest players in football *cough*soccer*cough* history. He's well known for the "Hand of God" goal in the 1986 World Cup. Otherwise known as "la mano de Dios" which I thought meant something else entirely. After a long relationship with the cocaine, Maradona had a stint as a talk show host before becoming Argentina's head coach in 2008. He's one of those outspoken, blast the media types who reminds me of Ozzie Guillen. Let's go to the Seperated at Birth Breakdown before I have to get drunker and watch more soccer...

Diego Maradona
We covered the "Hand of God" goal but he's also credited with the "Goal of the Century" from the same World Cup in 1986. *vaca sagrada* What I like about Diego is his willingness to fire away at any chance he gets...

"Many journalists should apologize to the players," he said, oozing confidence and never losing his cool. "I'm not suggesting you drop your trousers, but it would be honest and great so we all get along better."

snip

"All of a sudden we're an excellent team ... the most handsome people in the barrio!"

Maradona has also been a highlight reel on the sidelines. I never know what he's doing back there. He's fascinating and it takes the pressure off of his players. He'd also probably get tossed for arguing balks if he could. Speaking of which...

Ozzie Guillen
Guillen doesn't have the prolific playing career that Maradona does. He did win Rookie of the Year in 1985 but that's because voters hated Stew Cliburn and his 2.9 WAR. But Ozzie has gone on to win the hearts of many with his insane antics as manager of the White Sox. He won a World Series and probably can't get fired even though he supposedly came to blows with GM Kenny Williams earlier this year. The Ozzie legend is huge so I'm just going to steal some quotes from a Crasnick article from two years ago...

"He's garbage, still garbage, going to die as garbage," Guillen says of Mariotti. [Ed. I concur, by the way]

"You're not even a pimple on your daddy's ass," Guillen tells Wendelstedt.

"How you doing, Ozzie?" North says.
"Oh, shut the [bleep] up," Guillen replies. [Ed. Love Ozzie meter goes up 4 points]

"[Showalter] never even smelled a jock in the big leagues," Guillen says. "Mr. Baseball never even got a hit in Triple-A. I was a better player than him, I have more money than him and I'm better looking than him."

Two huge egos, successful managers, self proclaimed good looking, tons of cash. My question to you, were they separated at birth?

He's Coming... Dayan Viciedo Edition

I really need to decide on some criteria around here. But until I do you'll just be subject to the whims of which upcoming prospect I'd like to feature. Unfortunately, for some reason, I missed previewing Indians' catcher Carlos Santana and all he's done is hit .333/.467/.625 in his first 30 plate appearances. He was also Baseball America's number 10 prospect coming into this year. For that, I apologize. So, I'm going to make it up by previewing a guy who actually fell out of Baseball America's Top 100 prospect list in 2010. See, no criteria whatsoever*.

The 21-year-old Dayan Viciedo is scheduled to play third base for the White Sox today. Although it's doubtful he'll remain at third with his 5'11, 240 pound frame. That makes him 5-years younger and just 30 pounds lighter than Prince Fielder. I don't like Dayan's chances especially with McDonald's new Big Mac topped with a 9 piece McNugget (I plan on getting credit for the McFatty™). In 2008, the Cuban defected on a boat to Mexico and then crossed over to, wait for it, Miami. He signed a four-year, $10 million deal with the White Sox. He was BA's #61 prospect in 2009 but after an unimpressive rookie season at AA, he fell out of BA's Top 100 this year. In Triple A this year, he has 14 home runs and is hitting .290/.329/.525. He will join fellow countryman, short stop Alexei Ramirez in the Cubanest infield in the bigs. Look, I made it that whole post without making a rafting or pork sandwich joke! *blows vuvuzela*

*I think the eventual criteria for this feature will be prospects inside Baseball America's Top 50 for the season or if I'm bored or if it's someone I'm particularly excited about. Hmm, still sounds like there's no criteria.

UPDATE: Viciedo is not in the starting lineup for Saturday's White Sox game.