Phillies Willing to Spend $50 Million to Exile Ryan Howard

Dafuq?

It came three years too late, but it seems as if some form of common sense has crept into the brain of Ruben Amaro Jr. As of an hour ago according to Aaron Gleeman at Hardball Talk, the Phillies are reportedly willing to eat up to and including $50 million of Ryan Howard's enormous (read, incredibly stupid) contract that runs through the end of next season. There is an option on his contract for the 2017 season, but let's not kid ourselves into believing that that will actually get picked up by, well, anyone. If the Phillies really do go ahead and swallow the $50 million remaining on Howard's deal, that leaves basically the $10 million buyout for 2017 for some team to give Howard before he walks away and disappears into the woods somewhere.

There Was a Baseball Game Yesterday. No, Really

There is still snow on the ground outside of my window, and numerous forecasts calling for temperatures so low that no person in their right mind would inhabit those areas. But, yesterday, spring got even closer with the first exhibition game involving a major league franchise in the year 2015. Well, it was a game that kind of involved a major league franchise.

The Phillies suited up for their first taste of live ball against a team that wasn't made up of blow up dolls borrowed from a Cole Hamels weekend bender, and the results were not kind to Ryne Sandberg's bunch. Going up against the University of Tampa, it was assumed that, even with a team made up of major league hopefuls and non roster spring training invites would have little to no problem defeating a team of amateur players in western Florida. That was, of course, before someone decided to swap out those players with what I am assuming are the rejected cast extras from Magic Mike 2.

The two teams played to a 2-2 tie heading into the seventh when shortstop Giovanny Alfonzo hit a grand slam to give the Spartans a commanding 6-2 lead that would hold up for the balance of the contest. When reached for a comment after the game, Phillies manager, Ryne Sandberg, responded with this: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. None of the attending members of the press knew how to handle a stick figure Sandberg, so they all backed out slowly and ran to Lowry Park Zoo where they placed their heads in an alligators mouth. Presumably to save themselves from having to endure covering the Phillies in the 2015 season.

Congratulations, Philadelphia. These are your teams' fallback options in 2015. And it's not like many of the team's regular players are going to inspire that much more confidence, so, buckle up, because it is fifth place or bust in 2015. 

Phillies Gonna Philly; Sign Marlon Byrd

In true Ruben Amaro Jr. fashion, the Phillies GM struck quick during the GM Meetings in Orlando, FL, signing Marlon Byrd away from the two's of teams that may have been interested in the 36 year-old outfielder.  Byrd will presumably be taking the spot that was vacated by last year's big signing, Delmon Young. The two-year, $16MM deal - that was reportedly drawn up in red crayon while Amaro attended a tea party with stuffed animals - makes Byrd the sixth highest paid player on the Phillies roster. I'll let that one sink in for a moment.

2013 Team Awards: Philadelphia Phillies

In order to review the 2013 season, the crackpot staff of Off Base is handing out awards to each Major League team. Please send us $19.95 for the shipping and handling of your team's Hello Kitty stickers awards. Here are the Most Valuable Player, Least Valuable Player, Cy Young, Cy Yuck, Rookie of the Year and Reliever of the Year for the Philadelphia Phillies. 

*Guidelines, prices and participation may vary by author*

MVP: Cliff Lee

There is snow in the forecast, so of course I am writing about a team where a pitcher was it's most valuable player. I wanted to write Chase Utley's name in here along with his 3.9 fWAR and 126 wRC+, but I just couldn't do it. I do get a bonus though whenever I mention Chase Utley in a blog post though. So, Chase Utley Chase Utley Chase Utley Chase Utley. There, that should earn me some brownie points with MTD, maybe even actual brownies. 

Aside from the Utley-love that resonates around these parts, it was Cliff Lee that was the driving force for the underwhelming Phillies in 2013. His 5.1 fWAR led the team, and I personally have never seen a pitcher who's ERA, FIP and xFIP (2.87, 2.82, 2.78) were so close together. Lee may very well be the perfect pitcher, unfortunately, his 14-8 record isn't going to get much love with the BBWAA crowd. Don't worry, Cliff, you're still loved by those who pay attention (And those who are suckers for smooth lefties).

[Ed: If you'd like to argue Albert Pujols should have won the MVP in 2006 or 2007, we don't have to have a problem. But if you wanted to give a Phillie the MVP in 2006 or 2007 and chose Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins over Chase Utley, then I'm blocking you, reporting you as spam and turning you over to the NSA]