Golden Sombrero: Jarrod Saltalamacchia

The Miami Marlins flew into Anaheim last night to kick off a three game set with the Los Angeles Angels. On Garrett Richards Wade LeBlanc night last night, they kicked the shit out of the Angels, 7-1, dropping three runs in the third inning and another four in the fourth. Six of the runs were charged to Wade LeBlanc, a pitcher who the Angels should look into replacing as of last week.

2013 Team Awards: Miami Marlins

No, sir, I don't think you understand. My Kung Fu is better. 

In order to review the 2013 season, the crackpot staff of Off Base is handing out awards to each Major League team. Please send us $19.95 for the shipping and handling of your team's Hello Kitty stickers awards. Here are the Most Valuable Player, Least Valuable Player, Cy Young, Cy Yuck, Rookie of the Year and Reliever of the Year for the Marlins. 

*Guidelines, prices and participation may vary by author*

MVP: Giancarlo Stanton

From (probably) now until the artist formerly known as Mike Stanton demands that Jeff Loria trades him, we might as well make this spot reserved. His 2.3 fWAR paced the Marlins offense, as did his 135 wRC+ and his .368 wOBA. He didn't get docked any pay this season because he was able to keep his home run balls from breaking the scoreboard. He did however manage to do this:




Watch out, Planet Hoagie. Stanton also took home the award for most scary stare downs as well as best use of Under Armour cold gear in a humid as fuck state. 

Miguel Olivo Put on the "Go Sit in the Corner" List

The loosely considered professional baseball organization that resides in Miami, Florida was in the news today, thanks to one, Miguel Olivo. Olivo demanded a release from Jefferey Loria's team for the third time last night, and was denied for the third time last night. So in true professional style, Olivo watched the first inning from the clubhouse, then showered, then got dressed, then left. Totally fake Unofficial reports suggested that the list thing heard from the one time decent backstop turned third string catcher was, "Screw you guys, I'm going home." This, of course, is yet to be confirmed.

Marlins Trade Jose Reyes, et al To Toronto

One way or another, the Marlins sure do like the attention of the Hot Stove league. Last year, on a new tax-funded-stadium high, the Marlins bid on every big ticket free agent like their revenue sharing cash was about to expire. The Marlins will try a different, more Marlin-y approach to the off season this time around.

After a less-than, shall we say, winning start to the new-look Fish, the Marlins traded Hanley Ramirez and Anibal Sanchez during the season. Monday, the Marlins inventoried the team and traded away everything else that wasn't nailed down except for poor Giancarlo Stanton. He just got to know Jose Reyes and Mark Buehrle, the two big names signed last winter. Almost an ace Josh Johnson, John Buck and Emelio Bonafacio plus $4 million are off to Toronto.

Miami gets back 2012 Toronto top five prospects Jake Marisnick and Justin Nicolino, Single-A righty Anthony DeSclafani, noted homophobic-slur-eye-black-wearer Yunel Escobar, Henderson Alvarez and Jeff Mathis for some reason. The deal might work out okay for the Marlins in the long run IF the prospects advance. But try telling that to the fans who had playoff hopes a season ago and just witnessed the payroll drop from $101MM in 2012 to $20MM-ish in 2013. Or try telling that to your remaining Star/notable Major Leaguer/guy with a team hat, the hitter formally known as Mike Stanton.

Alright, I'm pissed off!!! Plain & Simple

— Giancarlo Stanton (@Giancarlo818) November 13, 2012

Woof. That did not go well. The Marlins should tell him about all of the top draft picks they're going to get before they trade him. That should calm him down. It can't be easy to play for a franchise that spent aggressive to win and abruptly gave up after one season. It would be hard to blame Stanton if he went malcontent, Hanley Ramirez-style all over the Marlins asses.

I'm surprised the Marlins haven't tried to trade the new stadium to Oakland or Billy the Marlin to Captain D's.

Adam Greenberg Gets his Second Chance on Tuesday

Seven years ago, Adam Greenberg made his major league debut, and this happened. At bat one, pitch one, thud. Greenberg left the field with an On Base Percentage of 1.000, and since then it has not had the chance to go down. He went back to the minors the next season and followed that up with stints in the Dodgers, Royals and Angels organizations. After 2008 though, he was out of baseball.