Josh Hamilton Avoids Suspension, John Carpino Avoids Good PR

Hi. My name is Josh, and I am an addict.

Hi, Josh.

This is a very real thing that is going to be said in the very near future for the Angels enigmatic and ridiculously overpaid and declining slugger, Josh Hamilton. And, it is a very real thing that became very very necessary with what has become his very public hearing regarding a cocaine relapse back in January. Angels' fans reactions on Twitter ranged from "Good. Baseball is not worried about the money he is owed ($83M), and is more concerned with Hamilton receiving the help that he needs" to "Great. The Angels can't dump this guy for anything now."

2013 Team Awards: Los Angeles Angels

In order to review the 2013 season, the crackpot staff of Off Base is handing out awards to each Major League team. Please send us $19.95 for the shipping and handling of your team's Hello Kitty stickers awards. Here are the Most Valuable Player, Least Valuable Player, Cy Young, Cy Yuck, Rookie of the Year and Reliever of the Year for the Angels. *Guidelines, prices and participation may vary by author*

MVP: Mike Trout
Last year, Trout posted a 10.0 fWAR (Fangraphs Wins Above Replacement) which was 4.8 wins more than the next closest Angel, Torii Hunter. In 2013, Trout put up an even more ridiculous 10.4 fWAR good for 7.7 more wins than second place Howie Kendrick. Trout is the best player on the Angels and in baseball and should win every award from AL MVP to an MTV Video Music Award (highlights set to music) to both a daytime and nighttime Emmy (brilliance during televised games). He'll likely have to settle for the majority of Player of The Year awards handed out around the Internets including mine featuring a trophy made out of various kitchen appliances and cat hair.

LVP: The Angels Braintrust
It's unfair to squarely point the finger of shame at Jerry Dipoto and his front office without knowing how much influence Mike Scioscia still has and how much overruling is done by Arte Moreno. But for the second straight year, the Angels added one of the biggest and worst contracts of free agency to their payroll by signing the woefully underperforming Josh Hamilton. That move killed flexibility and cost the Angels a first round draft pick their shallow farm system desperately needed. Joe Blanton and Tommy Hanson were more punchline than answer to the rotation question.

Cy Young: CJ Wilson
Wilson had a fine season with a 3.51 FIP over 212.1 innings. So, at least, he's been a workhorse since joining the Angels. I wanted to make a case for Garrett Richards who posted a 3.61 FIP of his own over 103.1 innings as a starter. Richards also increased his GB% all the way up to 57.9 and hopefully he'll start missing more bats with his heater next season when he's guaranteed a rotation spot.

Cy Yuck: Joe Blanton
How bad was Blanton in 2013? Roughly the equivalent of treating food poisoning with a gallon of Mexico's finest Montezuma cursed water. Blanton's 6.04 ERA was the worst among pitchers with 100 innings pitched. Jason Marquis, Dylan Axelrod, Lucas Harrell and Scott Diamond were the only pitchers who managed to fielding-independently-pitch worse than Blanton's 5.12 FIP. I wonder how much Arby's shame eating Blanton has endured this young offseason.

ROY: Kole Calhoun
Red headed and left handed. If it was the 1920's, he would have been sold off to a traveling freak show. Instead, he hit .282/.347/.462 in 222 plate appearances. Calhoun had the second best OBP, SLG, wOBA and wRC+ on the team after that Trout guy. While JB Shuck received more playing time and rookie fanfare, it's Calhoun who might have a shot at being an average major league outfielder. Calhoun is no Gold Glover in the outfield but he has more of a general idea of what to do with a glove than Shuck who I'm pretty sure wore his as a hat for more than one inning.

Reliever of the Year: Michael Roth
The Angels bullpen wasn't great in 2013. In fact, only the Yankees, Mets, Phillies, Cubs and Astros had stats worse than the Angels' 3.90 FIP. I was tempted to give Reliever of the Year to David Carpenter since he only spent a third of an inning in the bullpen but his 108.00 ERA prevented that. Dane de la Rosa was the best of the bunch but his 1.1 fWAR would make him around the 34th best reliever in baseball according to WAR. Roth gets my vote for being a quick mover (drafted in the 9th round in 2012) and posting a 2.15 FIP. Of course, he had a 5.94 ERA over those 16.2 relief innings so it's not exactly a ringing endorsement either. It deeply saddens me to hope Brian Wilson's beard occupies this spot next year.

Yankees Trade for Vernon Wells. Yes, You Read That Correctly

This offseason hasn't gone exactly to plan for the New York Yankees. They uncharacteristically backed off of pursuing big time free agents and are trying a "bargain bin" approach for 2013. Then it was released that Alex Rodriguez was going to need hip surgery, again. Then came the Biogenesis mess which - and, of course, this was going to happen - A-Rod was linked too. Then Curtis Granderson took a fastball off of the forearm in a spring training game, breaking said forearm. Then, Mark Teixeira strained his right wrist while working out with Team USA in preparation for the WBC. Last week however, ESPN reported that Tex's injury is a more serious partially torn tendon sheath. Michael Pineda still can't find his way to a mound, and might have the only shoulder that is worse off than Tommy Hanson's, and none of this would be complete without mentioning how Derek Jeter is likely to start the season on the DL for the first time since 2001. Are you with me so far? It's a lot to digest, I know, but this really has been the offseason from hell for the pinstriped ones.

Enter Jerry Dipoto, Vernon Wells and a panicking Brian Cashman.

Trout Jersey Sells Big on eBay, MTD is Beside Himself

Poor MJ. Mike Trout's offseason for him has been the equivalent to that one Christmas where his parents promised him a new ride and surprised him with a one month bus pass. Next stop, the bar.

First, Trout got snubbed in the Gold Glove Award voting (Adam Jones? Really?). Luckily, the BBWAA got something right and unanimously voted Trout as the Rookie of the Year. Then they undid all that good in the MVP vote. Furniture, mirrors, stoneware, nothing was safe. Many hours of therapy, along with the viewing of this video, had Mr. Lloyd almost back to normal. Almost.

At Least Tigers Fans Are Faithful

If there is one thing that you can't say about Tigers fans, it's that they support their players. Even when details like defensive ability and baserunning are presented in front of them.

It's rather endearing that they show up to the game with crowns on carrying banners with sayings on them like the one in the picture above. It's also, well, slightly annoying to be honest. And that's even if I leave WAR out of the equation.

Dan Haren Is Not a Fan of Leaks

Wolverine

Earlier this week Alden Gonzalez kicked up a bit of a dust storm when he answered a fan question in his blog here about the Angels and their preference to sign Zack Greinke rather than retain both Dan Haren and Ervin Santana. I'm guessing no one explained to Mr. Gonzalez how exactly the internet works because Haren has heard about it and is, well, not raving mad, but probably has an agitation level that is just a smidgen to high when he should be concentrating on a playoff push. It's bad enough that poor vagabond Danny has had to endure not only numerous appearance changes (like his failed Wolverine look) as well as his first appearance on the disabled list, but he is also in the midst of having his worst season statistically.