Thursday, August 21, 2014

Bryce Harper Uses a Yasiel Puig Bat

On August 6th, 2014, Matt Williams got asked not once, but twice in the same day by media members if there was a possibility that Bryce Harper would get sent down to the minor leagues so that he could work on some things and get his swing back. On the surface, it seemed like a good plan.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Jim Edmonds Defends Home Against Pizza Delivery Guy

Jim Edmonds is, quite possibly, a future hall of famer. He of the career 64.0 fWAR thanks to both above average Fielding and hitting might need to wait a few years to get in, but he does have a legitimate outside shot at being enshrined. Until then, however, Jimmy is busy defending his St. Louis home from possible invaders.

Or simply from the occasionally lost pizza delivery guy.

It begs the question though: "What came after the 'wrong house' comment?" Inquiring minds want to know, Jim. We must know.

H/T to Halos Daily writer, Andrew Karcher for the find

Monday, August 4, 2014

Dan Uggla Rejects AAA Assignment from Giants

Two and a half weeks ago, the Braves released perpetually struggling second basemen, Dan Uggla. Two weeks ago, the Giants signed Uggla to a minor league contract. Four days ago, Uggla was designated for assignment. Today, Dan Uggla rejected a AAA assignment from the Giants, effectively making him a free agent again. This, undoubtedly, has been the most exciting three weeks of baseball talk regarding Dan Uggla since he a had an abs contest with Gerard Laird last September.

This season, Uggla is slashing a paltry .149/.229/.213 over 157 plate appearances for the Braves and Giants. And, at the age of 34, there probably isn't much hope that Uggla will become the monster hitter he was when he was a Florida/Miami Marlin. In fact, just for the sake of comparison, Brandon Wood slashed .220/.277/.347 in 257 plate appearances for the Pirates in 2011, and he just recently got released by the Sugarland Skeeters in June.

Want another comparison? Dan Uggla's OPS this season is .442. The lowest OPS that Jeff Mathis has ever posted during a single season is .484. In other words, even Jeff Mathis has never had a season this bad.

Enjoy the AAA contract you're going to sign in the next couple of weeks, Mr. Uggla, I doubt you'll receive a better contract offer than that considering you have forgotten how to hit baseballs.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Happy Trade Deadline Day: Boston Sends Jon Lester to Oakland for Yoenis Cespedes

For the last week, baseball fans have been waiting for today to arrive. With more impact players available this season than I can personally remember, it was only a matter of time before some GM for some team decided to press the detonator and blow everything up. And at 10:00 EST this morning, that is exactly what Billy Beane of the Oakland A's and Ben Cherington of the Boston Red Sox did. The Red Sox are sending Jon Lester, Jonny Gomes and an undisclosed amount of money to Oakland in exchange for Slugger Yoenis Cespedes and a competitive balance pick in next year's draft. Buckle up, everyone. Shit just got real.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Jose Canseco Update

Monday, June 16, 2014

Ripken watches baseball game with block of cheese

Baltimore, MD - Former Baltimore Orioles' shortstop Cal Ripken Jr. was recently spotted watching a baseball game with a block of cheese, according to the above photograph obtained by Off Base Percentage. Ripken, who earlier this month was named the new head coach of the Blue Team, was finishing his diet soda when he confirmed that one of his goals as coach was "to teach cheese the game of baseball".

Ripken, with the help of top scout Barney Lyle, is also hoping to break baseball's Cheddar Barrier.

"We like (the block of cheddar's) speed, but at the plate and in the field, it is still a bit moldy," said Lyle, who also helped break baseball's Legume Barrier when he signed a garbanzo bean in 2009.

As for whether or not hats will stay attached to blocks of cheddar at the professional level, Lyle said it would depend on the game situation.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Illustrating Plate Appearances To Ruben Amaro

Crossing Broad recently uncovered that Phillies GM (General effing Manager) Ruben Amaro Jr. doesn't really understand the difference between plate appearances and at bats. While discussing Jimmy Rollins' run at Mike Schmidt's Phillies' hits record, RAJ dropped this unknowledge bomb on us...

“Yeah, we were checking it out. In fact Schmitty was in the booth yesterday when we were talking about it, and, um, I think it’s about a thousand difference in, ah, plate appearances. Pretty amazing. But their batting averages aren’t that different, which is kind of… weird. I don’t quite understand it.”

That man runs a Major League Baseball front office. Into the ground but the fact remains the same. The 28-36 Phillies are only 6.5 games out of first in the NL East. So, maybe they can turn things around. I designed this to help Ruben Amaro Jr. with his unsurprising lack of understanding baseball terms.

Obviously, there are some other factors that can play into the discrepancy of PAs and ABs but baby steps. Hope this helps!

Brandon Wood Should File For Unemployment

Remember Brandon Wood? Wait, maybe we should start from the beginning. Remember 2003? It was 11 years ago so my memories might be fuzzy. I believe George Bush captured Saddam Hussien during a bicycle race in France for a cancer charity? And Guy Ritchie destroyed a once promising career by making Swept Away because Madonna became British. Also, the Angels selected Brandon Wood with the 23rd pick of the Rule 4 draft. In 2005, Wood hit 43 home runs for High A Rancho Cucamonga and entered 2006 as Baseball America's third overall prospect. It was a simpler time. And maybe breaking balls didn't exist in the minors yet.

It didn't go downhill immediately. Wood made his Major League debut in 2007 and hopes were still high. Then it fell apart. Brandon Wood ended up with 751 plate appearances in the Bigs and was last seen around Pittsburgh in 2011. Career slash? .186/.225/.289 with a 29% strikeout rate. It was ugly. And if this feels a bit like an obituary, it shouldn't. I have been one, if not the biggest, Brandon Wood supporter. I have proof. But if that slash line isn't baseball nightmare fuel enough, Wood just posted a .098/.156/.159 in 90 plate appearances at Independent League, Sugar Land. Mmmm, Sugar Land. Turns out the Sugar Land Skeeters are in Houston and not downtown Diabetesville, Mississippi. Either way, the Skeeters released Brandon Wood on June 1 according to this transaction page that apparently exists.

Now, I've never played competitive baseball but I assume getting cut from an Independent Baseball club is the equivalent to being kicked off of the beer league bowling team. That uses bumpers. At 29-years-old, being released from an Independent League team should signal the end of the career from a legit former prospect. It's sad. And disappointing. What's next? He should file for unemployment. According to a 2012 Baseball America article, Independent League players could make up to $600 per month. That's a lot of cans of tuna. Provided he moves back in with his parents.

While this news does make me sad, for serious, I'm looking forward to the savings Brandon Wood will be able to get me when I buy a new Kia Spectra if he makes it through the training period at that dealership.