Bryce Harper Uses a Yasiel Puig Bat

On August 6th, 2014, Matt Williams got asked not once, but twice in the same day by media members if there was a possibility that Bryce Harper would get sent down to the minor leagues so that he could work on some things and get his swing back. On the surface, it seemed like a good plan.

Kevin Frandsen Did WHAT!?!?

Kevin Frandsen is your typical, run-of-the-mill, replacement level player (career fWAR of 0.4). He is not expected to be spectacular. He is not expected to be above-average. Hell, even average production from Frandsen would be a bonus. So when he does something that you have to watch multiple times, it is something worth noting. Like, the play in the video below, for instance.

2013 Team Awards: Washington Nationals

MVP: Jayson Werth


I think we're ready now.

Mr. Werewolf Jayson Werth is the 2013 Washington Nationals team MVP. He played in just 129 team games and was worth 4.6 fWAR, making that monster contract just a bit more tolerable. That's probably not great news for the Nationals though - there's no way this guy can earn his keep two years straight right? They'll need him to do this again next year, and that's likely a lot to ask because Werth was phenomenal. A .319 average had him amongst league leaders in the category. Add in 25 homers, a .398 on-base, ten bonus steals and you have what would have been a monster year for Werth had he not missed any time.  He was also -9.0 fWAR defensively, so if he could have even been worth a little in the field of play he would have had a truly remarkable season. Still, he was able to beat out the likes of Ian Desmond, Jordan Zimmerman, and Bryce Harper as most valuable Nat. And that's swell!

Now say "Werewolve Werth" ten times without screwing up as fast as you can!

LVP: Adam LaRoche
I watched enough Nationals games in 2013 to become annoyed with LaRoche on a weekly basis. And man was he poor. LaRoche was worth a whopping 0.6 fWAR and was allowed to play in 152 games this past campaign. He delivered to the Nationals a .237/.332/.441 and went home. If you want to know why the Nationals took a step back in 2013, look no further than the drop off of production from this supposed slugging corner infielder. That probably wasn't real when he was a 3.4 fWAR in 2012 but rather a career year. If he could have done roughly half that the Nationals would have made things even more interesting down the stretch.

Cy Young: Jordan Zimmerman
Another one of those guys who will figure just fine into the real National League Cy Young Award race. He won't win it but he should finish top five, and he was easily the Nationals best pitcher in 2013. A 3.6 fWAR producer, the durable right-hander made all 32 of his starts survived despite a subpar K-Rate (6.79 K/9) because the son of a gun knows how to pitch and has impeccable control, evidenced by his 1.69 BB/9. In comparison, Gio Gonzalez walked about two more hitters per nine last season and struggled a little bit to be 'the old Gio'. Comfortably in the middle of those two in both fWAR and BB/9 was the guy who should have been named the Nationals best pitcher if he threw like he had any heart, Stephen Strasburg.

Cy Yuck: Dan Haren
The Nationals owned the rights to $13 million dollar Danny this past season, and what a prize that was to own the deed to.

This was another one of those players entering the season where you just kind of felt like it was disaster waiting to happen - and if you felt that way you were somewhat Nostradamus because Haren was mostly shitty. His 1.5 fWAR tells too little of the story. He actually struck out eight hitters per nine innings which isn't terrible. But 13% of the balls hit in the air off a Haren pitch left the park. That's kind of scary isn't it? And it's even more scary because only 36% of his batted balls were on the ground. Dan Haren is the reason the Nats can't have nice things.

ROY: Tanner Mother F'in Roark
Tanner Roark is the truth. He is both the question, and the answer. He looks like he should be teaching 8th grade science and somehow he goes out and shuts the other team down one quality start at a time. In 14 games he had a fWAR of 1.4 and went 7-1 for the Nationals. A career minor leaguer prior the season, Roark was a huge reason that the Nationals stayed in the race until the late going. I watched him extensively because he was a late season fantasy baseball pick-up. He's one of those guys who; how should I put this, I don't know why Tanner Roark was successful. He looks like your garden variety guy who throws 90-91 MPH with so-so control and he doesn't really have that one phenomenal pitch when he gets in a jam or deep in a count. But the sumbitch just competes! He has guile! He's so cool on the mound that if he had any Columbian blood inside him we could call him 'El Padrino'. I don't know that that means but it is a cool nickname, eh?

He sort of looks like Eric Mathews off Boy Meets World. Sort of.

Reliever of the Year: Tyler Clippard
Man this is some slim pickings, but I guess Clippard takes home the prized hardware. Goggles McClippard was a solid set-up man for the Nationals who managed not to fuck things up too many times while the game was graced with his lanky presence. We won't go into fWAR because he wasn't worth all that much. None of these guys were, really. I was told the entire season came and went and the Nationals bullpen was not offered one free drink in the state of Maryland all year! True story. Something has gone terribly wrong when that happens. Clippard's numbers of note: 9.25 K/9, .170 BABIP (lucky SOB), nice little 2.41 ERA, and 154 mixed drinks paid for in-full. You think that's bad, Drew Storen was spending so much money on his booze that he quit drinking!

Bryce Harper Loves the Media

Here's a phrase that I'll bet you never thought you'd read: "If Bryce Harper makes it to the big leagues this year, he is going to fly under the radar." OK, maybe not completely under the radar, but with Mike Trout doing things that rookies were not allowed to do before this season, young Harper simply disappeared from the headlines for a few months. Now that the postseason is here, and the Nationals have defied conventional thinking by steamrolling there way in, Bryce is back to being the media darling he was expected to be.

After the Nationals got slammed last night by the Cardinals, the media caught up with Artist Formerly Known as the Chose One to ask him about the game and remaining three to be played at Nationals Park. Take it away young man.




First off, nice outfit. Digging the bow tie. And it was very modest of you to ask the reporters if you looked good before the round of questioning began. The basic questions are there and Bryce responds with Crash Davis like efficiency, but then, a curveball. To Bryce's credit, he knocked it out of the park with his "Maybe you should be the hitting coach line." It's hard to blame the reporter for asking the question. How do you not ask a 19 year old if he is over anxious when he is playing on the biggest stage during his rookie year? It has to be asked.

Of course, Harper has a history with clown questions, and although this one was not as memorable as the "Do you have a favorite beer even though you're not of legal drinking age" question, it does rank up there, if only for the response.

Bryce Harper - 2
Media - 0

By the way, sweet Faux Hawk dude.

President Obama, Homer

In between State dinners, policy signings and the occasional mud slinging that comes with campaigning for President, President Obama spoke at a Minor League stadium that plays home to a Washington Nationals affiliate. 

The President is just as well known as a White Sox fan as he is well known for being an incredibly polarizing political figure. But this is not a politics blog, so I'll keep the politicking to myself.

 "I want to congratulate the Washington Nationals for bringing playoff baseball to D.C.," Obama said. "You guys are looking good. I am looking forward to a White Sox Nationals World Series." (Linky link-a-thon)

Can't fault Mr. Obama for wanting to see his beloved White Sox in the World Series, well, actually I can considering the still employ one A.J. Pierzynski, but that's another bowl of Hatey Charms Captain Hate Count Hateo......Spahateios that I will probably at some point get into at an undisclosed time and place.

Ever since President Taft threw out a ceremonial first pitch on April 14th 1910, each President has followed suit. With our last President being a former big league club owner, and now Obama wearing his Pale Hose love on his sleeve, baseball is more woven into the national fabric than ever before. And Bud Selig couldn't be happier, as I'm sure he is eyeing up the tax breaks he could stumble upon after he retires. If he retires. He better retire.


I for one enjoy having a homer baseball fan as a President, it makes him more personable in my completely non partisan opinion. Of course, that is what a President is supposed to do. Damnit, I've been had again. What a cruel, cruel trick. I guess I'll just drown my sorrows by watching Honey Boo Boo while drinking a bottle of Vodka and playing "Name that Smell."