Site News: Please Bear With Us

With wordplay like that, I'm not surprised this site is under foreclosure. You might not have noticed, my dear astute readers, but I've been somewhat missing in action over the past month or so. Your uncle Derwood has abandoned us and after an exhaustive search, I found him taking pictures of clothing left on the side of GA 400. I'm afraid he's a lost cause now.

As for me, your esteemed editor, I've been hanging out over at FanSided writing about the Angels at Halo Hangout and the Braves at Tomahawk Take. It's a little less nonsense than I'm used to so I've been mulling over what to do with Off Base.

I've decided to keep my little blog here and fulfill all of my nonsense needs by covering the absurd stories that pretend-journalism doesn't allow otherwise. So stay tuned for more porn star and deer antler spray stories. They hold a soft spot in my heart after all.

For real baseball news and opinions, check me out everywhere else. Thanks. And picnic bear wants to know if you're going to finish that sandwich.

At Least A Giant Letter B Didn't Fall On Me

I survived my birthday on Monday fairly unharmed. Sure I'm missing an eyebrow and had to shave my head but other than that and any possible liver damage, I came out of it relatively unscathed. It's not like I went to a baseball game and had a giant letter B fall on me...

A fan at the Toronto Blue Jays' game was OK on Monday after being struck in the right shoulder by a tumbling, metal "B" from a sign honoring Jackie Robinson.

The middle-aged man had a scrape after a foul ball by home run leader Jose Bautista of the Blue Jays dislodged one of the letters in a tribute honoring Robinson's retired No. 42.

Canadian craftsmanship at its finest. Jose Bautista's retooled swing is making some real noise this season. Bautista already leads the league in homers (43) but he's now dismantling The Rogers Center one letter at a time.

Anyway, now that the birthday festivities have run their course, I should be back posting about the home stretch and usual nonsense at my regular pace. Sorry for the interruption.

Shot Of The Night: Site News Edition

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

Before we get to last night's shot, I have a little house cleaning to do. There might not be much posting this weekend. Both Derwood and myself will be away from the Internet for much of it. Derwood is in the process of moving into his new Atlanta mansion (I have dibs on the basement) and won't have the Internet for a few days. I'm attending a friend's all day birthday extravaganza which includes laser tag and Hooters. I'm pretty sure he thinks he's turning 13 again. So MTD is going to strap on the old booze bag and see what happens. My early prediction is that I get thrown out of laser tag and Hooters.

This might be the last post for a while so drink up. Last night's shot of the night was a Doc Holliday: 1 shot Jagermeister® herbal liqueur, 1 shot Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey Single barrel, 1 shot orange juice, Dr. Pepper® soda. I always thought orange juice plus Jager were the ingredients for a "throwing up on a fire hydrant." Maybe that's just me. Anyway, it's in honor of Roy Halladay.

Halladay picked up only his 11th win of the season by tossing 8 innings of 5-hit, 1-walk shutout baseball. He struck out 9 and lowered his ERA to 2.28 for the year. Obviously, Ubaldo Jimenez has the shiny record and Josh Johnson has the ridiculous ERA but by season's end I'd still bet on Halladay being the best pitcher in the league. J.C. Romero also threw 7 pitches for the Phils last night. I felt you needed to know that.

Honorable Mention: Kelly Johnson
Johnson picked up the 3rd cycle of the season. Johnson actually hit his single in the 8th inning to complete the cycle which included a ground rule double. He was also hit by a pitch so he really reached base in 5 different ways.

Not Chase!!!

Chase Utley will miss 8 weeks after having thumb surgery. I can only assume the thumb was ripped off by Big Foot in a scrum that Chase dominated.

I've kind of come to terms with Chase not getting MVP votes but this will definitely cost him the Gold Glove. And for that I'm...

:(

And I hate emoticons.

In other site news, I'm stuck in Baton Rouge and both the Internet and AT&T hate me. It will be a miracle if I can publish this post. I'll be back in New Orleans tomorrow and I'll catch you up on the Shots of the Night and any missed Sombreros.