A Step Back For Society

Kid on the on-deck circle: "Ump, what are you doing over here?"

Abbott and Costello

Who's on First?

Ryan Braun: One Cool Jew

If you enjoyed the last homoerotic baseball friends video I stole from Youtube (featuring Chase Utley and Ryan Howard), you're gonna love this one. In the new cartoon, Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder talk sh*t about being fat and Jewish. Then some stuff about Saturn. I can't decide if this guy is a genius or just gets 12 minutes of Internet time per day at the asylum.



It's a thin line, folks.

But "liar, liar, Michael Cuddyer" should totally be a saying.

Ryan Howard: I Could Grandslam All Day

Remember life without Youtube? Yeah, neither do I. Thanks to Twitter, I can't remember what happened 35 seconds ago. So I shouldn't be that surprised this cartoon conversation between Ryan Howard and Chase Utley has been online for three weeks without me noticing it until now. Although I do worry my Chase Utley stalking skills might be past their peak. Anyway, the video is awesome.



Immediately I wondered why Ryan Howard is talking about stolen bases unless he really savored each of his 12 career steals. Then I had to remind myself that it's a cartoon and I need to get outside more.

H/T: C.J. Wilson

The Great(est) Fan Escape

This video has already spread so fast over the Internet, especially Twitter, that I'm not even sure who deserves credit. Let's just pretend I found it. This fan breaks out his best parkour skills to evade the Minute Maid Park cops during what is now Carlos Lee's most interesting at bat of the year. I just wish it were set to Yakety Sax.



The only thing that would be more impressive than that is the Astros escaping last place in the National League.

Let's Make Fun of Carl Pavano!

The Coasters? Take it away, please....





Wow. It's like Christmas morning, except instead of a new bike or a pot of mashed potatoes, it's Carl Pavano failing at his job and then acting like a 7-year old in the dugout!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a fantastic video of Carl Pavano following his little league pitching performance by going into the dugout and swinging a bat at inanimate objects!

Monkeys Riding Dogs? Yes Please.

For those of you who don't know me that well, I have a passion for videos of monkeys dating back to the days at my old stomping ground, Monkeys Throwing Darts. Thanks to a video from NESN, I did a little digging and think I've found my favorite video ever. It may even top the clip of a monkey talk show host groping a Japanese chick. Maybe. Anyway, here are some monkeys riding dogs while herding goats.



See, it's baseball related because it happened during a minor league game. Also, how much does one of those monkey-dog-goat combos go for? Because I've been saving for a rainy day and it's pouring.

Was Milt Wilcox The Only Tigers Player Endorsing Things in the 1980s?

Here's Milt telling us about Pine Building Company and All Type Sash:

Four Days Until Opening Day

Enjoy these gems as we count down the hours until baseball returns.

Get Metsmerized

The Big Lead posted this earlier today, but it needs to be a part of the Offbase family of videos that make you want to strangle an old lady.

Pay particular attention to: Darryl Strawberry in the No. 2 hole, and of course Rafael Santana at the 2:08 mark.





Santana's performance rivals the work of Luis Zendejas in the Philadelphia Eagles' rap video "Buddy's Watching You". Zendejas comes in at the 1:02 mark.

That brings us to the first-ever Offbase poll. Vote on the right side of the site: who put on a worse rapping performance, Santana or Zendejas?

Greatest Yankees 3B Ever To Play In 1998 World Series To Coach USA Baseball

I like to take every opportunity to mention Scott Brosius, not because I'm Vinny in Jersey and I think he should've been the Yankees' third baseman instead of Alex Rodriguez, or that he helped evoke some kind of fat-drunkman-ghost's-magical-powers in the 2001 WS, but because I appreciate his effort during the 1998 WS and I think he's a good guy.

Well, the good guy just got a big break. The former WS MVP was named the new head coach of the USA Baseball 18-under National Team, which will compete in the COPABE Pan American Baseball Championships in September. Brosius, who is in his fourth season coaching his alma mater Linfield College (Oregon), and is 100-38 with two conference and regional titles, will coach a team picked from the Tournament of the Stars competition at the USA Baseball national training complex, June 22-26.

One of Brosius' assistant coaches will be Brian McRae, son of former Royals manager, Hal. That gives us a great opportunity to show this video from Hal's managerial days.



This post may have just been an excuse to show that video.

Watch Canseco Lose A Home Run Contest

Jose Canseco has become somewhat of a mascot for us here at Off Base. What can I say? I have a soft spot for wildly delusional lunatics. Canseco was our third choice, though, after we found out the Noid has a serious cocaine problem and Clara Peller died in 1987.

Even though Canseco believes he could still DH and lead the AL in home runs, no major league team offered him a job. Baffling, because he seems like he'd be a sweetheart of a teammate and wouldn't draw any unwanted attention to the franchise. Or steal training equipment.

So Canseco is taking his slugging prowess to the glamorous world of travel softball. In this video that he tweeted today, Canseco takes on hillbilly softball legend (if that's a real thing) Jeff Hall in a home run contest.



I love Jose Canseco but I really hope this softball thing doesn't work out for him because I'm pretty sure his next career move would be cage fighting an ostrich.

Crazy Guy To Manage AA Baseball Team

It's official: Walter Wayne Backman is just two steps away from a major league dugout. The Double-A Binghamton Mets named former infielder Wally Backman their manager Monday, paving the way for a public spectacle at Citi Field in mid-April, 2014 involving a table of cold cuts (mostly salami) landing on the on-deck circle, and the abduction of Mr. Met.

Backman has been Jose Canseco with room and board and without a boxing match against Danny Bonaduche since retiring from baseball after the 1993 season. He was manager of the Diamondbacks for four days; DUI; assault; shouting profanity at mailboxes (speculation). Then he delighted us all with a squirrel-in-a-fish tank meltdown while managing the South Georgia Peanuts of the independent South Coast League.



Backman has had a number of minor league managerial jobs in the Whitesox, Diamondbacks and Mets organizations, but this seems like one of the last stops for Walter before he finally gets the big league job we should all be hoping he gets. He interviewed for New York's major league job before it went to Terry Collins, but I'm convinced if he does well at Binghamton, he will be in a big league dugout. Think Ozzie Guillen, but with no sense of humor and more death threats to bat boys.

MLB Needs More Chicken Fighting

This is the most ridiculous and awesome baseball brawl I've ever seen. Those krazy Koreans. It's been on Youtube for three years but somehow managed to escape my viewing pleasure until NotGraphs resurfaced it today.



Brilliant. This is how Derwood and I will settle all future arguments at the Off Base headquarters.

Dave Niehaus Celebrated In Rap Form

Legendary Mariners' announcer Dave Niehaus passed away last month at age 75. And finally, there is a tribute worthy of his greatness. That's right, Seattle native, white rapper Macklemore spit out some phat lyrics yo. That's what the kids are saying now, right? Macklemore actually does a pretty good job with the song. He's no Cracker Jack but, come on, the Jack just owns the baseball rap scene.



Niehaus coined the famous phrases "My, oh my!" and "Get out the rye bread and mustard, Grandma, it is grand salami time!" The latter of which is rivaled only by Derwood's RBI Baseball call of "Dip the pickle in the cream cheese and stick it in the toaster, that's a stand up single!"

Bert Blyleven's Acting Chops

It's Hall of Fame season and this should finally be the year that Bert Blyleven and his 90.1 WAR get elected. But for those still unconverted, looking at you Jon Heyman, may I present Bert Blyleven's acting skills for your consideration.



If the acting doesn't win you over, look at that magnificent beard. If that's not HOF worthy, I don't know what is.

Best. Video. Ever.

This xtranormal video conversation between Cliff Lee and Jayson Werth is so brilliant I wish I had written it. Language NSFW.



My favorite line: "Joe Blanton got traded to Dunkin Donuts for a large coffee and a Boston cream donut."

I've watched that seven times so far today.

Ball outside

RBI Baseball - Game 6, 1986

This video has been up for a while, but we need it on Offbase.

Vin, what do you have for us?

A Step Back for Society

Chevrolet is running a contest called Fan of the Year. You can send in a video explaining why you're the fan of the year and they pick a winner. This video was sent in by a Yankees fan who calls himself Michael LaPayower, but I know his real name. It's Everyyankeesfaniknewinnewjersey.

Pay particular attention to: the singing/rapping, editing, the :13 mark