Happy Birthday, Mevs

Clintoneous Mevolanate Evans was born in a small town in Ohio. His parents made an honest living. His mother worked hard as a part time teacher and full time mother while his father slaved away in the harsh Ohian coal mines so young Clint could watch baseball on the teletube.

Okay, so, most to all of that is untrue. Or so I assume. In the age of social media, people just meet people and become fast friends like me and that Saudi Arabian prince who owes me several hundred thousand dollars and precious gem stones.

Clint is the mastermind behind the underrated baseball blog, Diamond Hoggers, and the fantastic, but hibernating, podacast The Baseball Show. I was lucky enough to be invited to The Baseball Show by our mutual friend, Mike Rosenbaum of Bleacher Report fame. After my first podcast with them, they made me a regular and had to deal with way more than they expected. Derwood even got some airtime on the podcast. If you listen closely, you can still hear him eating pretzels during recordings.

Despite having never met each other in person, Clint is one of my best friends and I can't figure out what to get him for his birthday after my Yasiel Puig impersonator got deported. And I spent so much time teaching him the Icky Shuffle.

In lieu of getting Pseudo-Puig to show up, here are my birthday wishes for Clint:

1. Bryce Harper shows up and demolishes a pinata filled with Bryce Harper memorabilia

2. Clint's little boy learns how to switch hit. His little boy is a bulldog puppy

3. Jay Bruce squares one up and hits a home run from New England to Old England

4. Billy Hamilton steals at least 80 bases for the Reds and one Ferrari for Mevs

5. Fudgie the Whale Ice Cream cake (seriously, Carvel, send me free cake by now)

And for no reason whatsoever, this is the image I use for Clint around these parts...

"that-sah spicy birth-day!"

Pretty sure he isn't even from Mexico.

Curveballs for Jobu 5/31/11

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Paul Spoljaric.

Blue Jays 11, Indians 1.
Our long national (international?) nightmare is over after Jo Jo Reyes snapped his 28 start non-winning streak that spanned nearly 3 years. Reyes got the win by pitching a complete game and allowing just a run. Jose Bautista went 2-3 with a walk to get his OBP back over .500 for the season. The Indians have lost 5 of 6 and I think it's safe to declare the sky is falling.

Yankees 5, A's 0.
I'm sold. Shoot me up with some stem cells. Even though it was the dismal A's offense, Bartolo Colon threw a 4-hit, complete game shutout while striking out 6 and walking none. Colon has a 3.26/3.35/2.91 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) line as a 38-year-old. *googles shady doctors in my area*

Angels 10, Royals 8.
Ervin Santana got off to a rough start but the Angels bats were able to bail him out. Santana's first 6 pitches went for a leadoff home rum, four pitch walk and a 2-run home run. But the Angels managed to battle back to overcome a 5 run deficit with home runs by Mark Trumbo and Peter Bourjos in the 8th and took the lead with a 2-run homer by Torii Hunter in the 9th. It was Hunter's second of the game and his 1,000 career RBI. Royals struggling closer Joakim Soria lost his job to Aaron Crow after blowing the save. This, kids, is why you don't change your nickname if it's something badass like the Mexicutioner.

Diamondbacks 15, Marlins 4.
Arizona mashed their way to 7 straight wins on the backs of Justin Upton (5-5, 2B, HR) and Kelly Johnson (4-7, 2B, 3B, 2 HR). Willie Bloomquist, Sean Burroughs and Xavier Nady also had plate appearances.

Reds 7, Brewers 3.
Jay Bruce just keeps crushing everything. Bruce went 3-4 with a triple and home run. He leads the National League in 2 of the 3 Triple Crown categories but I wouldn't hold my breath on him making up that 50 points of batting average he's down.

Phillies 5, Nationals 4.
Roy Halladay surrendered 10 hits including 3 home runs but he and the Phils both survived the un-Doc outing with a win. Chase Utley went 0-3 with 2 walks. I sense a hot streak right around the corner. Livan Hernandez tossed his automatic 6+ innings giving up 8 hits and 4 runs. You can pencil that in for almost every start.

Other games, but down here...
Tigers 6, Twins 5.
Mariners 4, Orioles 3.
Rangers 11, Rays 5.
White Sox 7, Red Sox 3.
Padres 3, Braves (10).
Astros 12, Cubs 7.
Giants 7, Cardinals 3.
Mets 7, Pirates 3.
Dodgers 7, Rockies 1.

Curveballs for Jobu 5/30/11

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Hanley Frias.

Diamondbacks 4, Astros 2.
The D-Backs have won 6 straight to take over first place in the NL West. And I have no clue how it happened. I wasn't even sure they were still playing in MLB. Arizona's third basemen include Melvin Mora and Sean Burroughs. That's silly.

Dodgers 8, Marlins 0.
Clayton Kershaw dazzled with a 2-hit, 10 strikeout shutout. Ricky Nolasco had the opposite of Kershaw's day giving up 15 hits and 8 runs in 5 innings. That kind of pitching line gets, you guessed it, the Scott Kazmir nod of approval.

Braves 2, Reds 1.
The Reds couldn't solve Jair Juerrjens and wasted great performances from Johnny Cueto and Jay Bruce. Bruce went 2-3 with his 15th and NL best home run. May has been quite nice for him now let's see if the streaky one can carry it over into June.

Blue Jays 13, White Sox 4.
Jose Bautista went 1-4 without a home run but that's okay because something has rubbed off on Corey Patterson. Patterson went 4-5 with a homer and has 9 hits in his last 2 games. Dallas McPhearson pinch hit-struck out for the White Sox. I keep forgetting he's on an MLB roster.

Rays 7, Indians 0.
Jeremy Hellickson shut out the Tribe over 7 innings to best Justin Masterson. Cleveland is just 5-5 over their last 10 but that is still a better mark than the rest of the AL Central.

Angels 6, Twins 5.
The Angels bullpen, always the adventure, managed to get a clean inning from Fernando Rodney before Jordan Walden did his best Rodney impression. Walden gave up 2 runs on 2 hits and 2 walks before recording the save. Mark Trumbo absolutely wrecked a ball into the second deck. Jeff Mathis went 2-4 to raise his slash line to .204/.233/.276 for the season. How can we get him more starts?

Other games, but down here...
Mets 9, Phillies 5.
Padres 5, Nationals 4.
Brewers 6, Giants 0.
Cubs 3, Pirates 2.
Cardinals 4, Rockies 3.
Red Sox 4, Tigers 3. Part 1
Rangers 7, Royals 6.
A's 6, Orioles 4.
Yankees 7, Mariners 1.
Tigers 3, Red Sox 0. Part 2

Curveballs for Jobu 5/25/11

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is McKay Christensen.

White Sox 8, Rangers 6.
Offense might be down this year (it is) but it seems like everyday there is another player hitting 3 home runs in one game. Tuesday was Carlos Quentin's turn to join in the fun. He went 3-5 with 3 homers and 2 strikeouts. Adam Dunn showed signs of life going 1-3 with a home run and a walk. He's still hitting under .200 and slugging under .400 for the season. He's clearly out to sabotage my fantasy season. It's the only reasonable explanation.

A's 6, Angels 1.
David DeJesus came out of nowhere to hit a pair of home runs off of Dan Haren. It was all very confusing considering DeJesus had only 2 homers and a .232/.312/.344 line entering yesterday. With no save situation in site, Brian Fuentes had the night off from being lousy. The entire AL West is separated by 2 games.

Red Sox 4, Indians 2.
Josh Beckett dealt the Indians just their 5th home loss. Jason Varitek hit his first home run of the season. I also learned that Jason Varitek is still playing baseball. Indians young catcher Carlos Santana is mired in an 0-19 slump.

Reds 6, Phillies 3.
My pal Mev's (Diamond Hoggers) not so secret crush, Jay Bruce, avoided the golden sombrero and snapped the Reds 6 game losing streak with the go ahead 3-run double in the 9th inning. The notoriously streaky Bruce has just been owning the month of May with 8 home runs and a .333/.395/.718 line. Speaking of crushes, Chase Utley had a single!

Rockies 12, Diamondbacks 4. Part 1
Carlos Gonzalez is also starting to heat up in May. He hit 2 home runs giving him 7 for May with a 280/.389/.627 line. The bigger news out of this game was Jorge de la Rosa's elbow exploding. The lefty starter for the Rox tore his ulner collateral ligament which will cost him this season as Tommy John surgery is likely days away.

Cubs 11, Mets 1.
The Cubs aren't exactly in great shape either but it must be awful to be a Mets fan right now. I'd be keeping an eye on Mr. Met in case he's buying hundreds of feet of rope to fashion a giant noose.

Other games, but down here...
Orioles 5, Royals 3.
Tigers 7, Rays 6.
Yankees 5, Blue Jays 4. Jose Bautista homers, 0.
Twins 4, Mariners 2.
Braves 2, Pirates 0.
Dodgers 5, Astros 4.
Brewers 7, Nationals 6.
Diamondbacks 5, Rockies 2. Part 2
Cardinals 3, Padres 2 (11).
Marlins 5, Giants 1.