2013 Team Awards: Cincinnati Reds

In order to review the 2013 season, the crackpot staff of Off Base is handing out awards to each Major League team. Please send us $19.95 for the shipping and handling of your team's Hello Kitty stickers awards. Here are the Most Valuable Player, Least Valuable Player, Cy Young, Cy Yuck, Rookie of the Year and Reliever of the Year for the Cincinnati Reds. 

*Guidelines, prices and participation may vary by author*

MVP: Joey Votto

This wasn't an easy one. From someone who watched 95% of the team's games (only missing because I work during the week and couldn't skip out of work early for every mid-week businessman's special game), I think one of the damning qualities of the 2013 Reds may have been the lack of a true MVP. The numbers are there to please the sabermetrics crowd for Joey Votto (.305/.435/.491), but he honestly wasn't anything terrific in 2013. Let me rephrase; he wasn't 2010 Joey Votto, because that guy was an absolute menace for opposing pitching staffs. 

Votto had the nice 6.2 fWAR, but something seemed off. If I had to guess, he's still not completely back from knee surgery after the 2012 season. His lower half seemed to fail him - compare his ISO from the 2010 miraculous season (.276) and in 2013 (.186) and you see that it's a guy whose dip in power could completely be coming from a lack of torque in the lower half. Votto is still an amazing hitter without being at full strength; but for the Reds to take the next step and actually win a playoff series he's going to have to be more than just real good. That could happen, or the Reds could have someone else step up and carry the team, allowing Joey Votto to just be real good. As it stands the Reds have a bunch of 'pretty good' players but no one who was actually ELITE-ELITE. It felt that living and dying with them each night last summer. 

When the lights went out on their season, I drank a bottle of Sailor Jerry rum as I watched the outs melt away like sands through an hourglass. I didn't go into work the next day. I turned off my phone and didn't return text messages or calls. I needed that time for me. It was as if someone died and I needed the mourning period after the funeral. I am beginning to realize my allegiance to this franchise might not be a healthy habit in my life. To be a Reds fan with this current core, my one piece of advice would be to have a physical performed by your doctor to make sure you have a healthy functioning liver and kidneys. If he gets back to you with good news it's safe to proceed. 

LVP: Brandon Phillips 

I've always been a big Brandon Phillips supporter. I like the guy. He drove in a career-high 103 runs this past season. He made some jaw-dropping plays in the field. He played in 151 games. These are all things I appreciate as a fan. But we also saw the bad side of Phillips - like bitching about Joey Votto's contract in July. Or cussing out Reds beat writer C. Trent Rosecrans (and calling him the Pillsbury Doughboy). 

These things left a rotten taste in my mouth. When Phillips was complaining about his contract in comparison to Votto's, my question is why is this player doing this in such an important season? Why would someone who supposedly bleeds his team's colors in his veins creating a remarkable distraction in a season that the Reds needed to go deep in the postseason? The window is getting ready to close, and this guy is being a prick over money. I can live with a lot of things - but I'm starting to consider the notion of living without Brandon Phillips being a part of my favorite sports franchise. Let him go be a diva in a big market town. Let him go tell Mike Lupica to eat a bag of dicks out in New York. 

The Brandon Phillips who used to be a power/speed threat is no more. He stole five bases last season. He's slowly contributing to the Reds becoming a station-to-station National League club who sits around and waits for the three-run homer. Dusty Baker gets some blame in all of this, but in a division with the Cardinals and upstart Pirates, being a team in that mold is a huge problem. I think the Reds front office shares this same feeling with me, which is why you'll hear whispers of Phillips getting dealt in the off-season. Best guess is that Phillips talks his way into another chance with the Reds and they don't find the right price from a taker, but DatDude better change dem ways.

Cy Young: Aroldis Chapman 

I really can't overstate what it's like to have a lead and to send Aroldis Chapman into a game in the ninth inning. It's not that he converts every lead into a win - he's blown five saves in each of the last two seasons and when he's going to blow one you know it almost from his warm-up tosses. When bad Aroldis shows up, you're fucked. And it's painfully obvious. But I'm not sure I've ever seen a more dominating arm in my lifetime. I feel like getting to watch him his 105 MPH when I'm live at the stadium must have been what it was like to watch Michael Jordan in the old Slam Dunk contests. It's something you'll never see again no matter how long you live. 

Chapman posted a career high 15.83 K/9 in 2013. He was only worth 1.6 fWAR, but it's not his fault that his idiot manager petitioned the organization in Spring Training to leave Aroldis as a reliever. Even pitching coach Bryan Price (now Reds manager) was ready to make Chapman a starter where he could truly be a Cy Young candidate. But nooooooooo..... Dusty Baker and his status quo act had to step in and shit in everyone's birthday cake. 

I could have given this award to Mat Latos. But that just felt 'blah' to me. Aroldis Chapman is the best pitcher on the Reds roster. He has two 80-grade pitches. He just needs to be in the right role, and I think you'll see Aroldis as a starter in 2014.

Cy Yuck: Johnny Cueto

Now this will raise some eyebrows, but hear me out. Johnny Cueto was really good when he was part of the Reds rotation in 2013 (5-2, 2.82 ERA, 51 K, 18 BB) but the guy only appeared in 11 games. The injury bug that bit him in the 2012 playoffs continued to bite in 2013, leaving the Reds rotation in a constant state of flux due to the fact their 'ace' was rehabbing through the entire season. 

And then in true Dusty fashion, they throw Cueto out there for the one-game Wildcard Playoff in Pittsburgh because he looked good in a couple tune-up starts against a teams who were ready to start their golf game (the Astros). 

Cueto's wind-up might be causing the durability issues. And he looked completely rattled in Pittsburgh in one of the biggest games in modern franchise history. Everyone has an off night where their stuff just isn't there, but it was obvious from the opening moments of that game that Cueto's focus was off and the ferocious Pittsburgh crowd ruined him. I don't want that from my ace. And the Reds continue the trend of starting the wrong guy in the postseason (remember when they led with Edison Volquez)? What the hell are they trying to do to me. If you're keeping score at home, Cueto was worth a sparkling 0.6 fWAR in 2013. It's amazing that the Reds were able to win as many games as they did getting this minimal amount of output out of their number one (thank you Tony Cingrani).

Reliever of the Year: Aroldis Chapman

(Imagine Bart Simpson writing this on the chalkboard at the beginning of a Simpsons episode):
Screw you Dusty Baker.
Screw you Dusty Baker. 
Screw you Dusty Baker. 
Screw you Dusty Baker. 
Screw you Dusty Baker. 

Happy Birthday, Mevs

Clintoneous Mevolanate Evans was born in a small town in Ohio. His parents made an honest living. His mother worked hard as a part time teacher and full time mother while his father slaved away in the harsh Ohian coal mines so young Clint could watch baseball on the teletube.

Okay, so, most to all of that is untrue. Or so I assume. In the age of social media, people just meet people and become fast friends like me and that Saudi Arabian prince who owes me several hundred thousand dollars and precious gem stones.

Clint is the mastermind behind the underrated baseball blog, Diamond Hoggers, and the fantastic, but hibernating, podacast The Baseball Show. I was lucky enough to be invited to The Baseball Show by our mutual friend, Mike Rosenbaum of Bleacher Report fame. After my first podcast with them, they made me a regular and had to deal with way more than they expected. Derwood even got some airtime on the podcast. If you listen closely, you can still hear him eating pretzels during recordings.

Despite having never met each other in person, Clint is one of my best friends and I can't figure out what to get him for his birthday after my Yasiel Puig impersonator got deported. And I spent so much time teaching him the Icky Shuffle.

In lieu of getting Pseudo-Puig to show up, here are my birthday wishes for Clint:

1. Bryce Harper shows up and demolishes a pinata filled with Bryce Harper memorabilia

2. Clint's little boy learns how to switch hit. His little boy is a bulldog puppy

3. Jay Bruce squares one up and hits a home run from New England to Old England

4. Billy Hamilton steals at least 80 bases for the Reds and one Ferrari for Mevs

5. Fudgie the Whale Ice Cream cake (seriously, Carvel, send me free cake by now)

And for no reason whatsoever, this is the image I use for Clint around these parts...

"that-sah spicy birth-day!"

Pretty sure he isn't even from Mexico.

2013 Team Awards: Washington Nationals

MVP: Jayson Werth


I think we're ready now.

Mr. Werewolf Jayson Werth is the 2013 Washington Nationals team MVP. He played in just 129 team games and was worth 4.6 fWAR, making that monster contract just a bit more tolerable. That's probably not great news for the Nationals though - there's no way this guy can earn his keep two years straight right? They'll need him to do this again next year, and that's likely a lot to ask because Werth was phenomenal. A .319 average had him amongst league leaders in the category. Add in 25 homers, a .398 on-base, ten bonus steals and you have what would have been a monster year for Werth had he not missed any time.  He was also -9.0 fWAR defensively, so if he could have even been worth a little in the field of play he would have had a truly remarkable season. Still, he was able to beat out the likes of Ian Desmond, Jordan Zimmerman, and Bryce Harper as most valuable Nat. And that's swell!

Now say "Werewolve Werth" ten times without screwing up as fast as you can!

LVP: Adam LaRoche
I watched enough Nationals games in 2013 to become annoyed with LaRoche on a weekly basis. And man was he poor. LaRoche was worth a whopping 0.6 fWAR and was allowed to play in 152 games this past campaign. He delivered to the Nationals a .237/.332/.441 and went home. If you want to know why the Nationals took a step back in 2013, look no further than the drop off of production from this supposed slugging corner infielder. That probably wasn't real when he was a 3.4 fWAR in 2012 but rather a career year. If he could have done roughly half that the Nationals would have made things even more interesting down the stretch.

Cy Young: Jordan Zimmerman
Another one of those guys who will figure just fine into the real National League Cy Young Award race. He won't win it but he should finish top five, and he was easily the Nationals best pitcher in 2013. A 3.6 fWAR producer, the durable right-hander made all 32 of his starts survived despite a subpar K-Rate (6.79 K/9) because the son of a gun knows how to pitch and has impeccable control, evidenced by his 1.69 BB/9. In comparison, Gio Gonzalez walked about two more hitters per nine last season and struggled a little bit to be 'the old Gio'. Comfortably in the middle of those two in both fWAR and BB/9 was the guy who should have been named the Nationals best pitcher if he threw like he had any heart, Stephen Strasburg.

Cy Yuck: Dan Haren
The Nationals owned the rights to $13 million dollar Danny this past season, and what a prize that was to own the deed to.

This was another one of those players entering the season where you just kind of felt like it was disaster waiting to happen - and if you felt that way you were somewhat Nostradamus because Haren was mostly shitty. His 1.5 fWAR tells too little of the story. He actually struck out eight hitters per nine innings which isn't terrible. But 13% of the balls hit in the air off a Haren pitch left the park. That's kind of scary isn't it? And it's even more scary because only 36% of his batted balls were on the ground. Dan Haren is the reason the Nats can't have nice things.

ROY: Tanner Mother F'in Roark
Tanner Roark is the truth. He is both the question, and the answer. He looks like he should be teaching 8th grade science and somehow he goes out and shuts the other team down one quality start at a time. In 14 games he had a fWAR of 1.4 and went 7-1 for the Nationals. A career minor leaguer prior the season, Roark was a huge reason that the Nationals stayed in the race until the late going. I watched him extensively because he was a late season fantasy baseball pick-up. He's one of those guys who; how should I put this, I don't know why Tanner Roark was successful. He looks like your garden variety guy who throws 90-91 MPH with so-so control and he doesn't really have that one phenomenal pitch when he gets in a jam or deep in a count. But the sumbitch just competes! He has guile! He's so cool on the mound that if he had any Columbian blood inside him we could call him 'El Padrino'. I don't know that that means but it is a cool nickname, eh?

He sort of looks like Eric Mathews off Boy Meets World. Sort of.

Reliever of the Year: Tyler Clippard
Man this is some slim pickings, but I guess Clippard takes home the prized hardware. Goggles McClippard was a solid set-up man for the Nationals who managed not to fuck things up too many times while the game was graced with his lanky presence. We won't go into fWAR because he wasn't worth all that much. None of these guys were, really. I was told the entire season came and went and the Nationals bullpen was not offered one free drink in the state of Maryland all year! True story. Something has gone terribly wrong when that happens. Clippard's numbers of note: 9.25 K/9, .170 BABIP (lucky SOB), nice little 2.41 ERA, and 154 mixed drinks paid for in-full. You think that's bad, Drew Storen was spending so much money on his booze that he quit drinking!

2013 Team Awards: Los Angeles Dodgers

In order to review the 2013 season, the crackpot staff of Off Base is handing out awards to each Major League team. Please send us $19.95 for the shipping and handling of your team's Hello Kitty stickers awards. Here are the Most Valuable Player, Least Valuable Player, Cy Young, Cy Yuck, Rookie of the Year and Reliever of the Year for the Los Angeles Dodgers. *Guidelines, prices and participation may vary by author*

MVP: Yasiel Puig
In his rookie season, Yasiel Puig was off the page phenomenal. Many scouting reports and scouts alike said Puig was to be considered an average to above average prospect. Nearly from the onset, the 'Wild Horse' seemed to provide an intangible spark that turned the Dodgers season from Titanic to Cuban cruise ship. Puig posted a 4.0 fWAR (Fangraphs Wins Above Replacement) in just 104 games played. As evidenced by his .319/.391/.534 slash line, it was obvious to those that spent late nights tuning into Puigmania that this kid has the chance to be something other-worldly. The first two months of his big league season provided a season's worth of signature moments. Puig was one of those rare players who left you wanting more when his season ended - and it was more exciting at times seeing him strike out or make an error than it was seeing others play the game fundamentally perfect. When you think of the Dodgers 2013 season you will forever think of Yasiel Puig. Or perhaps you will think of something else. But I name the young Cuban sensation the team MVP in 2013.

LVP: Matt Kemp
Matt Kemp made $20.25 million dollars in 2013, and he provided a -0.4 fWAR. Then Kemp hurt his shoulder. Then he hurt his hamstring. Then the final pin was stuck in the Matt Kemp voodoo doll when he hurt his ankle and was done for the year. Dodgers fans spent much of the season waiting for the return of a mythological figure - but that figure was more Hyperion than Zeus. Kemp hit .270, slugged .395, and posted a meager .150 ISO. His future as a Dodger is now in question, with the one reason Kemp remains a Dodger being that albatross of a salary.

Cy Young: Clayton Kershaw
Who else would it be? Kershaw had arguably his finest season as a big league player in his age 25 season posting a 1.83 ERA and 6.5 fWAR. Any time that the guy could win the award league-wide, it should make for a pretty easy write-up in this space. Kershaw is about to become a very rich man. Don't be surprised if he has $300 million in his near future and signs a lifetime contract with the Dodgers. And right on cue, Kershaw was named the top NL pitcher by his peers. These guys are no dummies.

Cy Yuck: Brandon League
Before I even saw the numbers, I wanted to include Mr. League right here. And then I saw that he ranked lowest among Dodgers pitchers in fWAR (-1.0) and yup, he's going where I had him slotted. After 14 indigestion inducing saves, League relinquished the closer's role to Kenley Jansen shortly after the season's first month. Despite how our editor-in-chief in these parts (M.J.) feels about the save as a whole - I wouldn't trust this guy to effectively build a Whopper sandwich - let alone record the three most important outs of a ballgame. League's 4.64 K/9 and 5.30 ERA would find a way to screw things up. League is one of those guys who reminds you that a guy can have phenomenal stuff and pass the eye test and still be entirely horrible. Thank goodness that bearded man arrived later in the season to bring peace to the late innings in Dodgerland.

ROY: That Puig guy again
I don't need to say a whole lot more than I said when I named him team MVP. I just need to post his first big league bat flip:

Reliever of the Year: Kenley Jansen
I love me some Kenley Jansen. I love him so much I am considering keeping him in my fantasy baseball league over the likes of teammate Hyun-Jin Ryu and Patrick Corbin. That's completely stupid, but I feel that he'll be one of fantasy (and real baseball's!) most valuable relievers over the next few seasons. Jansen was dominant, posting a 13.03 K/9 and posting a 1.88 ERA. When you see him take the mound and the Dodgers are wearing white, it's a matter of minutes until you're hearing 'I Love L.A.' by that guy who sung the songs in the Toy Story movies, Randy Newman. It's one of the coolest baseball victory traditions in existence, all made possible by the dominant closer and the fact that the Dodgers won a lot of baseball games in 2013. People were talking about his dominant fastball back in 2011. This past year he threw it almost ten percent more of the time (94.1%) than back in those days. Let me check.... yep... it's still dominant.

MLB '13 The Show Needs a Coverboy

Every sport has a signature video game. For baseball, SCE San Diego Studio's MLB The Show Series gives you everything you want in a game of simulation hardball, and each year it seems to deliver more of the things baseball fans want to see.

This year, the player who will don the cover of the game seems like a can't miss no matter how voting ends up. Matt Kemp, CC Sabathia, Andrew McCutchen, Bryce Harper, Buster Posey, Ryan Braun, Miguel Cabrera and Johnny Giavotella are the candidates. Fans can cast their ballot by heading over to MLB.com/covervote and joining in via twitter or Facebook.

Baseball is doing a great job of promoting this as the marquee game of their sport. All hands are on deck with the aforementioned Twitter, Facebook, and MLB.com outlets. Each candidate made a campaign video (here's McCutchen's) and I even heard Colin Cowherd talking about the game with CC Sabathia today on ESPN Radio during my lunch break. 

I can tell you from experience, this game is worthy of all the hype. It's one of the few things in my life that year after year continues to deliver without diminishing returns. Even a new car is only great for the first year you have it. After that, you've got trash on the floor and your friends will smoke cigarettes in it without asking.

This game delivers a feel so real, you'll smell peanuts and pine tar from the minute you throw it in your Playstation. Sorry XBOX owners, you're left out in the cold like George Jung for now. 

If you have the time on your hands, I challenge you to pick the game up and try to play a full 162-game season. It might sound like it gets boring or tedious to some, but you'll never see the same thing twice in this game. And over the course of playing a season with that many game you'll see some rare special things at about the same rate you would see them over the course of the real-life season. You'll get blown out, win an 18-inning game in which you have to insert a pitcher to play left field, make a game saving catch, hit grand slams, have a shot at records, endure slumps, rain delays; it's all in this game if you allow play it out and allow it to come to you. 

Now, head over to twitter and send a simple tweet '#MLB13HARPER' to vote for the guy I want to see on the cover. 

Follow @mlbtheshow for more details of The Show '13 cover vote race. At press time, Andrew McCutchen holds a surprising decisive lead.