Chipper Jones Makes Walk Off Home Runs Sexy

Freddie Freeman cemented himself a place in Atlanta Braves lore last night when he ensured that last years epic collapse would not happen again this year. A little fitting that it was he who grounded into the season ending double play last year, I'm a sucker for sentimentality. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, this is not about Freddie Freeman coming through in the clutch, this is not even about coming through in the clutch.

This is about how Chipper Jones, just by being in the vicinity of awesome, can make that much more great.

Shot Of The Night: Walk Off Edition

Shot Of The Night is Off Base Percentage's toast to a player who had an exceptionally good or bad night. There's always a reason to drink.

The shot of the night waited until all of the games were over but it didn't have to. Tonight's shot of the night is a Curtain Call: 1 part Jagermeister® herbal liqueur, 1 part Midori® melon liqueur, 1 part Jack Daniel's® Tennessee whiskey. I'm pretty sure after a couple of those you'd be under the curtain or wearing it as a dress. Tonight's shot is in honor of Carlos Gonzalez.

CarGo had a pretty good night at the plate for the Rockies. He went 4-4 and also had a sac fly. Not only did Gonzalez hit the walk off homer in the 9th, the home run completed his cycle. If I wasn't so lazy to do the research, it seems like we're having an absurd amount of cycles, no hitters, perfect games, golden sombreros and platinum sombreros this season. It's probably all due to random chance but I prefer to believe it's some kind of baseball voodoo. I may also have been in New Orleans for too long.

Honorable Mention: Ryan Zimmerman
Zimmerman went 2-4 with a home run. But guess what that home run was? You're right. It was a walk off in bottom of the 9th. I should really stop putting the answer to my little quizzes in the title of my posts. I alluded it to it early in my trade roundup earlier but I think I'm jumping on the Nationals bandwagon. I can have an AL and NL team right?

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Mickey Morandini.

Alright baseball fans, shut ins and people who Googled drunk donkey looking for something else entirely, Derwood is prepping for his trip to Anaheim so I'll be your Sherpa though the parks. Derwood hates the All Star Game and the Angels so it's only fitting that he's going to cover it for us. What a jerk. On that note...

Angels 6, A's 5 (10). The Angels got a win after being swept in a 4 game series against the White Sox. Joel Pinero had a quality start pitching 7 inning while allowing 3 runs but then Fernando Rodney happened. In one inning, Rodney gave up 2 runs on 3 hits doing his best Brian Fuentes impersonation. Luckily the Angels were able to count on the power source known as Erick Aybar and he hit his 3rd home run of the season in the 10th to get the Angels the W.

Phillies 9, Reds 7 (10). Rookie Red pitcher Mike Leake was cruising into the 9th with a 7-1 lead. But no lead is safe when your opponent has Greg Dobbs and Cody Ransom. The modern day Gehrig-Ruth duo each homered in the 9th to help the Phils tie it at 7. For those keeping score at home, that's Dobbs' 3rd of the year and Ransom's 1st. Ryan Howard would go on to hit a walk off 2-run home run in the bottom of the 10th. Game balls go to Reds' relievers Fransisco Cordero and Arthur Rhodes. They combined for 0.2 innings, 3 hits, 2 walks and 4 runs.

O's 7, Rangers 6 (10). The Rangers won the Cliff Lee sweepstakes and then lost to the Orioles. Talk about two ends of the spectrum. The Rangers had a 6-2 lead going into the 9th powered by Vlad Guerrero's 20th homer of the season. *sigh* But no lead is safe when your opponent has Corey Patterson and Jake Fox. Patterson hit a 2-out grand slam off of Neftali Feliz to tie the game at 6 in the 9th. Then Fox hit the go ahead home run in the 10th for the O's win. Baltimore's 2 game winning streak leaves them only 28 games out of first place in the East in early July. Good times.

Brewers 5, Pirates 4 (10). Our final 10 inning game of the night is fairly boring compared to the rest. It included Octavio Dotel blowing a save and a walk off single by Ryan Braun. That's not fun. Where are the game tying and walk off homers by George Kottaras and Joe Inglett?

Springfield Nuclear Power Plant Softball Team

With the recent retirement of Ken Griffey Jr, all of Mr. Burns' ringers from the Homer At The Bat episode of The Simpsons have officially retired from baseball (h/t to @VictorRojas29). That was episode 17 of season 3 or for all of you nerds, 8F13. Let's all pile in the way back machine and take a look at the greatest fictional softball team in the history of cartoon sports.

In 1992, Homer was trying to get his fellow employees to sign up for the softball team after they went 2-28 the prior season. This season, however, Homer had a secret weapon. He carved a bat out of a branch that was struck by lightning during a storm. *Fun Fact 1: Homer used a large piece of sheet metal for shelter during the storm* By Homer's gorilla math, in 30 games with 10 at bats per game, he would hit 3000 home runs with Wonder Bat. Of course, Homer homers the team into the championship game against the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant.

Mr. Burns made a million dollar bet with Shelbyville Plant owner Aristotle Amadopoulos. Determined to win by cheating, Burns decided to put together a team of ringers led by Honus Wagner, Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown and dead-for-130-years Jim Creighton. *Fun Fact 2: In 1862, Jim Creighton never made an out at the plate for the entire season* Since Burns was unable to attain the services of these players, he had to turn to active major league stars. Sadly, most of them would never make it to the game. Let's take a look at the lineup that never was and don't forget that the fourth inning is the beer inning.

Roger Clemens

In 1991, Clemens went 18-10 with a league best 2.62 ERA and 241 strikeouts for the Red Sox. He won the AL Cy Young and finished 10th in MVP voting.

Job at SNPP: Security guard

Highlights: Broke Homer's Wonder Bat with a pitch during batting practice. Mistook Homer for Ken Griffey Jr.

Misfortune: Burns hired a hypnotist to get the team to give their maximum effort. But like in every hypnotic mishap, Clemens ended up thinking he was a chicken and couldn't pitch in the big game.

Wade Boggs

In 1991, Boggs hit .332/.421/.460 for the Red Sox. He was an All Star and won the Silver Slugger award for third base.

Job at SNPP: Janitor

Hightlights: He ate chicken before every game and took batting practice at 5:17. Needless to say, third base wasn't really a position of focus in the episode.

Misfortune: While enjoying a beer at Moe's, Boggs got into the popular bar debate with Barney over who was the greatest British Prime Minister of all time. Boggs defended Pitt the Elder while Barney is more a Lord Palmerston man. Lord Palmerston, come on. He was barely awarded the Order of the Garter by Victoria in 1856. But Barney knocked Boggs out anyway and Wade never made it to the big game.

Ken Griffey Jr.

Griffey was only 21-years-old in 1991 and just finished his third season with the Mariners. He hit 22 home runs and .327/.399/.527. He was an All Star and won a Gold Glove and the Silver Slugger award for center field.

Job at SNPP: Lunchroom cashier

Highlights: None, doomed from the start.

Misfortune: Burns insisted that the team drink Brain and Nerve Tonic instead of beer. Griffey became hooked on it and developed one of the rare possible cases of gigantism. *Fun Fact 3: Griffey was not a big fan of his line "There's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited."*

Steve Sax

While mainly playing second base for the Yankees in 1991, Sax hit .304/.345/.414. Perhaps Robbie Alomar didn't like The Simpsons in '91.

Job at SNPP: Undeclared

Highlights: Played in the Steve Sax trio. Drove an automobile.

Misfortune: Sax got pulled over by the capable Springfield police and they discover Saxy was from New York. They charged him with all of the unsolved crimes in Springfield and he faced up to 6 consecutive life sentences.

Ozzie Smith

The 36-year-old short stop hit .285/.380./.367 while swiping 35 bases in 1991. He was an All Star and won his 12th consecutive Gold Glove at short stop.

Job at SNPP: Undeclared

Highlights: Impressed by Elvis' lifestyle because he used to relax while watching three TVs at once. Wore an old man Hawaiian shirt.

Misfortune: Smith took a visit to The Springfield Mystery Spot (Where Logic Takes A Holiday And All Laws Of Nature Are Meaningless) and fell into some sort of wormhole to another dimension. That happened to my friend Beavis once. He drinks a lot of beer now.

Jose Canseco

Canseco led the American League in home runs with 44 in 1991. He wouldn't hit over 40 again until 1998. That's just some bad dope. In 1991, he also hit .266/.359/.556 in his last season in Oakland.

Job at SNPP: Undeclared

Highlights: Even trying to get some extra bucks as a cartoon in 1991, Canseco charged children money for autographs. Slept with Edna Krabappel in the original script. *Fun Fact 4: Al Jean said all of the players were nice except for one whose name rhymed with Manseco*

Misfortune: After he forced a rewrite, Canseco ended up missing the game while saving a woman's furniture from a house fire. What a swell guy he is.

Don Mattingly

Mattingly hit .288/.339./.394 while playing Gold Glove defense at first for the Yankees. I have nothing against Mattingly but I don't understand the people who think he's a Hall of Famer. Even in his MVP season, George Brett had a much better year. Sorry, Derwood.

Job at SNPP: Undeclared

Highlights: Given one of the episode's best lines, wait for it...

Misfortune: Burns, ever the stickler, demanded Mattingly shave off his sideburns which he tried to do. Burns kicked Mattingly off of the team after deciding Don had still not shaved his sideburns. Mattingly responded by saying, "I still like him better than Steinbrenner." *Fun Fact 5: Mattingly was told to cut his long hair and was dropped from the lineup briefly for not doing so the year after this episode. Life imitating art*

Darryl Strawberry

In 1991, Strawberry played his first season away from the Mets with the Dodgers. He hit 28 home runs while batting .265/.361/.491 and it was good enough to make him an All Star.

Job at SNPP: Kiss ass

Highlights: Kissed Mr. Burns' ass from day one. Hit 9 home runs in the championship game. Had the best exchange in the episode...

Homer Simpson: You're Darryl Strawberry!
Darryl Strawberry: Yes.
Homer Simpson: You play right field.
Darryl Strawberry: Yes.
Homer Simpson: I play right field too.
Darryl Strawberry: So?
Homer Simpson: Well, are you better than me?
Darryl Strawberry: Well, I've never met you, but... yes.

Misfortune: The percentages. Otherwise, he was the only ringer to make it to the championship game.

Mike Scioscia

Scioscia hit .264/.353/.391 in his second to last season catching for the Dodgers in 1991. He would go on to manage my beloved Halos to their World Series championship in 2002.

Job at SNPP: Ran the solid contaminating capsulator

Highlights: Hauled radioactive waste. Shot Smithers after mistaking him for a deer. Dream job included big machines and cool dials.

Misfortune: Acquired an acute case of radiation poisoning leaving him unable to lift his arms or speak at a normal rate.

The Big Game

With the game tied 43-43 in the bottom of the ninth, Burns decided to play the percentages. Burns pinch hit for Strawberry to avoid the lefty-lefty match-up against the pitcher. Strawberry only hit 11 home runs and .276/.370/.478 against lefties in 1991 so it was kind of a no-brainer. Homer would come up to bat with the bases loaded and two outs. And then the greatest moment in championship baseball happened since Kirk Gibson in 1988...



The walk-off hit by a pitch.

Boy did Springfield get drunk that night.

Engel Beltre's Walk-Off Brawl

I might as well cover all of the weird walk-offs that happen around baseball. You might remember me from such classics as Kendry Morales' Walk-Off Gone Wrong or this one.

Engel Beltre was, once upon a time, one of the Rangers top prospects but his shininess has seemed to wear off over the years. He's still only 20-years-old so perhaps it's too early to totally give up on him. It's not like he's out there starting brawls. Err...

Beltre crushed a tenth inning walk-off homerun to give the Bakersville Blaze the win over the Oakland Gang Safety Zones San Jose Giants. While Beltre made his way to second, it appears as if he was shouting "mighty good game ol' chaps" to opposing team members. But after he rounded second, the other team seemed agitated. Does Beltre do an offensive British accent? By the time he rounds third, there is a full on brawl. It doesn't appear Beltre gets too involved though and eventually makes it to home and flips everybody off.

Check it out before MLB yanks all of these from the Web. Notice how Bakersfield's song after they win puts Sweet Caroline to shame.



Beltre claims he did nothing wrong. Yet he was given a five game suspension anyway. How interesting.

[vid via The Stew]

Kendry Morales' Walk-Off Gone Wrong

The walk-off, game winning hit is one of the most exciting plays in baseball. The walk-off homerun? Even more exciting. The walk-off grand slam? Pure ankle shattering jubilance. The poor start to the 2010 Angels' season took a crippling turn for the worse on Saturday. The Angels' hard slugging (.290/.346/.487) first baseman, Kendry Morales, won the game against the Mariners with a walk-off slam. Good times, right? Nope. After some high fives, a slip and fall, an air cast and a cart ride, Mike Scioscia had this to say

“It’ll change the way we celebrate,” Angels manager Mike Scioscia said before the extent of Morales’ injury was known. “It sure was exciting, but you always wonder if it’s an accident waiting to happen. This is definitely unfortunate. We’ve just got to wait and see what we’re dealing with. We’ll know more information as the night moves on.”

Well, what they're dealing with is ankle surgery that should keep Morales shelved for 10-12 weeks. Bad news bears. To show you guys that we aren't just going to be dick jokes and absurd baseball humor (note: there will be a lot of dick jokes and absurd baseball humor), I'm going to throw out some actual analysis. The Angels are screwed. That's why I gets paid the big bucks. The Angels almost have to turn to the trade market to replace Morales. Robb Quinlan isn't a replacement level player no matter how many B's he spells his name with. The Brandon Wood project at third isn't working out, although I have my fingers crossed that we'll get to see a platinum sombrero soon. So the Angels are back to having no real power to speak of. Hey, how's Texas going, Vlad?

I'm sure the Angels will now kick the tires on Paul Konerko and Lance Berkman or discuss poor decisions like Jermaine Dye. Here's my off base suggestion, teach Elijah Dukes first base and some common sense. He's still young and talented and mentally unstable. And cheap! Come on, Reagins, roll the dice.

And now for your viewing pleasure, the video summary of the walk-off slam and injury...