Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Bip Roberts.

Rangers 4, Twins 0. Rich Harden, who came off the DL a few hours before Monday's game, and three relievers had a no-hitter through 8 1/3 innings before that bum Joe Mauer singled. Andres Blanco: second-inning single.

Giants 11, Reds 2. Edinson Volquez became the latest pitcher to perform in the famous musical Steve Trout: My Story. Volquez faced 10 batters and got two of them out, allowing five earned runs in the first inning as San Fran rolled.

Cubs 9, Nationals 1. The Cubbies had their first good news since May, 2006 as rookie Casey Coleman allowed a run in 6 1/3 innings for his first ML win. In other news, Andrew Cashner pitched 1 2/3 perfect innings and was final given his own locker with a name plate.

Tigers 12, Royals 3. Like MTD (near-overdose on paper clips) Jesse Chavez did not have a very good Monday night. In his inning of work, Chavez allowed seven earned runs, and Kansas City was mathematically eliminated from the 2011 and 2012 AL Central races.

Astros 3, Phillies 2. Brett Wallace: 0-for-4.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy is Ernest Riles

Rays 4, Twins 2. When is Carl Pavano going to stop haunting Yankees fans? First, we had to sit and watch him sit and watch for four seasons, now we watch him and his taxi-driver-in-a-porn mustache win five of his seven starts the last month. The only two Minnesota losses in that stretch? Well, they came against the team jockeying back-and-forth with the Yankees for first place. So once again, on behalf of all Yankees fans, I'd like to say: Carl Pavano, we hate you more than we hated Kenny Rogers, Kevin Brown, Raul Mondesi and Hideki Irabu combined. Or as I now like to refer to him Kencarl Browdesi-Irabu.

Brewers 18, Cubs 1. You know what they say: every 53 years the Cubs face a team from Milwaukee and allow 26 hits. September 2, 1957 it was the Braves, Monday the Brewers (prediction: May 11, 2063, Milwaukee Wombats 22, Cubs 2). The Crew's 2-3-4-5 hitters (Corey Hart, Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder and Casey McGehee) went a combined 16-for-26 with 12 RBIs. It got so bad, Joe Inglett singled.

Astros 9, Cardinals 4. Everything was going fine for the Cards heading into the top of the eighth. New starter Jake Westbrook had allowed one earned run in six innings and St. Louis led 4-2. Then Jason Motte and Mike MacDougal happened. The pair allowed three runs, including Jeff Keppinger's tying double, then in the ninth Trever Miller and Blake Hawksworth put on their own production of Steve Trout: My Story, allowing four more runs, two on Keppinger's single and the 'Stros won their sixth straight.