How Cody Ross Got Me Slapped

And slapped I got. Last night. My office mates here at the Off Base headquarters in New Orleans, all of the noncontributing members, have a guilty pleasure in How I Met Your Mother. Actually, it's less of a guilty pleasure and more of an obsession. Naturally, we now are in the habit of making slap bets. Fans of the know what I'm talking about and if you haven't seen it, I'm sure you can figure out what a slap bet is.

I made a slap bet with with a friend of mine after Cody Ross' offensive outburst in the NLCS. I didn't think Ross would hit another post season home run while my friend became the biggest Cody Ross fan outside of his parents. Ross hit 14 home runs and slugged .413 this season with the Marlins and the Giants. Surely Ross' NLCS MVPness was just another example of baseball's randomness, right?

Nope. Ross hit a solo shot in the top of the 7th off Colby Lewis and the slap bet was over. While I anxiously awaited the inevitable slap, I cursed Cody Ross with every profane word I could think of and consumed a fair amount of Jager and rum. I vaguely remember the slap so it's safe to assume I had properly numbed myself. Oh alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

I might have made a follow up slap bet about Ross hitting another home run. I'll have to check the transcripts from last night.

Cody Ross' Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Well look at that, another Golden Sombrero. This is starting to get out of hand. I'm running out of material for these. I'm out of pinata blooper videos and I can't keep drinking this much cheap tequila. But alas, I can't leave you guys hanging. I do suggest you start filming your own pinata blooper videos and email them to me. There's a nice hat tip in it for you! Alright, on to tonight's free swinging victim.

Cody Ross could have been a nice trade chip for the Marlins but they weren't blown away and held onto that .271/.323/.410 slash line. Good luck with that cornerstone of a franchise. Ross went 1-5 with 4 strikeouts. Let's take a look at his at bats and hand out a giant Mexican hat...

Bottom 3rd: Ross struck out swinging against Roy Oswalt.

Bottom 6th: Ross struck out swinging against Oswalt again. Oswalt showed some flashes of his former self. It's amazing what going to an actual contender can do for a player.

Bottom 7th: Ross struck out looking against Oswalt to barely avoid the MTD Hat Trick. I should probably look into making a glossary for some of our trademarked terminology. I'm pretty sure that's where the proverbial fat cash will come from.

Bottom 9th: Ross struck out swinging against Ryan Madson. Even though the game went extra innings, Ross didn't get another at bat which is a shame because he was well on his way to a Platinum Sombrero. I could use one of those for a change.

Tune in tomorrow, I'm sure there will be another Sombrero.