Jose Canseco has taken to Twitter, rather than the canary who lives in his hair, to publicly declare himself a free agent. Canseco, who last played baseball in 2001, is 46 and last year fought Danny Bonaduce in an MMA fight, said he could be the designated hitter for any MLB team and lead the league in home runs.
One of Canseco's Twitter messages: I am and will always be just simply a baseball player, my tomb stone will just say. Baseball deserves its own post, and perhaps, it's own blog.
Like an early Christmas present, Canseco made this home movie of himself hitting at a Dave & Busters (speculation). Canseco claims the pitching machine is throwing 94 M.P.H.
Couple things about the video:
1. He made that up about the speed of the pitches.
2. His second swing was a foul out to an imaginary catcher that only Canseco sees. His name is Randy.
It may be time for someone to go to the couch Canseco is living under, put him in the van and give him the big, orange pill with the dolphin on it. If no one wanted to give Barry Bonds a job, at age 43 coming off a 1.045-OPS season in 2008, why would someone give Canseco a job, at age 46, coming off a video where he hit .275 at a Malibu Grand Prix Entertainment Center?
Showing posts with label the big orange pill with the dolphin on it. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the big orange pill with the dolphin on it. Show all posts
Friday, December 17, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Editor's Meeting
MTD lives in New Orleans and Derwood built a cabin out of sticks and mud in Atlanta, so occasionally they have to communicate through email. Here's the latest back-and-forth entitled "The Greatest Individual Season of All-Time", which tackles Bonds, Ruth, hot dogs, and of course raccoon humping.
from MTD
to Derwood Morris
date Tue, Jun 15, 2010 at 12:41 PM
subject The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
Sometimes, when I get sad, I go look at the stat line from the greatest season of all time. What Barry Bonds did in 2004 wasn't human. I don't care if he was eating babies and doing lines of coke off of a toilet. He hit 45 home runs and .362/.609/.812 for an OPS+ of 263. Getting on base at a 61% clip was aided by 262 walks (120 intentional), but he also only struck out 41 times. I think that sound you heard was Yuniesky Betancourt's head exploding. His 12.5 WAR is only 7th all time, but it's behind four Babe Ruth seasons and Mantle and Hornsby seasons. His OPS+ is second all time to his 2002 season but I think it's the OBP that puts 2004 over the top for me. What do you have? And you better not say something like the year Scott Brosius managed to put together a 121 OPS+ for the Yankees. *shakes fist*
from Derwood Morris
to MTD
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 1:30 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
You look at Bonds' '04 season when you get sad, I watch tapes of the 1998 World Series, or The Brosius Series, when I get sad. Yes, Barry Bonds in 2004 was very alien-like; the numbers are absolutely ridiculous (especially his +17 Eaten Babies, which led the NL), and I don't think a similar season is coming any time soon. Yet, in the spirit of this cheap wine-induced debate, I give you Babe Ruth's 1920 campaign as the greatest single season of all time.
Barry's walk total (262) and OBP (.609), completely absurd. I'm not going to touch those. But the other numbers are really close.
BA: Ruth, .376, Bonds, .362
SLUG: Ruth .847, Bonds, .812
OPS: Bonds, 1.421, Ruth, 1.379
OPS+: Bonds, 263, Ruth 255
HR: Ruth, 54, Bonds, 45
Pretty tight in those five categories, plus if you believe idiots, Bonds was a dope fiend who would hump a raccoon for a fix, while Ruth just ate hot dogs and drank beer. It was a clean era, man!
Except for the rampant gambling.
from MTD
to Derwood Morris
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 4:00 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
Whoa, those raccoon humping charges got dropped, sir. Plus we don't know what else the Babe was on in the 20s. Sure, he ate hot dogs and drank a lot of beer (we do that too and hit no home runs), but he could have easily been hopped up on, um, weed? People in the 20s thought cigarettes were good for you. In 10 years, everybody will be taking HGH. I'm hoping it will help heal the damage I'm doing to my liver. What were we talking about?
from Derwood Morris
to MTD
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 6:14 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
We were talking about raccoon humping, but I don't think we should be anymore. I once ate a hot dog, drank a beer and hit a home run, but I was playing RBI Baseball.
You know, people in the 2000s also think cigarettes are good for you. Those people are: me. Can we get into an MVP voting discussion please? I'll get it started with Jimmy Rollins in 2007. Apparently, it doesn't matter if your on base percentage is .344 and your OPS is .875, YOU can be National League MVP. Well, not you. Jimmy Rollins. Plenty of people have already attacked the Rollins MVP vote, but I don't think many of them have pointed out that he finished 21st in 2006 with very similar statistics.
And if Albert Pujols is alive and putting up these numbers: .429 OBP, .997 OPS and 8.3 WAR, he should be MVP every single time. But he can't beat me in RBI Baseball.
from MTD
to Derwood Morris
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 6:25 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
I think cigarettes are an important cog in the writing and attracting ladies process. I also enjoy a little vodka in my breakfast orange juice. There are some insane stat lines throughout the history of baseball but 2004 Bonds is as good as it gets. Agreed? Good. Let's move on.
from Derwood Morris
to MTD
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 8:20 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
I think it may be time for me to call those people again and have them bring the wagon over. They'll give you the jacket without the sleeves and the big orange pill with the dolphin on it. Everything is going to be OK.
from MTD
to Derwood Morris
date Tue, Jun 15, 2010 at 12:41 PM
subject The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
Sometimes, when I get sad, I go look at the stat line from the greatest season of all time. What Barry Bonds did in 2004 wasn't human. I don't care if he was eating babies and doing lines of coke off of a toilet. He hit 45 home runs and .362/.609/.812 for an OPS+ of 263. Getting on base at a 61% clip was aided by 262 walks (120 intentional), but he also only struck out 41 times. I think that sound you heard was Yuniesky Betancourt's head exploding. His 12.5 WAR is only 7th all time, but it's behind four Babe Ruth seasons and Mantle and Hornsby seasons. His OPS+ is second all time to his 2002 season but I think it's the OBP that puts 2004 over the top for me. What do you have? And you better not say something like the year Scott Brosius managed to put together a 121 OPS+ for the Yankees. *shakes fist*
from Derwood Morris
to MTD
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 1:30 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
You look at Bonds' '04 season when you get sad, I watch tapes of the 1998 World Series, or The Brosius Series, when I get sad. Yes, Barry Bonds in 2004 was very alien-like; the numbers are absolutely ridiculous (especially his +17 Eaten Babies, which led the NL), and I don't think a similar season is coming any time soon. Yet, in the spirit of this cheap wine-induced debate, I give you Babe Ruth's 1920 campaign as the greatest single season of all time.
Barry's walk total (262) and OBP (.609), completely absurd. I'm not going to touch those. But the other numbers are really close.
BA: Ruth, .376, Bonds, .362
SLUG: Ruth .847, Bonds, .812
OPS: Bonds, 1.421, Ruth, 1.379
OPS+: Bonds, 263, Ruth 255
HR: Ruth, 54, Bonds, 45
Pretty tight in those five categories, plus if you believe idiots, Bonds was a dope fiend who would hump a raccoon for a fix, while Ruth just ate hot dogs and drank beer. It was a clean era, man!
Except for the rampant gambling.
from MTD
to Derwood Morris
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 4:00 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
Whoa, those raccoon humping charges got dropped, sir. Plus we don't know what else the Babe was on in the 20s. Sure, he ate hot dogs and drank a lot of beer (we do that too and hit no home runs), but he could have easily been hopped up on, um, weed? People in the 20s thought cigarettes were good for you. In 10 years, everybody will be taking HGH. I'm hoping it will help heal the damage I'm doing to my liver. What were we talking about?
from Derwood Morris
to MTD
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 6:14 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
We were talking about raccoon humping, but I don't think we should be anymore. I once ate a hot dog, drank a beer and hit a home run, but I was playing RBI Baseball.
You know, people in the 2000s also think cigarettes are good for you. Those people are: me. Can we get into an MVP voting discussion please? I'll get it started with Jimmy Rollins in 2007. Apparently, it doesn't matter if your on base percentage is .344 and your OPS is .875, YOU can be National League MVP. Well, not you. Jimmy Rollins. Plenty of people have already attacked the Rollins MVP vote, but I don't think many of them have pointed out that he finished 21st in 2006 with very similar statistics.
And if Albert Pujols is alive and putting up these numbers: .429 OBP, .997 OPS and 8.3 WAR, he should be MVP every single time. But he can't beat me in RBI Baseball.
from MTD
to Derwood Morris
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 6:25 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
I think cigarettes are an important cog in the writing and attracting ladies process. I also enjoy a little vodka in my breakfast orange juice. There are some insane stat lines throughout the history of baseball but 2004 Bonds is as good as it gets. Agreed? Good. Let's move on.
from Derwood Morris
to MTD
date Wed, Jun 16, 2010 at 8:20 PM
subject Re: The Greatest Individual Season Of All Time
I think it may be time for me to call those people again and have them bring the wagon over. They'll give you the jacket without the sleeves and the big orange pill with the dolphin on it. Everything is going to be OK.
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