Friday, July 30, 2010

Wild And Careless Trade Speculation

In full disclosure, I have no inside information or contacts. Unless you count the left field security guard at Turner Field. Even then, Rodney can really only tell me what the bat boy schedule looks like. Since we're a general baseball blog, I also don't know your team's specific needs and minor league system as well as you do. But let's do some wild and careless trade speculation anyway.

Adam Dunn
The slugger finally gets dealt from the Nats to the White Sox for Edwin Jackson. I know this one isn't exactly wild or careless but I promise they're coming. I don't like Edwin as much as the Nats do but then again neither does anyone else but his parents. Dunn loves Washington for some reason and could be brought back in the offseason.

Cody Ross
While not available, he gets dealt to the Braves for a prospect package built around one of the Braves top 10 pitching prospect. I don't understand why teams are fawning over Ross and his 94 OPS+ but I guess he can play all 3 outfield spots. The Braves could use another outfielder after sending Nate McLouth to AAA for being as terrible as we all expected.

Carlos Zambrano
The Cubs trade their clinically insane former ace to the South Side where Kenny Williams doesn't mind bringing on bad contracts of formerly good pitchers. Zambrano is so bad though, the Cubs will still eat a good bit of the contract and receive only a broken pitching machine and a tarp that has several gaping holes in it.

Scott Downs
This one has also been rumored but seems wild. Toronto deals Downs to the Yankees for Joba Chamberlain. The Yanks would basically be replacing Joba's role with Downs. Toronto would be buying low again with Joba and maybe they could give him another turn at starting. They couldn't screw him up any worse than the Yankees did.

Mike Lowell
The Red Sox finally deal the oft-injured hitter to my backyard Wiffle Ball team. We were short on power and were convinced he could still play third. We end up being wrong and regret sending the 80 buffalo wings and gallon of daquiris to Boston.

Bobby Abreu, Hideki Matsui
The Angels send the pair to the Yankees for old time's sake. After the Yanks acquired Lance Berman, they decide to go get all of the remaining old players who can't play the outfield anymore. In exchange, the Angels receive a ball signed by Mickey Mantle and George Costanza.

Prince Fielder
The Brewers trade the massive slugger to the Angels for all of their minor league pitchers who weren't drafted over the past two years. The Angels swoop in out of nowhere again and pay the big fella arbitration next season while he DH's and Morales comes back to play first base. The Angels forgo signing Fielder to an extension after he rediscovers his love of meat and leaves a wake of destruction at every In-N-Out Burger in Southern California.

Wilson Betemit, Andy Marte
Are not only traded for each other but are then immediately traded back for each other. Derwood writes 2,000 words about it.

Ted Lilly
Despite being bankrupt and not allowed to add any payroll, the Rangers swing yet another deal to add Lilly to their rotation. Then sign him to a massive extension. I never know what they're doing down there.

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