Sunday, June 13, 2010

Mark Reynolds' Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

This is an exciting, special edition of my Golden Sombrero segment. In case you missed it, I reference Mark Reynolds in the description of this post. Mark has missed a few balls the past couple of years. He led the National League in strikeouts in 2008 (204) and 2009 (impressive 223). He's kind of my hero. Tonight was Mark's first Golden Sombrero since we opened this site around a week ago. Shocking, I know.

In honor of this special, frequent occasion, I took four shots of Tres Generationes tequila and hired this donkey wearing a sombrero.

The donkey and I finished the bottle of tequila and are going to pick up some broads after I finish this post. So let's get to it.

Bottom 3rd: Reynolds struck out swinging against Chris Carpenter. Nothing to see here, move along.

Bottom 5th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Carpenter. He swung and missed at three straight. I try to purchase a Mark Reynolds Fathead of him striking out.

Bottom 7th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Dennys Reyes. Mmmm, Dennys.

Bottom 9th: Reynolds struck out swinging against Kyle McClellan. Reynolds was trying to air condition the Diamondbacks stadium all by himself. Who's looking out for ya?

Thank you, Mark Reynolds. I erected a Mark Reynolds statue out of mash potatoes but my drunk donkey ate it. Speaking of which, we're going to find some ladies. I'll post something tomorrow after I post bail.

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