Monday, October 22, 2012

Happy Birthday Mike Hllywa

Newest Off Base Percentage staff writer Mike Hllywa turns an appropriate looking age today and we'd like to take a moment to celebrate. Sure, that's why there's vodka in our orange juice this morning. I discovered the young Hllywa on Twitter and developed him into the fine writer before you today. Is how I'm going to tell it if he makes it big time before begging him for a job.

Hllywa is a devoted Angels fan and husband. For now. I've seen how much time he spends on Twitter. Sorry, Mrs. Hllywa. You can read Mike's Angels thoughts over at Halo Hangout and, of course, the quality nonsense here. Follow him on Twitter @mike_hllywa to help us convince Tom advanced metrics aren't hocus pocus or some other phrase from yesteryear.

I tried to get Mike's mancrushes Nick Morande and Kaleb Cowart to pillow fight for his birthday but only managed to score more restraining orders. So, your Fudgie the Whale is in the mail.

Mike shares his birthday with Robinson Cano, Ichiro and Jimmie Foxx. Also, the underrated Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show, Saul Goodman), Jeff Goldblum and Christopher Lloyd. Points are deducted for Carlos Mencia. Overall, a pretty good birthday, um, day. I share my birthday with Vince DiMaggio and Swoosie Kurtz.

Anyway, happy birthday, bud.

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