Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Rays Invade Boston Disguised In Wigs

The Tampa Bay Rays are three games out of Oakland's Wild Card spot with nine games to go and the Angels sitting only two games behind the A's. While technically the Rays still have a chance, the shots are long. Let's call it a 10.5% chance because Cool Standings is awesome. The Rays go to Boston for a three game set where the Red Sox have a 0.0% chance to make the playoffs and are playing just to spite other teams.

Joe Maddon, the unorthodox and crafty manager, decided to sneak his team into enemy territory incognito. Donned in wigs from "bathtub meth addict" to "Wendy's red pigtails" to my favorite "Santa out of context," the Rays hair'd up and were encouraged to be as creative as possible. Any real wigs (from players or employees I assume, the wording is vague) will be donated to the Moffitt Cancer Center.

It's a good cause, sure, but I'm sure this is some kind of mastermind team-building/lulling-the-Sox-into-a-false-sense-of-security plan from that evil genius Joe Maddon. That's why he is the best in the game. Maddon thinks outside of the box and, occasionally, makes forts out of the boxes. He seems fun.

Let's take a look at a few of the looks from the Tampa Bay Rays/Skip Milos via Tampa Bay Times...

Elliot Johnson did his best Joe Dirt or "I need an extra $2 to buy this case of Pabst Blue Ribbon." Red Sox pitchers will be caught off guard because he looks more likely to make a bong out of the bat than hit .243/.305/.351. That bit would have worked better if Johnson was actually good at baseball.

This one is either Sean Rodriguez or the guy who sells drugs out of every kitchen in the French Quarter.

Finally, Matt Joyce chose the Wendy's red pigtails causing me to nickname him Matt "Always Fresh" Joyce because Matt "Where's the Beef" Joyce doesn't sound family friendly.

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