Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Noah, Sale, God All Call In Sick For 2020 Season

Tommy  John Surgery sucks. Not that I have partaken in it, but it has caused me pain and anguish over the last 10 years, so I feel it is fair to ask for restitution.

This year is different though.

This year, we are going through enough.

Last month, it was reported that Luis Severino was going to need TJS. Six days ago, it was Chris Sale ‘s turn to get the bad news. Yesterday, word came through the wire that Noah Syndergaard is now being turned over to Dr. Andrew for TJS. The full list of players who either have or will go under the knife for UCL surgery can be found here.

It’s not so much that the list is long, it is that we are going through enough already. Baseball likely won’t resume until June - if at all this year - and with restrictions being placed on elective surgeries due to COVID-19, most of the recent candidates will have to wait months for before they can have their elective surgeries. Meaning that not only would they be out for this season, but for next season as well given the 12-15 month timeline for recovery.

Somehow I feel like this is all the Astros fault, or God simply decided to call in sick because he’s had enough of everyone’s shit.

Someone needs to find the rest of the top of the line pitchers right now, wrap them in bubble wrap and lock them in a storage container to keep them from getting hurt. If I am looking at a best case scenario of only getting five months of baseball this season, I would like to see the best players healthy, damnit, and I don’t think that that is too much to ask.

At the current rate, competitive Cornhole and Shuffleboard are going to be the hot ticket sports to watch in 2020, with Curling coming in hot right behind them. I am going to start taking bets on the feral cat fights in my neighborhood, good odds on the black one that brought me a crow one time as a peace offering.

I’m going to go take a Lysol bath and curl up with some toilet paper. It really is the only way that I will feel better.

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