Thursday, March 26, 2020

Mike Trout Is Better At Social Distancing Than You

It's been a while since I've had the chance to remind everybody that Mike Trout is the best. Except for my wife, she hears it everyday. It turns into a whole "why don't you just marry him then" conversation ending with me asking about who gets the baseball memorabilia in the divorce while working on my proposal to Mike. It has to be special to get him away from his wife and looming Trout baby. And may their first child be a masculine child. Maybe something romantic like proposing on the jumbo tron at an Eagles game.

Okay, that got away from me, just, right off the bat. My point was that Trout is the best. We knew that about the baseball side of things. But this guy even crushes social distancing while still being nice to, get this, strangers.

Point in case




Trout is out there shopping for the right combination of super foods* that make him a mythical creature and is still willing to take selfies with fans. Just six feet away so it looks like an awkward photo bomb. Still, he was not only happy to do it but followed with a tweet of his own to be safe. Did he steal all of the toilet paper out of her cart while she was texting her friend? I'd prefer to think not.

*The super foods to make you Mike Trout do NOT include the five pound bag of sour patch kids and the picante flavored corn nuts. But my research continues on...

Now we know Mike is out there not shaking hands and eating healthy. Is he staying fit?




Of course he is. And he's getting Albert Pujols out of the house. Which is important for older guys. Watching Price is Right everyday will ruin you.


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