Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Derwood Morris Semi-Baseball-Related Bucket List

This list isn't all baseball, but to the Offbase fraternity of readers/hobos, it hardly matters.

Presenting the Derwood Morris bucket list.

1. Meet one person who has ordered oatmeal at McDonalds
2. High dive into a pool of soy sauce
3. Bring Mariano Rivera from the bullpen to the mound in a Yankees wheelbarrow™, sit in the wheelbarrow behind the mound for the ninth inning
4. Meet a woman named Mildred
5. Purchase a minor league baseball team and re-name it the Flying Derwoods
6. Co-star as Stiles Stalinski in Teen Wolf 3
7. Live in a hockey goal for one day
8. Meet a man named Mildred
9. Convince a stranger that we attended the same elementary school
10. Go for a swim while wearing an overcoat and jeans
11. Fit an entire head of lettuce in my mouth

1 comment:

  1. Accomplish number 12 please!! :D You forgot one thing though: Swim in a pool of Ruffles.