Thursday, September 16, 2010

Capt'n Jetes' Oscar Performance

During the final game of the Yankees and Rays meaningless battle for first place, Derek Jeter busted out his acting chops. It was quite the impressive performance too. I'm thinking about casting him in my short film Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly on Vacation. It's less of an artsy project and more of something I'm working on for TMZ. He's also pretty crucial to the project. I digress.

Chad Qualls threw an inside pitch to the .262/.330/.368 hitting "short stop" that, upon further review, hit bottom of the bat. Jeter grabbed his elbow and cried out in pain. The acting was so convincing that I assume Derek Jeter lived in Qualls basement in the offseason and watched him hit batters in the elbow while studying their reaction all winter long. It was good enough for home plate umpire to award Jeter first base after a conference and a bag of popcorn. Yankee trainer Gene Monahan even came out to check on Jeter in hopes of landing a best supporting actor nom.

Curtis Granderson followed with a 2-run home run to put the Yankees up momentarily. The Rays would eventually win the game riding Dan Johnson's one game power surge and pair of home runs. Afterward, Jeter seemed proud of the acting even though I'm disappointed he didn't give any credit to the numerous actresses he's dated. From the AP...
Jeter, who stood doubled over while receiving attention from a trainer, confessed that the ball hit the end of his bat and he sold the call to Barksdale with a good acting job.

"He told me to go to first base. I'm not going to tell him I'm not going to first, you know," Jeter said.

"It's part of the game. My job is to get on base. Fortunately for us it paid off at the time, but I'm sure it would have been a bigger story if we would have won that game."
Indeed, Derek, indeed. He has to be a lock for the Entourage movie, right?

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