Analysis

Scene: Monday night at Yankee Stadium, Raul Ibanez has just given the Yankees a 6-2 lead over Toronto with a go-ahead grand slam in the eighth.

Paul O'Neill of the YES Network, you're up:

"That's kind of a game-changer right there."


** UPDATE **

O'Neill had quite a series. Here he is after Mark Teixeira's first-inning home run in Wednesday's finale against the Bluejays:

"I tell you what, I've never seen a series where mistakes...are home runs."

Your 2012 All Star Payrolls

All Star teams would be expensive, you know, if the leagues actually had to pay them. Thanks to my intern, who I pay in gas station peanut packs, and his spreadsheet skills, I have the financial details for each squad set to participate in Tuesday's exhibition (but not really) game.

There were surprisingly few substitutions this year. Even Derek Jeter is going to play instead of globetrotting with beautiful actresses of whatever he does. So, it is more of an All Star Game instead of having everybody in baseball getting an invite. You can check out last year's payroll here and 2010's here...

American League All Stars	National League All Stars
Starters:	Starters:
C Mike Napoli, TEX - $9,400,000	C Buster Posey, SF - $615,000
1B Prince Fielder, DET - $23,000,000	1B Joey Votto, CIN - $9,500,000
2B Robinson Cano, NYY - $14,000,000	2B Dan Uggla, ATL - $13,000,000
3B Adrian Beltre, TEX - $15,000,000	3B Pablo Sandoval, SF - $3,200,000
SS Derek Jeter, NYY - $16,000,000	SS Rafael Furcal, STL - $6,000,000
OF Curtis Granderson, NYY - $10,000,000	OF Ryan Braun, MIL - $6,000,000
OF Josh Hamilton, TEX - $13,750,00	OF Melky Cabrera, SF $6,000,000
OF Jose Bautista, TOR - $14,000,000	OF Carlos Beltran, STL - $13,000,000
DH David Ortiz, BOS - $14,575,000	DH Carlos Gonzalez, COL - $5,000,000
Pitchers:	Pitchers:
Jake Peavy, CWS - $17,000,000	Clayton Kershaw, LAD - $7,500,000
Chris Perez, CLE - $4,500,000	Cole Hamels, PHI - $15,000,000
Chris Sale, CWS - $500,000	Craig Kimbrel, ATL - $590,000
David Price, TB - $4,350,000	Gio Gonzalez, WAS - $3,250,000
Felix Hernandez, SEA - $18,500,000	Huston Street, SD - $7,500,000
Fernando Rodney, SEA - $1,750,000	Joel Hanrahan, PIT - $4,100,000
Jered Weaver, LAA - $14,000,000	Jonathan Papelbon, PHI - $11,000,000
Jim Johnson, BAL - $2,625,000	Lance Lynn, STL - $482,000
Joe Nathan, TEX - $7,000,000	Matt Cain, SF - $15,000,000
Justin Verlander, DET - $20,000,000	R.A. Dickey, NYM - $4,200,000
Matt Harrison, TEX - $2,950,000	Stephen Strasburg, WAS - $3,000,000
Ryan Cook, OAK - $480,000	Wade Miley, ARI - $481,000
Yu Darvish, TEX - $5,500,000	Aroldis Chapman, CIN - $2,000,000
Reserves:	Reserves:
C Matt Wieters, BAL - $500,000	C Carlos Ruiz, PHI - $3,700,000
C Joe Mauer, MIN - $23,000,000	1B Bryan Lahair, CHI - $482,500
1B Paul Konerko, CWS - $12,000,000	2B Jose Altuve, HOU - $483,000
2B Ian Kinsler, TEX - $7,000,000	3B Chipper Jones, ATL - $13,000,000
3B Miguel Cabrera, DET - $21,000,000	3B David Wright, NYM - $15,000,000
SS Asdrubal Cabrera, CLE - $4,550,000	3B David Freese, STL - $508,000
SS Elvis Andrus, TEX - $2,375,000	SS Starlin Castro, CHI - $567,000
OF Adam Jones, BAL - $6,150,000	OF Michael Bourn, ATL - $6,845,000
OF MIKE TROUT, LAA - $414,000	OF Jay Bruce, CIN - $5,000,000
OF Mark Trumbo, LAA - $500,000	OF Andrew McCutchen, PIT - $500,000
DH Adam Dunn, CWS - $14,000,000	OF Matt Holliday, STL - $17,000,000
DH Billy Butler, KC - $8,000,000	OF Bryce Harper, WAS - $500,000

And here's the breakdown. Good grief, American League. That's without Albert Pujols and Vernon Wells too. By the way, I hope Vernon Wells is donating a metric crapton of cash to charity every year. For the tax break.

AL Total	NL Total
$382,369,000	$200,053,500
AL Average	NL Average
$10,110,649	$6,055,748
AL Starters	NL Starters
$129,725,000	$62,315,000
AL Starters AVG	NL Starters AVG
$14,413,889	$7,164,375
AL Pitchers	NL Pitchers
$99,155,000	$74,153,000
AL Pitchers AVG	NL Pitchers AVG
$7,627,308	$5,704,077
AL Reserves	NL Reserves
$99,489,000	$63,585,500
AL Reserves AVG	NL Reserves AVG
$8,290,750	$5,298,792

If the AL could have just squeezed a few more Yankees and Rangers into the starting lineup, that could be a billion dollar nine. Both leagues get a break however. The AL MVP, Mike Trout, isn't even making half a million. I don't know how a 20-year-old even lives in California without a million dollars. I'm basing that on The O.C. episodes I've seen. Harper, of course, got a nice signing bonus but he's going to sign a freakish contract one day with Scott Boras repping him.

The Pirates' $51,932,333 payroll is roughly $10 million less than the NL's starting hitters. Or one Curtis Granderson is baseball speak.

What do I learn from this every year? Baseball players need to send money to my paypal account. I am woefully underpaid with the threes of dollars I make off of this site every month.

Happy 4th America And Vinny Castilla

[They ate 147 snausages in 7 minutes]

Joey Chestnut ate 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win another championship in an American classic. That's just the perfect way to celebrate the United States Independence Day. Over-zealous eating. Frankly, I'm surprised those competitive eaters aren't dunking their hot dog buns in bacon fat yet. But it's kinda, sorta 'Merica's brithday so we should breakout some Carvel Ice Cream cake and sprinkle it with hamburgers and beer. I'm worried about your health.

But before you blow your eyebrows off with a Roman Candle, let's celebrate some of baseball's Fourth of July birthdays...

Sergio Santos, 1983, Los Angeles, CA.
What seemed like a steal for the Blue Jays in a trade with the White Sox, Santos injured that thing used for throwing a ball and has missed much of the season.

I gave him
Another set back, I'm terrible at gift giving and wrapping. Lots of papercuts.


Amauri Sanit, 1979, La Habana, Cuba.
He pitched 7 innings for the Yankees in 2011 and gave up 10 earned runs on 12 hits and 3 walks.

I gave him
A new birth certificate that named him Ami Sant and made him 22-years-old. If that doesn't work out, free raft ride to the destination of his choosing.

Brendan Donnelly, 1971, Washington, DC.
Part of the unhitable Angels bullpen that won the World Series in 2002.

I gave him
My authentic J.T. Snow California Angels jersey to try to get it signed and sent back to me.

Vinny Castilla, 1967, Oaxaca, Mexico
He hit 191 home runs and .302/.348/.545 playing for Colorado between 1995 and 1999.

I gave him
A reverse humidor for all of those away games.


José Oquendo, 1963, Rio Piedras, PR.
The comedy twins/duo/sportsfans, Sklar brothers, lobbied for Oquendo's induction into the Hall of Fame. It's not going well.

I gave him
A Cooperstown t-shirt. Not a Hall of Fame t-shirt, just a Cooperstown t-shirt. It's not his size, either. Lots of disappointment.

Dan Larson, 1954, Los Angeles, CA.
Not the guy who threw a perfect game in the 1956 World Series. Which would have been extremely impressive for a two-year-old.

I gave him
The name Don Larsen.

There are plenty more including names like: Dot Fulghum, Stump Edington, Milt Reed, Duke Kenworthy, Pinky Swander and Chief Roseman.

So happy Fourth, everybody, and enjoy that cheeseburger stuffed porterhouse. I'm sure Obamacare will cover that heart attack.

Indians Add Vinny To Ever-Growing List Of Vinny(ies)

The Cleveland Indians may be going through a tough stretch-they were swept by the Yankees and have lost five consecutive games-but that's not going to stop the second place team in the AL Central from making history.

Cleveland claimed former Mets' utility infielder Vinny Rottino off waivers, and with relief pitcher Vinnie Pestano already on the roster, the Tribe lead the majors in total Vinnies/Vinnys.

Let's see how Indians' fans are handling the news:

"It's almost too much Vinnie for one man to handle," said longtime Indians season ticket holder Mort Lyons. "I feel like if I don't sit down and have a cool drink of water, read a little bit from The Book of Vinnie, I may Vinnie all over the place."

"Talk to me when they get a Vito," said Vito Migliaccio.

"I told you I did not want to be interviewed," said Jenn Sanderson.


The staff at Offbase looks out for its readers; we know where our Vinnie is buttered. Here's a breakdown of active Vinnies/Vinnys:

1. Rottino. Had a .182/.308/.394 slash line with New York before being designated for assignment. The Racine, Wisconsin native's full name is Vincent Antonio Rottino, but if he had been born in Yonkers, New York, he would've been No. 93 on the depth chart amongst Vincent Antonio Rottinos.

2. Pestano. In 2011 led all Vinnies in strike outs with 84.

3. Vin Mazzaro, Kansas City RHP. May 16, 2011: appeared in same game as Pestano (tying the single-game record for Vins/Vinnies appearances) and allowed 14 earned runs in 2 1/3 innings pitched.

4. Vicente Padilla, Boston RHP. 'Vicente' is Nicaraguan for 'Vinnie'.


Active until recently:

Vinnie Chulk, Milwaukee RHP. After not pitching in the majors in 2010 or 2011, appeared in seven games for the Brewers in April and May (10.00 ERA) before a demotion to the minors May 21. Recently appeared in the hit play Too Many Vinnies.

Matt Kemp Is A Jerkface

I hate throwing around harsh language. I'm both a gentleman and a scholar (according to my mom) so only on the rare occasion would I stoop to calling someone that word. But Matt Kemp is , earmuffs kids, a jerkface. I said it. But why? Kemp, the NL Home Run Derby captain, will not pick Bryce Harper to participate in the event he was born to win...

"It's not because he's a rookie. It's just that there are other guys out there that are capable,'' Kemp told the newspaper. "I'm not saying he wouldn't do a good job in the Home Run Derby. He's going to have plenty of time to participate in many Home Run Derbies. Just not this year. Nothing against him. I love watching him play.''

I mean, really, who wants to see Harper in the Home Run Derby anyway? Oh, everybody who's heard of baseball? Okay, put your hands down.

Sure, Harper only has seven homers in 224 plate appearances (as a 19-year-old). And his 13.3 home run to fly ball ratio is behind Will Venable and Michael Saunders. But having Harper in the HRD is good for the sport and fans even if he doesn't make the All Star Game, which I believe he should. The hype, the ratings, the money... I'll be surprised if Bud Selig doesn't intervene and Harper magically winds up in the HRD.

Somebody close to Kemp should tell him to do the right thing and pick Harper. Does anyone have Rihanna's number? Those last two sentences are actually, completely unrelated.

Yasel Puig Moves To Mexico

[Head shot for Yasel Puig used by ESPN]

Cuban defector and supposed baseball player, Yasel Puig, has established residency in Mexico. That sounds like one zany rafting adventure. Puig has his papers filed with MLB and the process in believed to be complete for his free agency quest. After fellow Cubans, Yoenis Cespedes and Jorge Soler, signed multi-year $30+ million deals, Puig is looking to get paid by July 2nd before the new CBA crushes his American dream of owning a backyard full of jungle cats (it's the Mike Tyson way).

The 21-year-old Puig is somewhere between the development of MLB ready Cespedes and Single-A appropriate Soler. I don't know what that means for his contract hopes but, damn, Cubans have cool sounding names.

I say Yoenis Cespedes three or four times a day in normal conversations. While I have no clue how Yasel Puig is pronounced, I'm going with how the gypos said "dog" in Snatch. Yasel Pige.

I don't necessarily care where Puig signs or how his name is actually pronounced, I just want more Cuban defectors in MLB.

Can Kevin Youkilis Survive Deep Dish Pizza?

By now, you've heard all about former Red Sock third bagger, Greek god of walks, bald guy, Kevin Youkilis, having a falling out with Boston and getting shipped to the lighter colored socks franchise for some stuff. While there were rumors about Youk's health and relationship with new Boston manager, Bobby Valentine (possibly a crazy person), the Boston faithful gave him a proper curtain call.

There are plenty of sports media sites than analyzed the trade and wondered if the Sawx got enough in return or graded the outcome. Well, I'm not that kind of blog. We care about the important things. Will Youkilis enjoy playing in a deep dish pizza city?

The man has that certain physique that says "I'll stab you for that last slice" and playing against the Yankees frequently must have led to several post game pizza parties. After years of New York style pizza, can Youk adjust to a pie that looks more like a cake?



More importantly, did White Sox GM Kenny Williams even consider if Youkilis' body would reject deep dish pizza before making the trade? I can't be sure as the White Sox organization has blocked several of my email accounts after I wanted to know what kind of hot dogs Adam Dunn was eating last year.

But we will find out soon enough. Maybe Youkilis prefers deep dish pizza and has a monster second half of the season. Maybe too much dough kills him. This is obviously a better question for projection type people like the Fangraphs staff. Who have also blocked most of my email accounts.

My guess is the increase in carbs will likely make a slow runner into a jogger. It's a slippery slope from there that often results in a daytime talk show host having a wall removed from your house to rescue you. Deep dish pizza can ruin lives.

I'm rooting for Youk. And he might need it. His mental state is still a little fragile after his first game after the trade...

"I know where I'm at," Youkilis said. "I'll go to the hotel room, wake up, put clothes on, and not worry about packing clothes and all that other stuff."

Sounds like the man on the verge of a pizza binge if you ask me.

David Ortiz Calls Boston A Sh*thole

Sam Malone isn't going to be happy about this. Neither is Tawmmy. David Ortiz is having a monster season at the plate. If the 18 home runs and .313/.397/.614 line don't do it for you, his .417 wOBA is ninth in baseball (Mike Trout's .410 is 11th). At 35-33, the Red Sox are six games out of the East and three games out of the Wild Card.

But Boston fans will have something other than being in fourth place to be outraged over after Big Papi dropped the "s" word all over WEEI. For once, he wasn't talking about s'mores. Ortiz said playing in Boston is becoming the shithole it used to be. I can't wait to see PR people try to spin this fantastic rant...

“I don’t know, man, I’m just tired of dealing with the drama here. This is baseball, man. It seems like everything that goes on around here is like one of those congress decisions that will affect the whole nation. It ain’t like that, man, this is baseball. We’re supposed to have fun, to have our performance out there at the highest level. every day is something new, some drama, some more shit. I’m tired of that, man. I’m here to play baseball, man.”

snip

"It's starting to become the [expletive]hole it used to be," Ortiz said. "Playing here used to be so much fun."

Yeah, this is a kid's game. The media needs to stop getting so worked up over baseball. *cough* DAVID ORTIZ HATES BOSTON *cough* KATE UPTON NAKED *cough* pageviews *cough*

Okay, so maybe he's venting about the media and this will all be taken out of context. He should have just blamed Buster Olney for calling the clubhouse environment "toxic" or shoved Bobby Valentine into traffic. Ortiz knows the Boston Red Sox hype is over-the-top, why incite a riot?

Not that it matters to me, I love a good shitstorm. And Ortiz has stirred one up for us. Manny Ramirez must be so proud.