Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4th America And Vinny Castilla

[They ate 147 snausages in 7 minutes]

Joey Chestnut ate 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win another championship in an American classic. That's just the perfect way to celebrate the United States Independence Day. Over-zealous eating. Frankly, I'm surprised those competitive eaters aren't dunking their hot dog buns in bacon fat yet. But it's kinda, sorta 'Merica's brithday so we should breakout some Carvel Ice Cream cake and sprinkle it with hamburgers and beer. I'm worried about your health.

But before you blow your eyebrows off with a Roman Candle, let's celebrate some of baseball's Fourth of July birthdays...

Sergio Santos, 1983, Los Angeles, CA.
What seemed like a steal for the Blue Jays in a trade with the White Sox, Santos injured that thing used for throwing a ball and has missed much of the season.

I gave him
Another set back, I'm terrible at gift giving and wrapping. Lots of papercuts.

Amauri Sanit, 1979, La Habana, Cuba.
He pitched 7 innings for the Yankees in 2011 and gave up 10 earned runs on 12 hits and 3 walks.

I gave him
A new birth certificate that named him Ami Sant and made him 22-years-old. If that doesn't work out, free raft ride to the destination of his choosing.

Brendan Donnelly, 1971, Washington, DC.
Part of the unhitable Angels bullpen that won the World Series in 2002.

I gave him
My authentic J.T. Snow California Angels jersey to try to get it signed and sent back to me.

Vinny Castilla, 1967, Oaxaca, Mexico
He hit 191 home runs and .302/.348/.545 playing for Colorado between 1995 and 1999.

I gave him
A reverse humidor for all of those away games.

José Oquendo, 1963, Rio Piedras, PR.
The comedy twins/duo/sportsfans, Sklar brothers, lobbied for Oquendo's induction into the Hall of Fame. It's not going well.

I gave him
A Cooperstown t-shirt. Not a Hall of Fame t-shirt, just a Cooperstown t-shirt. It's not his size, either. Lots of disappointment.

Dan Larson, 1954, Los Angeles, CA.
Not the guy who threw a perfect game in the 1956 World Series. Which would have been extremely impressive for a two-year-old.

I gave him
The name Don Larsen.

There are plenty more including names like: Dot Fulghum, Stump Edington, Milt Reed, Duke Kenworthy, Pinky Swander and Chief Roseman.

So happy Fourth, everybody, and enjoy that cheeseburger stuffed porterhouse. I'm sure Obamacare will cover that heart attack.

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