Thursday, October 14, 2010

Golden Sombrero Of The Year Award

It's just about award season and we've created some of our own. I poured through box scores for much of the season (we were born on 5/30/2010) to bring you some of the finest swinging and missing baseball had to offer. And boy, were there a ton of Golden Sombreros. You can see the list I compiled here. I seemed to lose a little steam writing them up there at the end, mainly because I ran out of pinata blooper videos.

I mentioned Mark Reynolds and Ryan Howard in the intro to every Sombrero post I wrote because, well, they're my poster children for strikeouts. And they didn't disappoint. It was a close race but there can be only one Highlander. After I collected all of the ballots (I was the only one that had one) and crunched some numbers (took a nap), I have the winner. Ladies and gentleman, your 2010 Golden Sombrero of the Year Award goes to Mark Reynolds. *thunderous ovation of missed claps* Here's the official ballot in case you were afraid of any shenanigans.

1. Mark Reynolds
Reynolds led all of baseball in strikeouts for the third straight year. He's also gone over 200 strikeouts in each of the last three seasons. And he set a personal best, striking out 42.3% of the time. He notched four Golden Sombreros and had the decency to wait for me to start this blog before he struck out four times in one game. And for that, I'm bringing back the drunk donkey.

After I finish this post, the donkey and I are splitting a box of wine and going cruising for ladies. Look out women of Baton Rouge, you're on notice.

Congratulations, Mark. Email me your address and shirt size and I'll get your prize in the mail.

2. Ryan Howard
Howard missed some time so he only finished 11th in all of baseball with 157 strikeouts. He did still manage two Golden Sombreos to go along with his August 24th Platinum Sombrero. While Reynolds is the king, my money is on Howard to give me that damn elusive Titanium Sombrero. It might happen if the Phils meet the Rangers in the World Series and Cliff Lee pitches 14 innings. A boy can dream, can't he? By boy, I mean grown man sitting in a basement with way too much Cheeto dust on him.

Sorry Ryan, there is no free t-shirt for second place or a donkey in a sombrero. You'll have to settle with a goat.

Thanks Holy Taco, I'll be stealing from you all next season.

3. Pedro Alvarez
Another rookie beats out Jason Heyward on one of my ballots. Heyward and Alvarez both finished with three Sombreros and, although one of Heyward's was a Platinum, I wasn't writing here when Jason picked up his first GS on April 9th. Therefore, it doesn't count. Plus Alvarez racked up the four strikeout games at a more rapid pace when he finally got the call. All right Pedro, you deserve something. Hey look, a cat in a sombrero!

That should just about wrap up our coverage of Golden Sombreros for the year. Better luck next year to you crazy free swingers but as long as Mark Reynolds is still getting plate appearances, well, you're just playing for second.

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