Indians Add Vinny To Ever-Growing List Of Vinny(ies)

The Cleveland Indians may be going through a tough stretch-they were swept by the Yankees and have lost five consecutive games-but that's not going to stop the second place team in the AL Central from making history.

Cleveland claimed former Mets' utility infielder Vinny Rottino off waivers, and with relief pitcher Vinnie Pestano already on the roster, the Tribe lead the majors in total Vinnies/Vinnys.

Let's see how Indians' fans are handling the news:

"It's almost too much Vinnie for one man to handle," said longtime Indians season ticket holder Mort Lyons. "I feel like if I don't sit down and have a cool drink of water, read a little bit from The Book of Vinnie, I may Vinnie all over the place."

"Talk to me when they get a Vito," said Vito Migliaccio.

"I told you I did not want to be interviewed," said Jenn Sanderson.


The staff at Offbase looks out for its readers; we know where our Vinnie is buttered. Here's a breakdown of active Vinnies/Vinnys:

1. Rottino. Had a .182/.308/.394 slash line with New York before being designated for assignment. The Racine, Wisconsin native's full name is Vincent Antonio Rottino, but if he had been born in Yonkers, New York, he would've been No. 93 on the depth chart amongst Vincent Antonio Rottinos.

2. Pestano. In 2011 led all Vinnies in strike outs with 84.

3. Vin Mazzaro, Kansas City RHP. May 16, 2011: appeared in same game as Pestano (tying the single-game record for Vins/Vinnies appearances) and allowed 14 earned runs in 2 1/3 innings pitched.

4. Vicente Padilla, Boston RHP. 'Vicente' is Nicaraguan for 'Vinnie'.


Active until recently:

Vinnie Chulk, Milwaukee RHP. After not pitching in the majors in 2010 or 2011, appeared in seven games for the Brewers in April and May (10.00 ERA) before a demotion to the minors May 21. Recently appeared in the hit play Too Many Vinnies.

Matt Kemp Is A Jerkface

I hate throwing around harsh language. I'm both a gentleman and a scholar (according to my mom) so only on the rare occasion would I stoop to calling someone that word. But Matt Kemp is , earmuffs kids, a jerkface. I said it. But why? Kemp, the NL Home Run Derby captain, will not pick Bryce Harper to participate in the event he was born to win...

"It's not because he's a rookie. It's just that there are other guys out there that are capable,'' Kemp told the newspaper. "I'm not saying he wouldn't do a good job in the Home Run Derby. He's going to have plenty of time to participate in many Home Run Derbies. Just not this year. Nothing against him. I love watching him play.''

I mean, really, who wants to see Harper in the Home Run Derby anyway? Oh, everybody who's heard of baseball? Okay, put your hands down.

Sure, Harper only has seven homers in 224 plate appearances (as a 19-year-old). And his 13.3 home run to fly ball ratio is behind Will Venable and Michael Saunders. But having Harper in the HRD is good for the sport and fans even if he doesn't make the All Star Game, which I believe he should. The hype, the ratings, the money... I'll be surprised if Bud Selig doesn't intervene and Harper magically winds up in the HRD.

Somebody close to Kemp should tell him to do the right thing and pick Harper. Does anyone have Rihanna's number? Those last two sentences are actually, completely unrelated.

Yasel Puig Moves To Mexico

[Head shot for Yasel Puig used by ESPN]

Cuban defector and supposed baseball player, Yasel Puig, has established residency in Mexico. That sounds like one zany rafting adventure. Puig has his papers filed with MLB and the process in believed to be complete for his free agency quest. After fellow Cubans, Yoenis Cespedes and Jorge Soler, signed multi-year $30+ million deals, Puig is looking to get paid by July 2nd before the new CBA crushes his American dream of owning a backyard full of jungle cats (it's the Mike Tyson way).

The 21-year-old Puig is somewhere between the development of MLB ready Cespedes and Single-A appropriate Soler. I don't know what that means for his contract hopes but, damn, Cubans have cool sounding names.

I say Yoenis Cespedes three or four times a day in normal conversations. While I have no clue how Yasel Puig is pronounced, I'm going with how the gypos said "dog" in Snatch. Yasel Pige.

I don't necessarily care where Puig signs or how his name is actually pronounced, I just want more Cuban defectors in MLB.

Can Kevin Youkilis Survive Deep Dish Pizza?

By now, you've heard all about former Red Sock third bagger, Greek god of walks, bald guy, Kevin Youkilis, having a falling out with Boston and getting shipped to the lighter colored socks franchise for some stuff. While there were rumors about Youk's health and relationship with new Boston manager, Bobby Valentine (possibly a crazy person), the Boston faithful gave him a proper curtain call.

There are plenty of sports media sites than analyzed the trade and wondered if the Sawx got enough in return or graded the outcome. Well, I'm not that kind of blog. We care about the important things. Will Youkilis enjoy playing in a deep dish pizza city?

The man has that certain physique that says "I'll stab you for that last slice" and playing against the Yankees frequently must have led to several post game pizza parties. After years of New York style pizza, can Youk adjust to a pie that looks more like a cake?



More importantly, did White Sox GM Kenny Williams even consider if Youkilis' body would reject deep dish pizza before making the trade? I can't be sure as the White Sox organization has blocked several of my email accounts after I wanted to know what kind of hot dogs Adam Dunn was eating last year.

But we will find out soon enough. Maybe Youkilis prefers deep dish pizza and has a monster second half of the season. Maybe too much dough kills him. This is obviously a better question for projection type people like the Fangraphs staff. Who have also blocked most of my email accounts.

My guess is the increase in carbs will likely make a slow runner into a jogger. It's a slippery slope from there that often results in a daytime talk show host having a wall removed from your house to rescue you. Deep dish pizza can ruin lives.

I'm rooting for Youk. And he might need it. His mental state is still a little fragile after his first game after the trade...

"I know where I'm at," Youkilis said. "I'll go to the hotel room, wake up, put clothes on, and not worry about packing clothes and all that other stuff."

Sounds like the man on the verge of a pizza binge if you ask me.

David Ortiz Calls Boston A Sh*thole

Sam Malone isn't going to be happy about this. Neither is Tawmmy. David Ortiz is having a monster season at the plate. If the 18 home runs and .313/.397/.614 line don't do it for you, his .417 wOBA is ninth in baseball (Mike Trout's .410 is 11th). At 35-33, the Red Sox are six games out of the East and three games out of the Wild Card.

But Boston fans will have something other than being in fourth place to be outraged over after Big Papi dropped the "s" word all over WEEI. For once, he wasn't talking about s'mores. Ortiz said playing in Boston is becoming the shithole it used to be. I can't wait to see PR people try to spin this fantastic rant...

“I don’t know, man, I’m just tired of dealing with the drama here. This is baseball, man. It seems like everything that goes on around here is like one of those congress decisions that will affect the whole nation. It ain’t like that, man, this is baseball. We’re supposed to have fun, to have our performance out there at the highest level. every day is something new, some drama, some more shit. I’m tired of that, man. I’m here to play baseball, man.”

snip

"It's starting to become the [expletive]hole it used to be," Ortiz said. "Playing here used to be so much fun."

Yeah, this is a kid's game. The media needs to stop getting so worked up over baseball. *cough* DAVID ORTIZ HATES BOSTON *cough* KATE UPTON NAKED *cough* pageviews *cough*

Okay, so maybe he's venting about the media and this will all be taken out of context. He should have just blamed Buster Olney for calling the clubhouse environment "toxic" or shoved Bobby Valentine into traffic. Ortiz knows the Boston Red Sox hype is over-the-top, why incite a riot?

Not that it matters to me, I love a good shitstorm. And Ortiz has stirred one up for us. Manny Ramirez must be so proud.

Troy Tulowitzki Wrecked His Groin

In a story not involving Jager bombs and regret, Troy Tulowitzki wrecked his groin. It's surgery bad. Sure, you took one for the team last weekend and had to take a trip to the free clinic but it didn't require surgery.

Tulo has come down with a case of Hockey Goalie/Baseball Pitcher Syndrome which sounds cooler than Athlete’s Pubalgia. Or my layman's definition of it, crazy scar tissue messing up a nerve near your junk. That sentence is an example of why I didn't get into med school.

The Rockies short stop and franchise player (co-franchise with Carlos Gonzalez) will make his fourth career trip to the disabled list and miss roughly eight weeks. But, boy, Tulowitzki has a ton of DTDs on his player card for someone in the second year of a $157.75 million contract. Tulo is a high pick in a lot of franchise-style mock draft and fantasy drafts. For good reason, he's a good defensive short stop (even if UZR is meh on him this year) and a monster at the plate. But if health is a skill, he lacks it.

The good news, if there is any, is that Tulowitzki at least has the bothersome injury diagnosed and can get it fixed. He's not in good spirits, though...

"My spirits aren't good," Tulowitzki said Tuesday.

See?

It was already a lost season for the 25-42 Rockies that are 16 games out of the West and 11.5 out of a Wild Card. For attendance sake, they better hope CarGo doesn't break his collar bone falling down stairs carrying deer meat.

And with the weekend approaching, please, dear readers, take care of your groins.

Why My Girlfriend Is Jealous Of Mike Trout

I recently wrote a post at Halo Hangout asking if the Mike Trout love has gone too far. My quick, and obvious, answer was "no." In fact, Trout probably ins't getting enough love. My girlfriend, on the other hand, disagrees.

According to her, a Yankees fan I might add, I write and talk about Trout too much. She's starting to get jealous. Of course, she has nothing to worry about as there are some pretty harsh words in the restraining orders his lawyers have sent me.

Okay, she might have a point. I did petition FanSided to change HaloHangout.com to MikeTrout.net. Or MikeTrout.org, I'm willing to write nonprofit about him just to get the word out. You can kind of see her point now, right?

Well, whatever. Trout is doing some amazing things this season. After a brief and disappointing stint with the Angels in 2011, Trout is putting up MVP numbers despite missing the first month of the season crushing Triple-A pitchers. I've already dusted off the spot on his mantle where I think his AL Rookie of the Year trophy should go. I have a spot picked out for his MVP trophy too but the cops respond to alarms promptly in some areas of Orange County.

He's leading the American League in stolen bases with 19. Now qualified for the batting title, Trout is second in AVG (.337) behind Paul Konerko (.357), third in OBP (.397) trailing Konerko (.431) and Joe Mauer (.415) and third in fWAR (3.4) just tenths of points behind Josh Hamilton (3.6) and Adam Jones (3.5).

He currently leads baseball in prom invitations sent by me at six, sorry Chase. Mike Trout is on his way to multiple All Star Games, MVPs and might even drag the Angels and Albert Pujols to a few World Series titles. How can you not love a guy who might be the next Mickey Mantle or Willie Mays? Mike Trout is almost an urban legend at this point in his career.

Yeah, maybe I write or talk too much about Trout. She has a point. And boobs. I'll try to tame my enthusiasm for the kid.

(Just kidding, Mike)

Good Month For Rex Brothers (Singular)

June has been a good one for Rex Brothers.

I was hoping for a very different Rex Brothers. Sadly, the Colorado reliever is just one player. When the 2009 MLB Rule 4 draft buzz about Rex Brothers was occurring, my first thought was there were Rex Brothers like the Upton brothers but twins. One lefty and one righty, naturally, but otherwise identical. Ideally, one of them would have been evil but that was more of a pipe dream.

It was set up perfectly, too. The Red Sox could have drafted Rick Rex (non-evil, lefty) with the 28th pick and the Yankees could have drafted Raul Brothers (evil, righty) with the next pick, 29th overall. The saga would continue on for years like Superman vs. Lex Luther or Batman vs. the Joker or horses vs. zebras or Me vs. sanity.

It was too good to be true. Rex Brothers is simply one left handed reliever selected by the Rockies in 2009 with the 34th overall pick in the sandwich round. Brothers pitched 40.2 innings in 2011 and 23.1 so far in 2012 with a career 13.22 K/9.

He's been better this June with 14 strikeouts against three walks in eight innings. Brothers has given up two hits and one run that came on a home run. Just 24-years-old, Brothers might have a closer role in his future. But he's only one man.

Other baseball brothers that are just one: Francis Brothers (CHW minors, 1946), John Brothers (CIN minors, 1990-1994) and Michael Brothers (2002, parts unknown).

Other brothers that should be just one: Wayans brothers (Damon), Baldwin brothers (Alec), Wright brothers (Orville) and the Ringling brothers (Otto).