Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bay boy is Jimmy Jones and he's here because he threw 251 pitches in a high school game. How'd that work out for you?

Hey kids, I took the weekend off to watch football and finally got around to trying some of that "alcohol" you kids keep talking about. Delicious. I'm now super behind on baseball and the pregaming for the Saints' Monday Night Game starts in about an hour. Let's check out some of yesterday's games real quick...

Orioles 4, Yankees 3 (11). Mariano Rivera gave up a Luke Scott homer, blowing a save and frightening more New Yorkers than that Cloverfield moth. While I've never seen that movie or know if that reference even makes sense, it apparently won't stop me from using it. Derek Jeter went 1-4 with a pair of walks, dragging his OBP kicking and screaming to .332 for the season. But the Yanks remain .5 game up in the East because...

Angels 6, Rays 3. Bobby Abreu hit a pair of home runs and even Peter Bourjos got in on the fun crushing a homer to deep left. Scott Kazmir got the win (weird) pitching 5 innings (normal) and allowing only 1 run (very weird). The Angels are just 10.5 games out of first heading into a series against the Rangers. I'm starting to have my doubts about this season.

Dodgers 7, Rockies 6. The Rox got in trouble in the 4th after Furcal was ruled safe at first on a double play ball. Then Huston Street blew his save in the 9th before the Dodgers won it on an A.J. Ellis 11th inning single. Troy Tulowitzki didn't hit a home run and I'm quite frankly worried about him. He's now homerless since Saturday. The Rox are still just 1.5 back in the West because...

Giants 9, Brewers 2.
Cardinals 4, Padres 1.
The Giants took a .5 game lead over the Padres after Jose Guillen went crazy all over some baseballs for a change. The unstable "outfielder" went 2-4 with a homer and 6RBI. Blog favorite Buster Posey went 2-2 with 3 walks. Meanwhile in St. Louis, the Padres couldn't do anything about Adam Wainwright or Colby Rasmus and lost for the 11th time in September. They're the Bizarro Rockies when September rolls around. Wainwright pitched 8 innings of 1-run ball for his 19th win of the season and Rasmus added his 23rd home run of the year.

Pirates 4, Diamondbacks 3. Because if I didn't tell you they played, how would you ever know? The Pirates actually swept the Backs in a series that was only a little more exciting than those long thermal underwear with a trap door back.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bay boy is Tsuyoshi Shinjo and he's here because I found a picture of his bobblehead. They can't all be winners, folks.

Hey kids, I'm reporting yesterday's event live from super hot Baton Rouge. My neighbor's WiFi seems to be working so let's crank out some highlights before they shut me down...

Giants 10, Dodgers 2. San Francisco took a .5 game lead in the West riding a Jonathan Sanchez 7 inning, 1-run 12 strikeout performance to victory. Blog favorite Buster Posey went 2-5 with his 14th home run of the season. He's really good. I thought I should point that out. You're welcome. Some guy named Russell Mitchell hit his first home run of the season for the Dodgers. His batting average (.059) is sad about his OBP (.056).

Indians 3, Angels 2 (11). *hugs football season*

Cardinals 4, Padres 0. Jake Westbrook threw 8 innings of 6-hit shutout ball while walking and striking out 3. That doesn't excite you? How about David Eckstein going 1-3? Work with me people, there were only 6 games yesterday.

Mets 6, Pirates 2. Um, let's see. The Mets played someone named Lucas Duda in left field. His middle name is Christopher.

Twins 8, White Sox 5. Paul Konerko hit his 37th home run of the season. His .323/.402/.604 line isn't getting much MVP hype which is why I employ Paul Konerko dog.

Dogs wearing hats, get on board.

Diamondbacks 3, Reds 1. I wish I had more pictures of dogs wearing hats. Logan Ondrusek pitched a scoreless inning for the Reds. Chris Young struck out 3 times for the Backs. Someone bought cotton candy and after two cavities and five sticky fingers, regretted that purchase.

Mets 6, Pirates 2. What? We covered this already? I must have been taking a nap.

Capt'n Jetes' Oscar Performance

During the final game of the Yankees and Rays meaningless battle for first place, Derek Jeter busted out his acting chops. It was quite the impressive performance too. I'm thinking about casting him in my short film Derek Jeter and Minka Kelly on Vacation. It's less of an artsy project and more of something I'm working on for TMZ. He's also pretty crucial to the project. I digress.

Chad Qualls threw an inside pitch to the .262/.330/.368 hitting "short stop" that, upon further review, hit bottom of the bat. Jeter grabbed his elbow and cried out in pain. The acting was so convincing that I assume Derek Jeter lived in Qualls basement in the offseason and watched him hit batters in the elbow while studying their reaction all winter long. It was good enough for home plate umpire to award Jeter first base after a conference and a bag of popcorn. Yankee trainer Gene Monahan even came out to check on Jeter in hopes of landing a best supporting actor nom.

Curtis Granderson followed with a 2-run home run to put the Yankees up momentarily. The Rays would eventually win the game riding Dan Johnson's one game power surge and pair of home runs. Afterward, Jeter seemed proud of the acting even though I'm disappointed he didn't give any credit to the numerous actresses he's dated. From the AP...

Jeter, who stood doubled over while receiving attention from a trainer, confessed that the ball hit the end of his bat and he sold the call to Barksdale with a good acting job.

"He told me to go to first base. I'm not going to tell him I'm not going to first, you know," Jeter said.

"It's part of the game. My job is to get on base. Fortunately for us it paid off at the time, but I'm sure it would have been a bigger story if we would have won that game."

Indeed, Derek, indeed. He has to be a lock for the Entourage movie, right?

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bay boy is Choo Freeman and he's here because he's Torii Hunter's cousin.

I haven't forgotten about you guys but it's been an almost Internet-free week for me in Baton Rouge. I'll try to make it up to you if I ever get a steady stream of stolen borrowed WiFi.

Rockies 6, Padres 4. The Rox make it back to the top billing after a couple of losses. The Rockies run their September record to 11-4 but remain 2.5 games out of first. New blog favorite Troy Tulowitzki went 3-5 with 2 more home runs and 7 RBI. Tulo has 11 homers and 27 RBI to go with a .361/.409/.984 line in September. Yikes. Adrian Gonzalez also smacked a pair for the first place Pads.

Rangers 11, Tigers 7. Not much quality pitching to be found as the Rangers cruised to their 7th straight win. Vladdy hit his 27th home run of the season proving last year was just a fluky down season. He's back to a respectable .305/.348/.506 line while I yell profanities at my computer every time Hideki Matsui gets an at bat for the Angels.

Angels 7, Indians 0. Speaking of my Halos, Jered Weaver pitched a 7 inning gem, striking out 7. He leads the league in strikeouts (218) and is 5th in ERA (2.96) and FIP (3.05) but with a 12-11 record won't sniff many CY Young votes. Catching prospect Hank Conger got the start for the Angels and went 1-4. The aforementioned Matsui went 1-3, jerk.

Rays 4, Yankees 3. The Rays flip-flopped back into first place on the ridiculous power of Dan Johnson who hit his 4th and 5th homers of the season. Capt'n Jetes showed off his acting chops, hopefully more on that later, after a ball almost hit him. By almost hit him, I mean hit his bat. But he's the almighty Jetes so he was awarded first base. That would draw the ire of Joe Maddon and he'd end up getting tossed. I really don't like the Yankees and I'm not afraid to admit it.

Orioles 3, Blue Jays 1. Pitching prospect Kyle Drabek made his debut for the Jays last night. It wasn't the cleanest outing but the kid is only 22-years-old and the Orioles have been much better under the guidance of the Buck Showalter express. Drabek went 6 innings allowing 3 runs on 9 hits and 3 walks while striking out 5. The future is bright for the Blue Jays rotation. Crazy Jose Bautista hit his 47th home run. I've kind of become fascinated by the Blue Jays.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bay boy is Damian Rolls and he's happy the Rays are in first place.

Today's roundup of yesterday's games comes just before tonight's games. But I have an excuse this time. I had to drive up to Baton Rouge today and my window to steal the Internet is limited. Also, today's Jobu is in honor of a good buddy of mine who welcomed his daughter into the world today so no "your sister jokes" or "dick jokes" in this post. Which is really going to handcuff me, let's get to it...

Rays 1, Yankees 0 (11). The Rays overtook the Yankees for first place in the East in the most meaningless divisional race ever. It really doesn't matter which teams finishes first. The slight edge in home field advantage in the ALCS is cancelled out by the fact that the Rays get nervous when more than 40 people show up to a home game. Reid Brignac hit the pinch hit, walkoff homer in the 11th to spoil CC Sabathia's 8 shutout inning gem. I hope not getting that win doesn't cost him the Cy Young. That was written in my sarcasm font.

Padres 6, Rockies 4. The Padres clearly don't read this blog and therefore don't subscribe to my theory that the Rockies are incapable of losing in September. The Pads halted the Rox 10-game winning streak and regained a 2.5 game lead over the Rox and stayed up a half of game over the Giants. For the good of my theory, I choose not believe this game took place. New blog favorite Troy Tulowitzki hit a three run bomb that I will allow to stand though.

A's 3, Royals 1. Just thought I'd mention this game happened for anyone who doesn't live in Kansas City or Oakland. You're welcome.

Phillies 11, Marlins 4.
Braves 4, Nationals 0.
The Phils and Brave beat up on their NL East brethren but it's Philadelphia that remains a game up on Atlanta for first place. Werth, Utley, Chooch and Greg Dobbs homered for the Phils. Greg Dobbs was of the pinch hit variety because why would he be in that lineup. Derek Lowe tossed 8 shutout innings for the Bravos striking out 12. The Billy Wagner struck out the side for the save. I didn't believe any of that either until I remembered it was against the Nats.

Reds 7, Diamondbacks 2. Jay Bruce went 3-4 with 2 home runs and is now hitting .353/.423/.741 since August 1st. The Reds a really good young, cheap core of players and this might be the changing of the guard in the NL Central. Face it, the Cardinals won't have any payroll flexibility after they sign the Arch over to Pujols soon and that team ain't getting any younger. The Cubs are the Cubs. And the Astros and Pirates? Well maybe if they combined teams, they could finish 3rd.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bay boy is Billy McMillon and he's here to remind you he was no Mike Stanton.

Alright gang, week one of the new NFL season has just a pair of Monday Night Games to go but there is still plenty of good baseball to talk about. I realize you probably have fantasy football fever and can barely get your eyes to focuse but try to stay with me as we take a quick spin through some of yesterday's games...

Rockies 4, Diamondbacks 2. Rox ran their winning streak to 10 games and sit just 1.5 games back in the NL West. Jason Giambi provided the heroics hitting the walk-off 2-run homer coming off the bench to pinch hit. Everything is turning up Rockies in September and I don't think there is a team in the National League that would want to meet them in the playoffs. New blog favorite Troy Tulowitzki only went 1-4 which makes me a little sad.

Rangers 4, Yankees 1. Cliff Lee pitched 8 innings of 1 hit ball to complete the sweep of the ALDS preview. I didn't see it anywhere on the news but I assume there is mass hysteria and rampant punching of the panic button in the streets of New York. Yankees 3-4-5 hitters combined to go 0-10 with 3 strikeouts or 0-11 with 4 strikeouts if you want to count Lance Berkman's pinch hit failure. Neftali Feliz struck out the side for his 36th save of the season and appears to be Austin Jackson's only competition for AL ROY.

Marlins 6, Nationals 5. Mike Stanton continues to provide some entertainment for the dozens of Marlins fan that tune in once a week to watch their team. The 20-year-old rookie slugger is only hitting .251/.318/.529 but hit his 19th and 20th homers in his 320th and 321st plate appearance. That could translate into 40 home runs next season. And what we know about chicks digging the long ball, the Marlins might see a spike in attendance to the low hundreds next year.

Blue Jays 5, Rays 4. Jose Bautista failed to hit a home run and it's getting to a point where that is news. Adam Lind did hit a home run rewarding fantasy patience with his disappointing mediocrity all season. I say next season we swap the Blue Jays with Pittsburgh and see what happens. The Pirates will still get their top 5 draft pick but the Jays might win the National League Pennant.

Brewers 2, Cubs 0. Yovani Gallardo basically won this game by himself. Gallardo pitched 7 shutout innings and hit the game winning RBI double in the 4th inning. Casey McGahee hit an insurance solo shot in the 8th inning but this was all Yovani. Blake DeWitt and his .340 OBP lead off for the Cubs and went 0-4 with 2 strikeouts. Kosuke Fukudome and his .378 OBP went 1-3 with a walk in the 3-hole. Just sayin.

Giants 6, Padres 1. Blog favorite Buster Posey went 2-4 and hit his 13th homer of the season. He raised his line to .324 /.369/.509 and would get my NL ROY vote if the BBWAA would give me one but they don't think too kindly of my strongly worded emails and violent threats. Loosen up guys. The Giants and Padres are back in the old virtual tie and the NL West race has me strangely aroused. It's time for more counseling.

Cardinals 7, Braves 3. Albert Pujols swung the bat with great vengeance and furious anger going 2-5 with 2 home runs and 2 strikeouts. His 39th home run of the season should put the final nail in the Triple Crown possibility coffin.

Jayson Werth Wants Every Penny He Can Get

Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth is about to hit free agency at the end of the season and figures to be one the most sought after properties during the hot stove period. Werth bounced around as a prospect between the Blue Jays and Dodgers before realizing his potential in Philadelphia in 2007. Since joining the Phightins', he has 88 homers and a .280/.378/.498 line. The 31-year-old outfielder will depart the brotherly love of Philly during free agency while seeking a Jason Bay-esque contract that he won't live up to and the team will regret for 3 years.

But Jayson is certainly chasing the cash. The Phils could offer an extension but Raul Ibanez is eating all of Philly's payroll like a stray goat in a recycling yard. And my 4th grade teacher said I'd never master a simile. It doesn't really matter though, Werth wants the money, yo. Werth has reportedly cut ties with his former agency, the Beverly Hills Sports Council, and is seeking new representation.

Shouldn't be hard for the second best free agent outfielder to find a new agent, right? Not so fast hot shot. Werth can't land Boras or the Levinsons because he doesn't want to kick out that 5%. You want 3% of his cantract? Shoot him an email. I did. And Master P, if you're reading this, I want a finder's fee.

Okay, it's his free agent market after Carl Crawford and Cliff Lee sign somewhere. But if they both end up Yankees, Werth won't need that extra 2% to cover New York taxes and the cost of take out and cigarettes. That might not be entirely true, he'll probably end up in Los Angeles.

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Offbasepercentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bay boy is Kazuo Matsui and he's here to remind you that Hideki Matsui (no relation) is still productive sometimes.

Hey kids, I'm doing some late night house keeping so I can concentrate on the first week of my fantasy football leagues. I'm also very busy studying for a fantasy hockey draft that will probably never happen. All of my old Jobu rules apply, so let's get to it...

Rockies 2, Diamondbacks 1. Rox continue to get top bill, extending their winning streak to 9 with a perfect September. Ubaldo Jimenez went 6 innings surrendering a run while striking out 8. Colorado remains 2.5 games out of first in the West while the Padres and Giants duel it out. New blog favorite Troy Tulowitzki went a disappointing 0-4 and CarGo only saw action as a defensive replacement.

Rangers 7, Yankees 6. Another one run game in the ALDS preview series and the Rangers won again. The Rangers used all of their relief pitchers last night and resorted to beer and cotton candy vendors to close the door on the Yanks. Doug from section 112 was especially effective tossing 0 innings of 0 hit ball.

Reds 5, Pirates 4 (10). Joey Votto went 1-3 with a solo shot. There won't be a Triple Crown winner this season. Unless Pujols has a falling out with Tony La Russa and CarGo gets to play the rest of his games at Coors Field. The MVP voting should be interesting though and whatever the outcome is, I'll disagree.

Angels 7, Mariners 4. Hideki Matsui went 1-1 with a home run and a pair of walks. Coming into tonight's game, Matsui was hitting .381/.500/.524 in September. With the Angels a mere 10 games out of the West, Matsui picked a great time to get hot. Thanks for costing the Angels the 12th pick overall next year, jerk. King Felix gave up 4 earned in a messy start dooming his Cy Young chances. He's still the best pitcher in baseball but at 11-11, good luck sir.

Royals 8, White Sox 2. The Royals offense, inspired by the Pat White signing, unloaded all over Edwin Jackson. Wilson Betemit and Kila Ka'aihue both went 3-4 and Kyle Davies even scored a win. Royals 2016!

Braves 6, Cardinals 3 (12). Jason Heyward went 1-4 with a home run while Albert Pujols went 1-3 and didn't hit a home run. Who's the Pujols now, Pujols?

Twins 1, Indians 0. Something funny. I'm tired.