Oswaldo Arcia's Golden Sombrero

A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). 

We will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.

Strike outs!

It had been a while since Off Base had picked apart a hitter's failures at the plate, but Friday Minnesota's Oswaldo Arcia struck out a whole bunch at the House That Boone Logan Built.

First, let's see how many different ways we can misspell/pronounce 'Oswaldo Arcia':

Hoswoldo Arsea
Oswaldiman Archeletta
Oswald Artsia
Old Halss Waldaborncia
Ozzie Canseco
Ozzie Garcia
Roy Oswalrcia
Ozzie & Waldo Garcia

OK.

In the second, Arcia faced Hiroki Kuroda, who recently was left off the American League all star team despite excellent numbers. As a Yankees fan I would've been outraged at Kuroda’s omission except that the all star game is really really stupid. Arcia struck out swinging.

The Twins had a runner at second with no outs in the 4th, but Kuroda got Arcia swinging again.

** Top of the 6th inning - Preston Claiborne vs. Oswaldo Arcia **

After the initial hysteria of Claiborne-Arcia I wore off, Claiborne picked up a swinging strike out.

In the eighth, Arcia completed his historic evening by going down looking against David Robertson.


One more: Oz Waldarcia

Team Value in Return or, How the Astros are Still a Laughing Stock

Casual baseball fans, think about the game on a semi-regular basis. How do I know this? I too was once a casual fan. Bloggers, are not casual fans. We spend our spare time thinking about what we can write about next and whether or not we wrote about it a week ago, or if some other blog has already tackled the subject. In other words, our bottles of soap and shampoo last much longer than that of a casual fan. So, in the spirit of blogging instead of showering, I decided to calculate the value that each team has gotten in return on their investments (players) up to this point in the season.


A couple of quick things about the table below.

1.) All the payrolls are prorated for the amount of games that each team has played so far this season. So, no, the Dodgers did not find a way to shrink their payroll down to $113MM without any news media outlet finding out. I will note however, that if I had left the salaries at the full season amount, some teams would already show up with a positive difference between the value earned and money spent. But I will touch on that later because I have to be fair to the Yankees

2.) The goal is to find the value earned based on Fangraphs' version of Wins Above Replacement. Emphasis on "Above." Sam Miller of Baseball Prospectus explained to me that this exercise shouldn't penalize teams for players that are playing at replacement level and that since the league minimum salary is already priced into the concept of WAR, it should be removed, and that teams should be compared by what they spend above and beyond that. So the league minimum salary of $490,000 (side note: I should have kept playing baseball) has been removed for each player on a teams roster. And that has been prorated to adjust for games played by each team, or (490,000 * 25) * .52. Simple, right? In this case, that amount is $6,492,500.

3.) There is no "3." But everyone always has a third bullet point, and I wanted one too. So there it is.

First and foremost; Damnit, Jeffery Loria. So much damnit. He shipped off almost every player that was making any serious money before the season started and somehow, some way, the Marlins already have accrued more value then he has paid out in salary up to this point. Damnit.

Everybody say it with me: AstroLOLs. Their total payroll of $26.1MM for the 2013 season is the lowest in all of baseball. It is more than $200MM less than what the Yankees are spending this season per Baseball Prospectus. Yet there they are, in the negative by more than $4MM. Don't ever change, Houston. Don't ever change.

The Rays, Athletics and Pirates have three of the five lowest payrolls in baseball. The Rays and Athletics have recieved already in return, more than $100MM in value from their players. And the Pirates are right there at $97.68MM. 

The Yankees and the Dodgers are the only two teams with payrolls north of $200MM, and unless they go on serious tears to close out the season, they don't have a snowballs chance in H-E-double hockey sticks of generating positive value.

Mike Trout has accrued an fWAR of 5.1, just under half of what the Angels offense has been worth this season so far. Mike Trout is the best. Ditto for Miguel Cabrera who's fWAR is already at 5.7. The difference between the two, salary. Cabrera is making $21MM this season and is already worth $28.7MM. Trout is making $510,000 this season and is already worth $25.5MM. Miguel Cabrera has been better this season by fWAR, but Mike Trout has been far more valuable in terms of money.

Three of the four teams that are in the negative for value, have the three highest salaries in baseball (Yankees, Dodgers and Phillies). The other is the Astros. So, once again, LOL Astros. But unlike the Dodgers and Yankees, the Phillies have an outside chance of at least breaking even by seasons end. Maybe. Possibly. Probably not. But, possibly. And it serves as a great example that money spent does not necessarily equate to value in return.

So, in case you were wondering (and even if you weren't, because I was anyway) about how much value your team, or some other team may have generated during the season so far relative to whatever portion of $3.19 Billion being spent by Major League Baseball on player payrolls (Wow!), there's the table. At least, if nothing else, I finally learned how to use Microsoft Excel. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a shower. I'm sure I have plenty of soap.

Miguel Olivo Put on the "Go Sit in the Corner" List

The loosely considered professional baseball organization that resides in Miami, Florida was in the news today, thanks to one, Miguel Olivo. Olivo demanded a release from Jefferey Loria's team for the third time last night, and was denied for the third time last night. So in true professional style, Olivo watched the first inning from the clubhouse, then showered, then got dressed, then left. Totally fake Unofficial reports suggested that the list thing heard from the one time decent backstop turned third string catcher was, "Screw you guys, I'm going home." This, of course, is yet to be confirmed.

Bill Plaschke: Can't we all Just get Along?

“I think it's odd that grown-ups quarrel so easily and so often and about such petty matters. Up to now I always thought bickering was just something children did and that they outgrew it.” Oh, that Anne. She's a hoot. As long as their is red blood flowing through a man's veins, I expect bickering to forever be apart of his psyche. And with bickering comes fighting. So, my apologies, Miss Anne Frank, but some things never go away. And the escalation from bickering to fighting was on full display earlier this week when the D-Backs and the Dodgers go themselves into a bit of a scuffle. I guess, boys will be boys.

The Derwood Morris Fantasy Baseball Team

I hadn't played fantasy baseball since 2006, the year I drafted Derek Jeter first overall and the other people in the league (one claimed his name was "Dave", sounded made up) said I was a fool. Then Jeter hit .343 and I won the league (I also had Johan Santana and Carlos Beltran, but I think Vinny from Jersey would agree that Chewing On Derwood Morris' Fingers doesn't win without Jeetah).

From 2007-2012 I skipped fantasy baseball season. I just didn't have time because I get so wrapped up in the NFL Draft.




Anyway, fast forward to late-April, 2013, and we have Lavelle Rondo Apologists, the first Derwood Morris-led fantasy baseball team in seven years.

Today was draft day in the Federal League at cbssports.com, and Lavelle Rondo Apologists had the fourth overall pick. The following is a running account of how it went.

Jean Segura Doesn't Care About Direction

There are a few certainties in life, guarantees if you will. The sun will rise in the east and, subsequently, set in the west. Your taxes will be due on April 14th every year. Ed McMahon will not be coming by my house anytime soon to deliver a giant check. When running the bases, you will not go back a base after advancing to the next one. These are guarantees in life that we can all rest our laurels upon. At least, they all were until today, when Jean Segura - the rookie shortstop for the Milwaukee Brewers - went and disrupted the space-time continuum by, essentially, stealing first base against the Chicago Cubs.

Joe Nathan Gets Save 300 With an Assist from Marty Foster

Once upon a summer's day, Joe Nathan was as elite a reliever as you could find in all of baseball. As a member of the one-time Major League Baseball organization Minnesota Twins, Nathan established himself as such with an ERA+ of 204 and accruing 18.4 WAR according to Baseball-Reference. He appeared in four All Star Games and had two seasons where he finished in the top five for the American League Cy Young award. Not too shabby for a failed starter.

Although he hasn't been the same quality of reliever that he was for the Twinkies, Nathan has been at the very least, consistent and reliable for the Texas Rangers. Of course, at age 38, it would be unfair to expect anything more from a person who is 12 years away from AARP benefits and 15 years away from needing a colostomy bag. He did post an ERA+ last year of 163 and was still good enough for a bWAR of 1.9. Tommy John Surgery may have extended his career an extra couple of seasons, but chances are, he is coming up on his last ride in the not to distant future.

Trevor Bauer Throws A Golden Huarache

So far, Trevor Bauer's adjustment to life in pro ball from UCLA is off to a much worse start than Keifer Sutherland's television career after 24. Have you seen Touch? Yeah, neither has anyone else. Making his Cleveland Indians debut after the Diamondbacks jettisoned Bauer (Trevor) for cents on the dollar, the 22-year-old pitcher turned in a performance that led me to believe I could have been an on base monster in the majors. Except, you know, I cramped up typing that sentence.

Before we get to Bauer's first inning where he was (allegedly) blindfolded and spun around a bat 10 times, I should explain the title of this post. I've decided to take it upon myself to name a stat that nobody is tracking because..you're welcome. A Golden Huarache is when a pitcher walks four batters in an inning. A huarache is a Mexican sandal. Sounds reasonable, right? What Bauer did, however, was throw a Natural Golden Huarache or walk the first four batters he faced. Let's see how the magic happened...

Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Desmond Jennings looking. Oh, I suppose all of these will be looking. I'm used to covering Golden Sombreros. Jennings took the first pitch for a strike before getting four consecutive balls. Four Consecutive Balls is also the name of a male strip club in New Orleans. So I've heard.

Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Matt Joyce. Bauer got ahead in the count 0-2 before falling behind 3-2. Joyce fouled two off before taking the walk.

Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Ben Zobrist. On four pitches. Here's my artist's rendition of the at bat...



Bottom 1st: Bauer walks Evan Longoria. This was actually a nine pitch battle because Longoria swung at stuff having clearly not watched the first three plate appearances by his teammates. But he managed to get that sweet bases loaded walk RBI anyway.

Bauer got out of the inning after James Loney fouled out on the first pitch he saw, Yunel Escobar lined out and Joyce was out at home. All said, Bauer threw 105 pitches (59 strikes) over 5.0 innings giving up just three runs on two hits and seven walks. The injured and often terrible Scott Kazmir can breathe easy, unless that strains his back, considering his fifth spot in the Indians rotations appears safe.

But it does raise the question of what is wrong with Trevor Bauer. Is he masking an injury? Is he just not that good? Is his pregame warmup stupid? Did his daughter get caught in a cougar trap in season two? No, that would be ridiculous. Could it be the dreaded yips? Because I hear Chuck Knoblauch holds a camp that teaches you how to not cry after throwing a baseball 50 feet from its intended target.

If I had to guess, Bauer probably just needs glasses and to stop sleeping with Corbin Bernsen's wife.