Thursday, March 22, 2012

Was Lake Elsinore A Better Fit For Tebow?

If there's two things I love it's silly Minor League stunts. Love it when a team channels its inner Bill Veeck. Oh, I said two? Let's go with dogs wearing hats then. Yeah, that sounds classier than Internet porn.

Luckily, the Single-A team for the Padres came up with a wacky idea that also covered my new habit of writing about Tim Tebow everyday. After the Jets kinda-sorta-trade for Tebow was temporarily paused (because reading contracts is for Ivy Leaguers, jerk), the Lake Elsinore Storm stepped up to the plate with a proposal...

"We know that Tim was the cause for late-game comebacks in Denver and we have our own leader of rallies, the Rally Cop. We would like to offer the Broncos the Rally Cop as well as the Grounds Crew Gorilla, winner of an MiLB Golden Bobble head last season, in exchange for Tebow," said Jones.

The Storm will also be willing to rename the stadium Elway Stadium if the Broncos are willing to accept the offer.

Here's my question, do the people in the mascot costumes come in this deal? If not, will the mascot suits be dry cleaned in lieu of physicals? These are important details.

It's unclear what role Tebow would play on the team. As Storm GM Chris Jones said, "We're not sure about Tim's baseball past." That's cool. It's just Single-A. I'm pretty sure Tebow could hold his own in the low minors. Here's my scouting report...

"Tim Tebow is a gifted athlete who possesses full sets of both arms and legs. Dedicated, hard working and other synonyms, he comes to play everyday. A true locker room leader with good makeup. Mascara, foundation, lipstick (we think he's selling Mary Kay). Ability to throw a ball, results may vary."

*leans back in leather chair, waits for scouting job*

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