Monday, June 2, 2014

Lloyd-Trout Engagement Announcement

Anaheim Angels outfielder Mike Trout, the "pride of the Anaheim Angels outfield", has accepted a marriage proposal from 44-year old M.J. Lloyd of New Orleans. The two have known each other since Trout's senior year at Millville High School in New Jersey when Lloyd showed up to the school's prom with a cardboard cutout of Trout glued to his bare chest.

"It was a match made at my Uncle Murray's house," said Lloyd at the time. "That's where I had the cutout made and Murray did the gluing in the driveway before the limo came."

The two drifted apart after Trout was selected in the first round of the 2009 MLB Draft by the Angels and Lloyd began his career as an Applebees hostess impersonating an Elvis impersonator, coining the phrase "thank you, thank you very much for coming."

Trout would become one of the top players in baseball, while also becoming one of the country's most eligible bachelors, finishing first in his living room for five consecutive weeks on the reality TV show Watching 'The Bachelor'.

Little did Trout know, but his old flame was also watching Trout's television, from a Japanese maple, on the reality show Watching Mike Trout Watch Things. The two have been inseparable ever since.

"His eyes were so bloodshot, I had him come inside and I picked all of the leaves out of his ears. Then I realized how much I had missed him," said Trout. "Also, he had a fun size Butterfinger in his beard, so, he asked me to share a meal, and his life."

The pair hasn't yet set a date for the wedding, though Lloyd has suggested February of 2015, after his team's two decade-long wiffle ball season finally commences. Lloyd is his team's all-time leader in outfield fall downs with 117 and hangons (66), including a league-record 28 Hang On I Think I Was Stung By Somethings.

Pastor Irving Fleisch

is expected to preside over the wedding.

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