Saturday, March 29, 2014

Angels Soft: A Guide To The Big A's Facilities

A few days ago, an Angels website wrote about the best hot spots for pre-game activities. My wife's response to that was: "If that is a topic, then I should write about the stadium's bathrooms." She thought she was joking. I took her to be literal. Three days, and countless Twitter and Facebook votes, later, my wife was writing about the bathrooms at the Big-A. This is what she gets for underestimating me.

As a female in the bathroom-selfie-taking age range, who better to blog about a bathroom than a female in the bathroom-selfie-taking age range? I know, how about someone who has never taken a selfie, let alone a selfie in a bathroom, in her entire life. Someone who is more concerned with using the restroom for what it is actually for, not someone who is looking for the perfect lighting to accent their new highlights and perfect cleavage.

Thanks to a few pushy twitter followers, I have reluctantly taken on this responsibility and hope that when you are finished reading this post, you feel fully informed...and relieved. 

For a place that can seat 45,050 people, 61 bathrooms doesn't seem like nearly enough. But, with the Angels giving Mike Trout $144.5 million [Ed. Woohoo!], don't expect the team to be adding restrooms in the near future. At least all of the restrooms have diaper-changing stations, so ladies, don't let your men fool you into believing otherwise (I'm looking at you, Andrew and Adam).

Whoever is responsible for the placement of concession stands, didn't think it through when they put Clyde Wright's BBQ stand in right field four sections away from the nearest restroom. With options like pulled pork and the famous "Skeeter," bathrooms should be right around the corner. Because once those hit your stomach, it is an awfully long brisk walk...power walk...light jog with clenched butt cheeks. It should also be noted that the ratio of restaurants to bathrooms is 3:1. Not exactly favorable. But it is a healthy 15.25:1 ratio of bathrooms to chili cheese fries stands. Seems like some of that Mike Trout-money could have been used elsewhere. And, no. I am not sorry said that I said that, Mike...or MJ.

It was nice to see that the Angels got rid of the cattle troughs in the men's bathrooms (I went to great lengths to get in-depth analysis. And the men that were in there were not very appreciative of my intrusion. Sorry, guys). It is also nice to see that the bathroom walls are still white. White is the color of new beginnings, a clean slate and Mike Trout's smile. And, after last season's less-than-great performance, I'm sure that Angels fans are more than ready for new beginnings.

Speaking of Mike Trout; I was surprised to find "I heart Trout" more often in men's stalls (Again, great lengths) than in women's stalls. So I was sure to even out the numbers when I visited the women's restrooms.

On the bright side, the bathrooms are kept fairly clean, and the mirrors are always sparkling for you selfie lovers. But these are bathrooms that we are talking about here, not photo studios. Let's keep using the facilities for what they are intended to be used for. Not for glamour shots to be added to your portfolio (i.e. - Instagram). 

The next time that you find yourself at Angels Stadium, be sure to take pride in where you are doing your business, don't forget to flush and always wash your hands. It still is, and always will be, a bathroom. 

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