Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Rod Beck



Royals 1, Nationals 0. This Stephen Strasburg youngster is going to be alright. The Washington offense, on the other hand, reportedly will be played by the Espinoza Nine in an upcoming feature film. Strasburg set another rookie record, picking up 41 strike outs in his first four starts (Herb Score's 40 was the old record). Sadly, the Nats could only get six singles against the Royals, which is the equivalent of getting six handshakes on prom night, and Strasburg, despite nine Ks and one earned run, Riggleman'd for the first time in his young career. Wilson Betemit: DNP.

Phillies 7, Indians 6. Jimmy Rollins, who correctly predicted the Phillies would win last year's World Series in five games, hit the first walk-off home run of his career to help the Phils beat the apendage formerly referred to in conversations as Kerry Wood's right arm. Shin-Soo Choo belted two home runs (his first since June 1) for the Indians, who have lost eight of nine.

Mets 5, Tigers 0. R.A. Dickey is pitching like it's....well, he's......R.A. Dickey is pitching well in 2010. The knuckleballer, who was terrible in nearly all of his 442 2/3 innings through 2009, went eight scoreless Wednesday and has now given up two runs or less in five of his seven starts.

Whitesox 4, Braves 2. Let's bring back KenHarrelsonVoice™ for this one:

"Well, the good guys had to sit through a rain delay before this one, nearly two hours, tell you what. The crew's pick to click during the rain delay was Murray, 7th from the left on the tarp. Atta boy Murray. The bad guys took the lead in the second on a duck snort, but the Sox came back. Pauly with a little bingo, singled in Vizzy, then Carlos put it on the board eeeeeee-s, then later he put it on the board eeeeee-s again. Big night for Carlos, Wimpy's pick to click. In the 9th, Jenkser came in and did what the Jenkser does: he gone! Good guys 4, bad guys 2."

Weekly Cup Of Joe

I prefer to think of this as more of a tribute to Fire Joe Morgan than a blatant ripoff. But who are we really kidding here?

I keep forgetting to check in with Joe Morgan on Tuesdays. This World Cup fever is really getting to me. I might have to go to the free clinic. I gave my grandpa a yellow card the other day for taking too long at the refrigerator. Usually, I like to just grab a nugget of wisdom from every Joe Chat over at the Four Letter but today's Weekly Cup of Joe is going to be a grande. Let's get going kids...

Brian (New York)

Joe, has Robinson Cano finally reached his potential or is there more to come?

Joe Morgan (11:04 AM)

I don't know if there is more to come, but he's a great player, and you can't always measure a great player by numbers, so I don't know what you mean by "potential". To ask, is there more to come? I don't know.

I love how Joe's standard reply has become, "To answer your question, I don't know." That's the hard hitting analysis I deliver here for free. Somebody needs to start sending me money. I could have sworn I copyrighted that. And I thought all we did was measure great players by their numbers. Why do you think people spent so much time on WAR or wOBA? Why do you hate metrics SO MUCH? Then this happened...

Joseph (St. Louis)

Who's will be the NL Central Champs?

Congrats Joseph in St. Louis, you failed English. After I wiped the blood from my eyes, I moved on to this question...

Tito (Brooklyn)

Joe, with the emergence of Joey Votto and Adrian Gonzalez, is Ryan Howard now only the 4th best hitting first baseman in the NL?

Joe Morgan (11:25 AM)

Are you kidding? Ryan Howard's the only guy besides Pujols that does what a first baseman is supposed to do -- he hits home runs, drives in runs, and leads his team to the World Series. Everyone took a shot at his contract -- he's been Rookie of the Year, MVP, and led his team to a World Championship and two consecutive World Series appearances. Has anybody done that other than Pujols? None of those guys have done that. I wonder why no one questions Matt Holliday's similar contract -- he's never won an MVP award or won a World Series. His numbers were put up in Colorado, where everyone puts up big hitting numbers. He's the second-best first baseman in the league, not fourth-best.

Uhh, *head explodes* Yeah, Howard jacks home runs and has a surprisingly high OBP for the amount of strikeouts he accrues. He's a three-true-outcome player. He's Adam Dunn in a better lineup. Just, let's just look at the last three years of OPS+. Does that sound reasonable?

Howard: 2010 - 124 OPS+, 2009 - 140 OPS+, 2008 - 124 OPS+

Gonzalez: 2010 - 173 OPS+ (best in the NL), 2009 - 166 OPS+, 2008 - 139 OPS+

Votto: 2010 - 154 OPS+, 2009 - 155 OPS+, 2008 - 125 OPS+

Recap: Joey Votto and Adrian Gonzalez have been better hitters than Ryan Howard over the past three years.

Strasburg Versus, Um, The Royals?

Are you kidding me? How did Strasburg's schedule end up being Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Chicago and Kansas City. They're a combined 115-165. I haven't checked Strasburg's next start but I'm pretty sure he's pitching against the writing staffs of Off Base, The Dugs and that guy who sold me a bag of oranges on the freeway.

Just like last week though, I was stunned to learn that the Kansas City Royals are the second to last team in strikeouts this season. The White Sox do the least swinging and missing but they still managed to strikeout 10 times against K-Stras™ last week. Then I fell out of my chair when Baseball-Reference told me that the Royals have the highest team batting average in baseball. How many guesses would it have taken you before you got to the Royals for highest BA? 14-ish?

Of course, all of those stats are moot when you go against the greatest pitcher in the history of everything. Like always, I'll be live Tweeting his outing. Come join me at @MnkysThrwngDrts, I'll be the one taking a shot every time Strasburg strikes somebody out swinging.

Marlins Fire Gonzalez

Who knew that beating the Orioles could get you fired? That's what happened to Florida manager Fredi Gonzalez, who was let go following a 10-4 win over Baltimore Tuesday. Gonzalez, the ninth manager in franchise history, was 276-279 in three-plus seasons.

Let's read a hilarious quote by Marlins' owner Jeffrey Loria:

"We owe it to our fans to put this team in the best possible position to win."

Anyway, former AAA New Orleans manager Edwin Rodriguez takes over on an interim basis, while a permanent name that has been floated around is Bobby Valentine. We at Offbase suggest Wallace Fessenden, who went 4-7 as the skipper of the second-place 1890 Syracuse Stars.


[UPDATE: Fessenden died in 1935]

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Tim Teufel

Yankees 9, Diamondbacks 3. Dan Haren had gone seven innings, allowing three runs and was at 109 pitches. Naturally, it was time for Arizona manager A.J. Hinch to go to his bullpen, or The Rudy Steins as I like to call them. The Yankees said "yes, we have no problem hitting against AA pitchers," and in the eighth, NY broke it open with six runs against Esmerling Vasquez (6.00 ERA, 1.50 WHIP) and Chad Qualls (8.88 ERA, 2.26 WHIP). Meanwhile, Andy Pettitte continues to amaze. The southpaw threw seven innings of two-run ball and Alex Rodriguez homered (first since June 3) and drove in three for the defending champions, who are a season-best 1 1/2 games up in the East.

Cardinals 9, Bluejays 4. Jose Bautista came in to the 2010 season with 59 career home runs, never hitting more than 16 in any of his four full seasons. After hitting two off Jaime Garcia, Bautista has a ML-high 20 home runs and his OPS+ of 146 is 48 points higher than his career mark. Oh, yes, something about the winning team. Matt Holliday, whose nickname on Baseball Reference is "Big Daddy", has had a fun four games, going 11-for-17 with five home runs. St. Louis stays a game up on Cincinnati in the Central because....

Reds 4, Athletics 2. This was just a case of playa-hatin'. In this particular incident, Oakland pitcher Dallas Braden didn't respect Bronson Arroyo (8 IP, 2 ER) or the 305, and the Reds kept Whitey winless since May 9. Coco Crisp sighting: two-run home run in the third for Oakland's only runs.

Mariners 2, Cubs 0. A lot of Mariners' trade talk centers around Cliff Lee, but is Jason Vargas available? Another dominant start-7 IP, 4 H, 7 K, 1 BB-for the lefty, who last year was demoted to the bullpen after a dreadful start against the Royals, if you can believe that. This season, he's been a perfect compliment for the ridiculous Lee. Imagine if the Mariners had an offense.

Wally Backman

The video is a couple weeks old, but I've been wanting to get it on the site ever since it happened.

Pay particular attention to: Wally Backman

Curveballs for Jobu

Curveballs for Jobu is Off Base Percentage's daily trip around the ballparks.

Today's honorary bat boy: Al Pedrique

Diamondbacks 10, Yankees 4. This game ended at around 1:00 a.m. eastern time, right now it's 11:17 a.m., and I just finished vomiting chicken wings. A.J. Burnett, who lately has been making a habit of pitching like Murray Burnett (9.40 ERA for Big Creek Middle School in 2008), "pulled another Murray" against Arizona. He retired the first two batters before the Flying Parras had six consecutive hits, three of which were home runs, and that's pretty much all you need to know about this one. Oh, you need to know one other thing: the Yankees popped up 147 times in a nine-inning game, a new major league record.

Nationals 2, Royals 1. You want to know how easy it is to keep your job if you're a major league baseball player or manager? Monday, a Jim Riggleman-managed team beat a team Bruce Chen was pitching for. Wilson Betemit update: struck out pinch hitting in the seventh, average down to .438, ladies heart's broken: 31.

Reds 6, Athletics 4 (10 inn.). Cincy clubbed three home runs - Ramon Hernandez, Joey Votto and Scott Rolen - in the top of the 10th off two A's relievers who wish to remain nameless. Unofficially, 17 people in Oakland were "visibly upset" (Off Base Times).

You Stay Fat, America

Occasionally, I'm going to rant about some nonsense and try to tie it into baseball. I can't promise it will always work. But let's see what happens.

America, you're fat. Sorry to break it to you. Just because you call them "sliders", doesn't mean you should swallow 15 little burgers in one sitting. Well, marketers have definitely taken notice of your glutenous ways. Minor league baseball is popular for two reasons; drinking promotions and crazy food inventions. You want a hamburger between two Krispy Kremes? No problem. Those Oreos and Twinkies aren't hitting the spot? Let's deep fry 'em.

Last year's minor league heart-attack-inducing creation came from the West Michigan Whitecaps. I know, not Wisconsin? Here's a description of the Fifth Third Burger which I believe comes with a Sherpa to help climb it...

It's 5/3 lbs (1.66) of beef with lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, chili and Fritos on an eight-inch sesame seed bun.

The team says it feeds one to four people and sells for $20, and if a person finishes the Fifth Third Burger in one sitting, the team will offer up a Fifth Third Burger T-shirt.

If you finish that in one sitting, they probably don't have a t-shirt in your size. Which I assume is circus tent. This is what it looks like so you can have a mental picture when you take your scooter to your minivan and head to Michigan.

The reason I brought this up is because Friendly's recently came up with a new gut-busting burger. That's right America, it's three sandwiches in one...

Yes, the latest assault on America's waistline comes in the form of Friendly's recently launched Grilled Cheese BurgerMelt. Move over, Double Down, there's a new "something with far more calories than bread as a bun" sandwich in town.

Grilled cheese sandwiches are not buns, they're sandwiches! Yeah, chew on that. If you'll excuse me, I need to send McDonald's an email pitching the McFatty™. It's a Big Mac topped with a 9 piece McNugget.